Need Help Deciding Whether To Bf Please

8 Replies
Sissy - February 21

I have a real dilemna and need some help from Moms who have br___tfeed when they already have a toddler. I Have a 2yr DD, she was born a premie, tried to bf and she never latched properly and then she got extremely ill and we abandoned the bf at 4 weeks. I am now 11 weeks pg with my second, DD will be 29 months when this one is born. I want to BF, but dont know if I can do it. I will be home alone with the new baby and with DD as DH is a truck driver. I have read and that babies will eat every 1.5-2 hrs and just dont know if I can physically keep up with it and taking care of my toddler. there is no way I can get any kind of in home help, all my family works and have children of their own and we cant finacially afford anyone to come in.Can anyone relate a similiar situation and how they coped?? I really believe in BFing and want to try, but dont want to shortchange my DD either....thanks! (btw I am 38 so am worried about my age and bfing too).


Sissy - February 21

Also- I may end up having a repeat c-section also......


jg - February 21

I am not in your situation, but you could always trial BF'ing for a month (not too long to hang out for if it is really hard, but a good amount of time to get some good stuff into your baby!). Could that be an option for you?


Trac - February 21

I have a baby and a toddler, too, although my toddler was 3 1/2 when the baby was born, and b___stfeeding has gone very well. I actually think it's easier because I can have one free hand when I b___stfeed, and I can sit with my older child and read sometimes while I feed the baby. There are no bottles to clean or make. Breastfeeding has been so easy this time for me (it was harder with my first). I would say the health benefits greatly outway any other minor inconveniences. (And you will save tons of money). Start talking with your DD now about how mommy will feed the baby and she can be your big helper and bring you the burp cloth or pacifier. I have found my older child does really well if I make her feel included, make eye contact with her and explain things to her ahead of time. I also make sure to tell her how much the baby loves his big sister and can't wait to learn all the things she knows. I think you will do fine. If you need a support system you can try - it's a great area for b___stfeeding moms. Good luck to you!!


Shawna - February 21

I know that someone has already suggested, but here is a link to articles that sound as if they might help you: (the dash between "newborn" and "toddler" belongs, but if any others appear, take them out) Best of luck with your coming baby!


katie - February 22

i have a new baby now and a toddler - 19 months. it has been a bit harder but it is not impossible, at all. everytime the baby wants to nurse, we all go to the living room and she either plays with her toys while i talk to her or she picks out some books and i pull her up on the sofa beside us and read to her, or she just cuddles up next to me and waits till we're done. as far as physically keeping up with it, i am SO happy i have no mixing formula or washing, warming, preparing bottles to have to contend with. definitely give it a try - i think you'll find it easier than you think!


Nerdy Girl - February 22

I had a really rough time with b___stfeeding my 2nd baby. I thought it would be easy with my newborn son because I successfully b___stfed my daughter for a year. My daughter was 3 at the time of my son's birth and she was having some serious issues regarding his arrival (jealousy, tantrums, regression, etc). My son also had a lot of problems with b___stfeeding right from the get-go. He has a really tiny mouth and a short tongue, which made his latch incorrect. Plus, we went through thrush due to antibiotics we received at birth. He was still having problems latching at 6 weeks of age. It was miserable because I was spending so much time trying to b___stfeed him properly while my daughter felt neglected and was peeing in her pants and throwing a tantrum right next to me. Ugh... I am getting chills thinking about those weeks! I ended up taking my son off the b___st at 6 weeks (not because of my daughter, but because of his own problems with feeding). I pumped for another 6 weeks, but then my supply went down and now my son is on 100% formula. I would still recommend that you give b___stfeeding a try. You might have better luck than I did. You can always stop if is it not working out for you. By the way, my pediatrician told me that b___stfeeding is often a source of depression for 2nd time moms when it doesn't go as well as it did the first time. That is exactly how I felt.


SaraL - February 22

I'm going to pa__s on some of the best advice I read on this forum awhile back - not exactly answering your question, but it might help you in general... The baby will cry 1-4 hours a day. It won't really care if it crys 10 minutes longer, but your toddler will. If your toddler is pitching a fit over something, now is not the time to 'teach her a lesson'. She's reeling from having her life turned upside down. Let the baby cry a bit and turn your attention to your toddlers needs. It sounded goofy to me too - but it has worked wonders for me. It seemed like she figured out that even though the baby does take a lot of my time, she is still important and not always last. Now, baby is 5 weeks, and NOOO big sister tantrums - now, she'll even say if she needs help with something and the baby starts to fuss "it's ok momma, I can wait" - what a sweetie!


Nerdy Girl - February 23

My 3-year-old daughter did not respond to any of the tactics we tried to make her feel special before, during, and after baby's arrival. We have done everything - given her gifts from the baby, taken her to special places that only "big kids" can go (the movies, Rainforest Cafe, etc), make a point of tell her that this is her "special time" when the baby is asleep and we paint or do puzzles together, included her in the baby's care ("can you give momma a diaper?"). She is still so jealous. I am at my wits end... today is day 7 in a row of her peeing in her pants for attention. I just put her back in pull-ups, which I swore I would not do. But I am so sick of cleaning up the house after she has her intentional "accidents." Ugh. Is there a toddler forum on here anywhere..........



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