The Most Difficult Thing I Have Ever Done

32 Replies
Christy - November 10

Is it me, or is brestfeeding the hardest thing you've ever done? It has only been a few days and bottle-feeding is starting to sound really good to me. I can't believe I am even writing this because I have been so gung-ho about br___tfeeding him. I feel so pathetic- like I am destined to fail at this. I love the bonding of it, but I hate the lack of feedback- not knowing if he has gotten enough. I also have a hard time keeping him awake after 10-20 minutes. By the time he gets to bresat number two, he is passed out. So I will put him down and he wakes up screaming. I am so dreading tonight. I hope I don't crack and give him a pacifier or bottle! Am I the only one who feels this way?


Tati - November 10

Breastfeeding is the same as everything you do for the baby you have to get used to it, and in couple days it is hard to do that. It took me two weeks to start injoying it. My b___st got three full sizes bigger and hurted very bad. It is not easy at first but then when he will get the hang of it you both will lve it. Also every child eats different. It took my kids 5-10 minutes to feed others take 1/2 hour even longer. Maybe your baby is a quick eater. And when he gets hungry he will grab on to it like for his life. You know you should try giving him a pacifier they do help even when you b___stfeed.


sam - November 11

it is HARD for most first time moms when b___stfeeding. i had the same worries and i wanted to quit so bad at the beginning...he was constantly at the b___st, he would fall asleep, he wouldn't latch sometimes, i didn't know if he was getting enough...i was a wreck until his 2 week appointment when i found out that he did gain weight. my son is now 3 months old and we are both pros at b___stfeeding and it is so enjoyable, possibly the best experience of my life...i am so proud of myself for not giving up in the will take a while for you to get the hang of it, please don't give up. it is so hard, i know, and you will worry but it WILL get easier for you, i promise. hang in there!


Jamie - November 11

It's hard at first. Hang in there for a few more weeks. To know if hhe's getting enough, watch his diapers. Also, watch the way his clothes fit him. He'd be eating/sleeping constantly at this age whether he was b___st or bottlefed.


Vanaseregwen - November 11

I was right where you are when I started too. It's completely normal to have doubts and be paranoid. The good news is-you will get over it and everything will be just fine! For a sleepy baby I changed diapers in between changing b___sts. He would get one side-change pants-get the other side. He would then start on the side he left off on the next feeding. Good luck and keep your spirits up!! My son is now 2 1/2 and walked over to give me my first completely voluntary kiss 3 days ago.


Heidi - November 11

Hang in there cus you're at the worst part right now. At two weeks my nipples were cracked but I still had to feed my daughter and it was miserable but now at 4.5 wks it's getting much easier and not painful and you get to learn their eating habits. If he is falling asleep try burping him after the first b___st. If my daughter is still hungry she'll get mad when I burp her and fuss so I let her keep eating. I know she's done when she's pa__sed out cold on my shoulder! Another thing like someone else said, try changing his diaper after the first feeding and that'll stir him up a bit and he'll eat more. I also give my daughter a NUK pacifier when she gets grumpy but usually not after a feeding. She usually falls asleep after she eats. Hang in there. It does get easier. I also pump milk and freeze it and I noticed at night if I pump and give that to her in a bottle she goes down faster as she eats a little more faster and doesn't fall asleep so easily with a bottle and her dad can feed her too. If you're pumping, try a bottle at his bedtime feeding. I started adding one bottle a day when she was two weeks old. They don't drink much so you could easily manual pump enough for him for one feeding.


lisa - November 11

christy, my daughter is only 9 days old, i have sore cracked nipples,mast_tis sleepy baby who likes to feed for over a hour at a time, but i plan to keep going, ive got lots of in home support from midwives and go to a b___stfeeding support cla__s, a tip ive been told to keep them awake is strip them to their nappy for feeding, to get them to latch well, dont feed them as soon as they murmer wait a bit till they are properly hungry and awake, ive been ma__saging a bit of milk off if its really sore she then doesnt haveto suck so hard toget on, i know how you feel though, some feeds i cry in pain, others its fine, but its slowley getting easierand i know a few weeks down the line i wont have to steralise anything warm anything, i will have milk on tap, we can do it....:-)


KFish - November 11

I b___stfeed my baby 10 minutes on each side. After one side is done, I would burp him and then change his diaper so he would wake up. I would also only feed him in a diaper. Breastfeeding is comforting to them. If they are warm and suckling, they will fall asleep. After the second side was done, I would burp him, change his diaper and then put him back in his cloths. I would then rock him until he falls asleep again,.


Jamie - November 11

KFish is partially right - DO keep him from falling asleep, but don't limit how long he nurses for, yet. My 13 week old nurses for longer than 10 minutes a side. If you limit the length of each nursing session, you could be depriving him of hindmilk. The better way to guage is by the feel of your b___st - when it's soft and squishy again, THEN switch to the other side. Don't pay attention to your clock until your baby is older and a more efficient nurser.


C - November 11

The first month was extremly difficult. After doing it I can understand why so many people quit. I also felt guilty giving my son a bottle. I ended up deciding that I needed to do both and it's worked great for us. I try to use expressed milk but once I went back to work I started giving him some formula too. I would try your hardest to just do b___stfeeding but if you feel like you can't do it anymore try doing both instead of quitting all together. Some b___st milk is better than none. I always said my son would never use a pacifier either. The nurses gave him one at the hospital and it really seemed to soothe him. I don't give it to him all the time but sometimes it's a life saver.


Christy - November 11

You guys are great. It is so good to know that I am not weird for feeling this way. One question, though. A few of you recommended diaper changes between b___sts and after feeding. Are you changing a clean diaper just to wake them up, or are the diapers dirty? I have been changing him before feeding (if he is dirty) to wake him up and take off his sleeper/shirt to keep him up. It seems to help, although he still pa__ses out a bit. I will burp him between b___sts and he is like a little slug. Well, I guess I am doing allright. I do actually enjoy it for the most part, and anticipate it will get better with time. I think I have another question, but can't remember it right now. Thanks again and any more feedback/advice is appreciated.


Jenn... - November 11

You can do this! I had such a hard time nursing in the beginning, as many women do. I had many days that I wanted to switch to bottle feeding but didn't. Looking back on it now, I am SO glad I stuck with it. The feeling I get when I look down at my son and he is staring at me when he is nursing is so precious and rewarding. It is amazing knowing that all of his nourishment comes from me. If you really beleive in b___stfeeding and you have wanted to do, hang in therem it will get better soon. Contact a lactation consulant and purchase the book "The Breastfeeding Book" by Dr. Sears. These two things helped me so much when I was having a rough time.


Jamie - November 12

Gotta ask a question based on your last post - Christy, are you waking him up to nurse on a schedule, or are you nursing on demand? Most experts recommend that you b___stfeed when the baby wants, don't wake a sleeping baby to b___stfeed; he'll wake up on his own when he's hungry. They say to wake a formula-fed baby, because formula is more difficult to digest, and so baby feels full longer.


lisa - November 12

my midwife says you shouldnt nurse 10 mins each side as baby just gets foremilk from both sides, you need to let them have a whole b___st feel so they get pleanty of the calorie full fat stuff at the end, just what ive been told


lisa - November 12

christy, my friend said she would keep a wet flannel and wipe it accross her babies head when she starts to go sleepy, keeps her feeding


Christy - November 12

Jamie- my pediatrician and the lactation consultant at the hospital said that you have to feed them every 2-3 hours in order to keep your milk supply up. The more they the feed, the more milk you produce. If you skip feedings, you body will produce less milk in response- it is supply and demand. I was told to wake him up if it was time for feedings, so I am. I just wish it could be more like every 3-4 hours, then I could get a little longer jag of sleep. It also seems that he worse at night. Is 2-4 am some sort of "infant witching hour?" I swear, I'll feed him, lean him up, swaddle him and put him down, and he goes nuts. Then he pees, or poops, then we have to change the diaper, then he wants to eat again, so the cyle begins again for a total of 3-4 hours. The only thing that saved me last night/this AM is that he slept well after his 4 AM feeding on, so I could sleep between those feedings until about noon. I guess we'll see how it goes tonight.


my exact experience - December 1

it's so annoying how nobody tells you how hard and frustrating b___stfeeding is. i am having the EXACT same experience as you and i feel pathetic about it sometimes too, but it's not healthy to feel so down on yourself. i just keep trying and thinking positively, hoping that my son and i will learn together. i have gotten so frustrated to the point of crying myself! i gave him a bottle of formula on 2 occasions, and it helped him quiet down but i felt guilty. i think the bottom line is, do what your instincts tell you-that's what i'm doing. what else can you do??



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