Feeling Bad About C Section

8 Replies
jasmine - May 26

Can anybody tell me how to get over the dissapoint of having a c-section. I would think this would not bother me so much but it does. I can't help but feel that I missed out on something. I always hear that as long as baby and mother, Thank God, are alright that is what counts. But I feel it is a mother's right to birth her baby,not have it surgically removed. Please help me feel better about this.


jena - May 26

jasmine, did you just have a section? it sounds like since you are kind of opposed to them that they did it for medical reasons (or are going to if you haven't had one yet). I most likely have to have one with my twins and while I do feel like I will miss out on the "typical" method of giving birth, it's the pregnancy that we are going through and raising of the children that makes us mothers - not pa__sing a child through your v____al ca___l. So don't let v____al birth define your role as a mother or a person - or make you think you are weak - some babies just need to come out surgically, and as long as they are healthy, they are the biggest miracle and blessing. congratulations!


jasmine - May 27

jena, thank you for that. I have had c-setions in the past and am expeting another soon. I know you are right that it's the raising of children that makes us mothers, thanks for reminding me. I guess I just mad at myself for not being more aware of my options during my earlier pregnancies and deliveries. The funny thing is I don't look at my other kids now and think about their deliveries. It just comes bak to me every pregnancy and delivery. I guess I'm also anxious beause with my last (two years ago) I really wanted to vbac. I tried for a while, I made it to about 5 cm, and then fetal distress (don't all babies go through some kind of fetal distress no matter what the method of birth?) and another c-setion. I wish I really knew what was going on but I just submitted to the dotor as usual. after thst experience I went through ppd really bad and it lasted a while. Another aspect of it is that although I realize the advances of technology, I worry about my baby and my body and complications. Every c-section puts your next pregnancy at risk(that's what I've read), and I think why can't have just have a normal, natural experience. I think that although the first was medically ncessary, the others probably weren't. They were really more just repeat. I didn't know then what I do now so maybe what I'm really feeling is regret. Now I'm always worried about pregnancy and birth in general because of the sections.I know it probably sounds like I'm rambling, thanks for listening and writing back. I just really have no one to talk to about all of this and it feels good to let it out with other mothers like you. I know God will take care of us anyway. Good Luck to you and your twins! Boys, girls or one of each? When are you due? I hope everything goes well!


Elizabeth - May 30

It sucks doesnt it !!I had to have a c section for both of my kids the first one was breech and the second was a month early and breech. With my first one I was depressed for along time over it, I would obsess over my friends labours, asking questions and just wanting to know everything about it. I didnt realize at the time that I was actually depressed about it at all. I thought about NOT having "real" labour and not "really" having a baby for about one year and I mean I thought about that EVERY single day. On her first birthday I ..for some reason stopped thinking about it as much I dont know why it was one year for me but it was. My son came a month early and I didnt know that I was actually in labour he was also breech so it was an emergency C section I didnt feel bad about that happening and I dont really know why. I just wanted to say that YES it really IS horrible when you HAVE to have one but at the end of the day yes sometimes it is better for baby and mother. Try to not be depressed about it your baby is here and do you REALLY want to push a 7 pound child out of your v____a.. try lookin on the bright side ;)


Jill - May 31

Jasmine- I know exactly what you're going through. I had an emergency section with my son and I had a problem with postpartum depression. I don't think it would have been as bad if I hadn't had a c-section. It took me months to come to terms with it and no one around me understood. Oh, I put up the brave face, like the first time my mom saw my scar (one month out) and started crying and telling me she was sorry. I just told her my son was worth all of it and walked away. I never said anything about how I felt I had missed out on something wonderful. I meant what I said, I just didn't say everything I wanted to. Now, two years later, I just told my grandmother everything, and I feel so silly for feeling that way, but I can't stop myself from thinking it. Now that I'm considering VBAC for my next child (yet to be conceived), my mom is flipping out about it, telling me I need to be careful. I just don't understand why people can't respect that I want to PUSH my child into this world, not lay on a cold table, not feeling any of it. All of us who have felt this should really get together and write a book on how to emotionally survive a Cesarean, including emergency cases. I know I needed a book like that.


Elizabeth - May 31

yah a book would be good... I tried to have a vback as well but it just wasnt possible the dr said that I can try to have my next one vbac I will certainly try to if I can.


muneca - May 31

i started to cry at the hospital when they told me i needed one.i was scared of them cutting me and of the spinal.i went into labor at 7 am and i was having back labor and when i got up to use the restroom i wiped and brown blood was on the paper.then i went to the hospital and they told me i was contracting every 4-6 min.they said my baby was too big.well he was 10 lbs 4 oz.he would have tore me up.he would have gone into distress.i thank jesus that he is healthy and strong.i felt a little sad that i didnt do a v____al birth too but i tried to look it this way...god made it so women would suffer when thay have children.v____al births-they suffer during and c-section suffer after.he came from my body so i am his mom.it dosent matter how he came out as long as he did and he is healthy.count your blessings girl!!your probley just having a little post partum depression.i have a little too. im sad that his dad missed his birth but he can make it up by helping me recover.keep your head up!


angie - June 2

Thank you all for your responses. It helps to know I'm not alone.


Joanne - June 29

Jasmine, I had two sections and then had 3 vbacs, so if you are planning on having more children then maybe there is a chance for you to experience a natural birth. I had a great section my first, my second section was an emergency and was terrible, my first vbac was a great experience, and my second wasn't so great my son was 9lbs.



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