20 Replies
Robby - October 27

I did a horribl thing, my husband came from Iraq for a few weeks, and then went back, 2 weeks later i found out I was pregnant and immediatly had an abortion,!!! I don't plan on telling him. I was scared and knew I would be doing this all on my own. I have 2 other children that I have raised pretty much on my own ( except financial aspect), he wasn't even there for their births, first birthdays, etc.... ANyway now I feel horrible, but I can't take it back, i am so depressed... please any advice!!!


... - October 27

I honestly would tell him. He does have a right to know and it would just eat at you if you dont.


JR - October 27

Its ok, hugs.. just follow ur heart...ull be ok..J


LJ - October 28

It's okay. You did what you had to do for yourself and for the children that you already have. When your husband returns you can always have more children if you decide to... but do think about telling him. The question is whether you should tell him while he's in harm's way, or wait until he can be with you again.


........ - October 28



.......... - October 28

I see the poor taste b___ton was used for something other then poor taste, but rather an opposing opinion. Nice.


T - October 28

By telling him you would only be making your conscience feel better. He will feel horrible. I would not tell him and then make sure you don't leave him out of any more major decisions. Think of how he will feel. And you can't do anything to change it. You will lose his trust.


.............. - October 28

So... he doesn't have the right to know the fate of one of his children? Nice. Great, honest relationship you promote there, "T"


j - October 29

Sometimes it's better to bear the burden yourself... You REALLY don't think he tells her EVERY thing in their relationship? Come on... Sometimes things are better left alone and left unsaid. That's not saying they won't have a good relationship. Whatever... is she tells him, by all means tell him AFTER he gets home... To do it now? That's friggin cruel!!!!!


M - October 29

Why are you writing in THIS forum?? Just curious?


T - October 29

I was just trying to spare him the hurt that can't be changed. She made a horrible mistake in the first place. As long as it's not repeated, move on.


Me - October 29

I think it will eat her up if she doesn't tell him. Thats something they should share together. He may be the understanding type too. I mean she has valid points also. Not that I'm saying I'm for abortion...but I dont think she should have to beat up herself alone.


............ - October 29

I just feel that this was a huge decision that she made for both of them, without any of his input, and he has a right, as the father of that child, to know what happened. FURTHER, In my opinion, there is no way you can have a healthy relationship with your spouse, the person you are supposed to be closest to in this world, if you are willing and able to keep this kind of secret. She made the decision. Now she has to live with the consequences.. both ending the life of a child and puting a strain on her relationship. BOTH of these are choises SHE made when she took matters into her own hands. Not telling him spares him the "right now" hurt/anger of what she did, but it also cheapens their relationship, making it just a little fake, based on a lie, and that just isn't OK.


......... - October 29

If your husband has not been there for your other children then you should make sure you don't get pregnant again and have to go through this.I do believe you should tell your husband, so maybe you could be more careful as to not get pregnant again unless you both agree you want another child. Abortion never bothered me until I seen pictures of what happens and its no fair for a little baby to go through that because mommy and daddy messed up. What you have done has already happened and you need to forgive yourself and move on! I wish you the best of luck and lots of prayers.


A - October 29

this really is a sad story . . . . i don't understand. my sis in law's husband is in the navy. he goes out on a submarine for 6-9 months at a time, leaving her and her two sons without a phone call unless the sub surfaces, which sometimes isn't for weeks! the thing is, he wasn't there for either birth of his 3 year old or his 1 year old, i know hes missed b-days and important events. he's not the perfect dad when he's on leave, but it's ok. my sis in law knew this when she married him. isn't this the typcial sacrifice of a army/navy/marine family????


n - October 30

a- that is exactly what i was thinking. surely she knew the sacrifice she was making when she married the military. yes i said military, b/c that is what you do. unfortunatly defending our country comes first...but that is the sacrifice that these families take, and i am thakful for that. i also agree that she needs to be more careful getting pregnant. just b/c you are married doesn't give you the right to be any more careless with s_x and the consequenses. she should tell him, b/c he is the father and deserves to know. but i would wait till he was home, b/c it will do him no good to dwell on it over seas when it is out of his control.


A friend - October 30

Hmmm, Robby, this is a tough one. You can't take it back - no. What has been done, is done. I do agree with some of the ladies that you should tell your husband. If you're not one to keep secrets from your husband, don't start with this one. Although he is far away, keep him close to your heart, and confide in him. Isn't that what you married him for? Isn't he your friend too? This is really between you and him. Don't bother with what any one else says on this forum. I hope you find peace. I will pray for you.



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