Feeling Pressure To Find Out The Sex Of Our Baby

15 Replies
Lori - March 8

Hi Ladies... Congrats on your pregnancies. This is my first, I'm 10 1/2 weeks now. My husband and I don't want to find out the s_x of our baby, yet some of our family members and friends keep telling us that we should find out. Any suggestions? Personal experiences?


Sarah - March 8

I feel a little pressured too. My sister in law found out what the s_x of her twins was and i think it should be kept a surprise! My husband wanted to know until i explained it to him now he wants to wait lol. Tell them and be blunt that you don't want to know its your choice in the end and don't let them tell you that you should be finding out. Sometimes being to the point lets people know that you mean what you say. It will all work out good luck!


tiffani - March 8

I found out with my first 2 and we're planning on baby #3 being a surprise. Everyone we knew had a opinion about whether or not we should find out, but ultimately it was our pregnancy and our decision. (my personal thought is, these people had or will have their chance to do it their way, this is my chance to do it my way) This is only the beginning of unwanted opinions. Wait until you start discussing names. My best advice is to stick to your guns when it comes to finding out the s_x, and don't tell anyone the name you have choosen until the baby arrives and has received his/her name. I let a good friend talk us out of a name for our daughter that I have adored since child hood, all because it reminded him of some s___tty character from a movie. Congratulations on your pregnancy! :o)


aw - March 8

I agree with you not wanting to find out. (That would be cheating, like opening a Christmas present on Easter...). And another thing, if you were to find out and tell people, the next thing would be that they would want to get involved in picking the baby's name as well. And if you do not know the s_x, it's harder for those to get involved. When my brother and SIL were expecting they did not tell anyone either, but I think they knew (they were always looking at each other in a certain way as soon as someboday asked what it would be...), anyway, after a while people stopped asking. Some trivia, I read somewhere that 73% of expecting mothers are predicting the s_x of their baby correctly.


Misty - March 8

Funny thing but you might not really know even if you decide you want to : ) Before my fiance and I had our baby we desperatly wanted to know the s_x of our child. So come 20 weeks the doctor told us we had a little girl. We were so exctied, went out and bought everything pink and pretty and with bows. Had a baby shower for a girl. Picked out the name....then come 30 weeks when the doctor performs the next u/s he sees the b___s and tells us "see that, that is why your having a boy." : ) Apparently "he" was hiding at 20 weeks. I think we will wait this time, for our second. We might as well have waited for the first, it would have saved us bunches of money: )


Meredith - March 8

I think you should do what ever it is you and your husband want to do. Frankly, it's none of their business.


Janis - April 5

It is your decision..my choice to know was so I could buy for the s_x and be prepared..but it is your choice and the excitement of a first just makes it more thrilling..you can buy unis_x clothing and certain items..have the baby shower planned after the baby is born that way the ones who want to know will know just after the baby is born. Most important this is a decision that you and your husband made together and once your family relizies that they will come around..be happy and enjoy your first baby...PS Take lots of pictures..


D - April 5

We have not made an absolute decision on whether or not we want to know since we have a few weeks before we have to say one way or the other... but everyone has been asking since abut 6 weeks! (I guess they think standard ob office technology has advanced a little faster than it has!) I believe it is your decision. In my experience, when I let family and friends talk me into something, I have regrets later. The name thing is a good example - everyone has an idea what the name should be, and we discussed it with others once - and ONCE ONLY! Now, we just make up totally goofy names. It makes them laugh and they usually drop the subject. So, when someone says, "What are you having?" my husband says, "Well, I HOPE its a baby!"


Kim - April 5

Lori, this is your baby and if you don't want to find out, please don't let anyone talk you into it. We do not plan to find out either and your family may find out that it is even more exciting to wait for the big day. There are some great unis_x things out now and there will be plenty of time after the baby is born to buy pink or blue. My brother had a baby last October. They had a boy but since they did everything neutral, they are now ready for baby #2. We were even more excited for the delivery since no one knew the s_x. Since then, he's been showered in blue and it's been perfect.


Carol - April 5

Before my DH and I got pg we said we didn't want to find out, but now I am having a change of heart. I really want to know - I so hope it is a girl! Just going shopping you can see how much easier it is if you know. But DH made a big stink out of it - he stills wants it to be a surprise. He got all tookey when I said how much easier it will be to shop. He said, its a baby - it doesn't care what color its wearing - you can buy pink or blue later. What do ya'll think? I am thinking about asking the DR to tell me, and I will just keep it my little secret....


latriece - June 7

i think that the decision is between you and your husband and that you family should be supportive and accept whatever it may be.


Always wanted to know.. - June 8

I really, really wanted to find out..couldn't wait even. Everybody talks about the 'big surprise', when you don't know the s_x until birth. But in fact, the main fantastic highlight when the baby is born, is not the s_x of the baby but the baby itself. You are just so in awe of your little one, that is what you are focussed on. You have so much to take in and you want to get to know that little person, the gender is not the surprise, the miracle you are holding in your arms, the way he/she looks, feels, smells all that is 'the surprise'. Also, I wanted to see my baby as a person, not just as a thing. I wanted to know more about her or him, not it. When I knew the gender I felt a little bit more like I was getting to know my child.


Becky - June 8

I say that that is up to the parents and not anyone else. If they (you) want to know, then fine, but if not, then everyone else will just have to stick it out. Personally, I used to want to wait, but now I want to find out (well, once we can confirm that I AM preggo, and once the baby is old enough to see). We already have a boy and girl name picked out, and I like the idea of being able to have my child named while carrying him or her. I want to be able to say that Kaylee is doing somersults, or that Evan is playing football inside mommy, without having to do the "he or she" or generalizing "the baby".


Steffeny - July 21

HI! congrats! i'm in my 8th week, my husband and I are very excited to find out what were having..(either way we will be more than happy). But, Its your choice on what you want to do, and if you don't want to find out then don't. Keep it a suprise!!


Sarah E - September 19

Just do whatever you want to do. We found out with are first and are second we didn't. Both were exciting!


tree - September 23

Don' bother, I had 3 ultras with my daughter and they all said she was a boy. I had a blue room. There was nothing better in my pregnancy than that surprise moment.



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