For All Those That Had Scans

4 Replies
emmar - February 17

Just wondered if your partners were in there with you the whole time? My scan is in a couple of weeks and it'll be my first scan (i'll be 12 weeks). As i've worried myself sick about it i've had plenty of time to think and as silly as this may sound, I think i want to go into the scan room on my own and if everything is okay then call my bf in. I know this sounds strange, but if it was bad news i would like to be told on my own rather than have my bf with me who would know how upset i would be and just be so concerned. I don't like people to see me so sad. Do i sound strange? I know he has every right to be in there and i will call him in as soon as everything looks good but i just couldn't cope with him seeing me in such a mess...i think i would also feel responsible that i couldn't carry his child and would hate to see his initial devastation. Okay i know i sound negative, but i just wondered what u all thought? E x


SuzieQ - February 17

I've had my partner with me almost every time I've had a scan. I've had 2 m/c's and he went to every scan with me, and he was a source of support with me when I needed it. I'm pregnant again for a third time, and just had a scan done on monday (7weeks)- I insisted he come with me! He got to see the heartbeat and it was good to know that we're both happy, but still worried about miscarrying. But it was very cool to see the heartbeat and I think it kinda clicked in more for him to see that little beat! Not all men are understanding though, and it must be hard for my dh to see me go through so much - but at least he's with me :)


Deb - February 17

You can do whatever you want. For me, I wanted my DH there when I had my first scan, even if something went wrong. If you really think about it, does it really make a difference if he is there or not? You don't want him to see you so sad, but if something is wrong, it's not like you will be upset for only a minute and then get over it. If there is something wrong it is not your fault (unless of course you are drinking or smoking or something). I think that if you made it to 12 weeks, the chances of you finding out something is wrong is very slim. I would explain to him ahead of time that you are having these anxieties I am sure he will make you feel much better. It is a really great experience to see the baby for the first time together.


kaydenceb - February 18

hi emmar, i had a missed mc at 18 wks 3 yrs ago it was the worst thing in the world my bf was not there it was so defistating knowing i had a baby in there that had died 6 wks previous, he also wishes he was there 2, try not to think bad thoughts, good luck do what your heart is telling you to


Neets - March 1

Hi again Emma - I responded to a previous post of yours. I had my dh with me during my 1st scan & preg which resulted in a m/c. I wanted him to share it all with me, the good & the bad. We can so often get wrapped up in 'our' state of affairs and how it affects us. Of course, everyone's different. We were able to support one another. Also bear in mind that if he were able to see what you see during the u/s (good or bad) it will allow him to totally understand, and “see” the situation. I think you should go in together – think on the positive side, from the outset.



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