How Do I Know What To Do Keep The Baby Or Have An Abortion

113 Replies
Good luck - July 4

The way I see this is that why should the baby have to die? Why does it deserve such a penalty? It did not choose to come into this situation by it's self did it? You are old enough to know what could have happend with having s_x. Do you want to live with the knowing that you killed an innocent angel for no reason? It's easy, if you don't want babies, have your tubes tied or no s_x or use protection, there are so many options.But killing a baby for no reason is not. If it was a rape baby or a crack baby, or if the baby was going to die anyways, or if you were in harm, that would be a differant story. Step up to the plate and be a good parent, nothing else comes close to the feeling.I really don't know why people want to have abortions just for their convience.You aren't women or man enough to have a baby, then don't take the chance. You may be lost right now, but at least you have a man by your side, there are so many women who are left to deal with it by themselves. At least you got yourself a responsible man, many wish they would be in your shoes now.Please make the right choice.Your baby is depending on you.It really is.


Bea - July 6

Hey Kansas, I understand completely what you are going through. I am going through the same thing. I'm not sure what my boyfriend will say when I tell him I'm pregnant - I have yet to tell him. I'm not going to say either way what I think you should do, because it is a very personal decision. Sit down with your boyfriend, and seriously see what he would prefer you to do, but in the end know that it is YOUR decision to make! From what I understand, for the Abortion Pill - you should be less then 9 weeks pregnant (they will do an ultra-sound before proceding) **Warning - most women have to go back and have the surgical abortion aferwards anyway because of complications ETC. With surgical abortions , they can be done up to and into your 2nd trimester, but the longer you wait the more developed the baby will be, and personally the harder the decision will be because of this. I thought you could use some facts about abortion - there is a website that expands the procedure etc - REMEMBER , it is your choice - don't let someone else make it for you. Good luck !


Kate - July 7

I've had two abortions. One surgical and one with the abortion pill. I don't regret them one bit. One was actually with my current fiance and we simply weren't stable financially and we hadn't traveled to all of the places we wanted to travel to and be young and in love for a while. So, we did. We traveled all over America and Europe, saw the world, lived in other countries and had the most romantic amazing time of our young lives. We're getting married in October and will most likely have kids very soon after, without resentment because we've done everything and been everywhere. We can devote our lives to them with pleasure, because that is the next step! Plus we STILL have a ton of time to have them! My point is, fall in love, see the world and experience the birth of your children together for the first time ( Nobody wants to date a single mother).


Becky - July 7

Kate, You will now when you get pregant again what you really did... Killed your babies!! I just lost my baby and I am so sad, it wasn't a planned pregnancy either and I also wanted to travel, but I mean, I had a life inside of me, my own child! Now that I lost it I am not happy that I will be able to travel and do stuff.. I would give up anything if I could have my baby inside of me again.


lynn - July 10

You are very blessed to be able to bear a child there are plenty of women out there that can't.Please whatever you do don't get an abortion.What if you can't have anymore children.


Patty - July 14

I ended a pregnancy a few years ago and was ok with it at the time and felt it "needed to be done" becaue of my circ_mstances. Now, I regret my decision, but it is too late. I will forever wonder what that baby would have looked like, felt like, smelled like and so on. did it feel it when I allowed its life to be taken? I will always be paying for my choice. The baby I could have had didnt get a choice. PLEASE dont make a mistake like I did. It could haunt you for the rest of your life. If you really dont want to keep the baby, let someone adopt it!


SaRaH - July 14

Patty thanks for sharing ur story! It takes alot to be ok with it and talk about it! I hope u have been forgiven and u find peace within urself! GOD BLESS U! :}


Shawn - July 17

I would in every way, shape and form protest you having the abortion! I know because I did it when I thought there was nothing else I could do and have achingly regreted it every single day since! To me, it should not even be an option! It would, undoubtedly, be the most horrific and regretful experience in your life! Please don't abort! Adoption is always an option!!!


brucen - July 19

I'm glad both Patty and Kate shared their stories, once again proving that just because something is right for you, the individual, does not make it right for everyone else. Since no one else seems to think Kate made and adult decision based on what she believed she was and was not capable of doing... Kate: It takes alot to be ok with it and talk about it! It sounds as if you have found peace within yourself!


Jamie - July 22

ADOPTION! ADOPTION! ADOPTION! If your choice is not to raise your child, your choice does not have to be to kill your child! If there is any part of you that is questioning killing your baby (and there is) look at all the opitions. You CAN'T EVER go back! Talk to someone close or to a counselor. There are lots of places that can help! God bless and good luck!


Nicole - July 22

Kate, after reading your entry and then looking at my children all I have to say is I am sorry. I can't imagine putting any piece of paper or any vaction I haven't taken over my own flesh and blood. My children are priceless. I am 6 weeks pregnant... 6 WEEKS... and my baby's heart has already begun to beat. I could never drown one of my children the bath tub or end their life in anyway (nor is it legal) how were you able to kill yours? I hope your child was not the one God entend to cure AIDS or something. I am glad you can live with yourself since your children can't!


Kay - July 22

Personaly, I wouldn't recomend having an abortion after 3 months of pregnacy, but I actually wouldn't recomend abortion at all unless neccesary for the baby's sake, where as if any deseases or abnormalities were to occur. Furthermore, comming from a person who has unfortunately experienced abortion, you will never be the same again and will regret the decesion. It is nice to have the father of your baby in the picture since this completes the family circle. Unfortunately that not always beeing the case, how many single mothers aren't out there struggling but making it happen, therefore you can too. Although by the sounds of it I don't think this would be the case here, I believe that comming from his insecurities towards the idea of it, this is only temporary and he will stick around but mainly as a father figure I can't determine wether or not he would as your husband, hopefully he will. Good luck!


brittany - July 28

after 3 months


Cathy - July 29

Have the baby, not an abortion. You don't have to keep the baby if you are not parent material. There are so many good families who want to adopt a precious baby. The situation is the baby is alive and deserves a chance to stay that way. Good luck.


Kristin - July 29

Kansas-- Do what's right for you--only you can make that decision. I had an abortion 2 years ago, and while I do sometimes feel sad about it, I know it was the right thing to do for me at the time. I am about 6 weeks along now and I know I wouldn't make the same decision this time, but I am older and in a different place. What I did was not bad or wrong. I did not "kill" my baby--I chose to terminate a pregnancy that was not yet a living person that could survive outside of my body. So don't think of yourself as a murderer, as some people might try and claim that you are. It's just not true--not in my opinion, and I consider myself to be an intelligent, spiritual, and sensible woman. A lot of people on this board are desperate for children, and it's understandable that they are very sensitive about this subject--imagine that all you've ever wanted in life was to be a professional singer, and after years of trying and failing, you find out that your best friend was offered a record contract and turned it down. It's not easy to step out of our own shoes and look at someone else's life objectively when it hits so close to home. That being said, please know that there are lots of people out there who CAN give you good advice based on your situation. Visit those websites--not sure if you're allowed to hyperlink here, but try Planned Parenthood...they're very good, offering informative information that aims to help you out when you're lost, as you probably are. Every woman is different. Do not base your decision on the emotional response of someone else. That's not to say those who are anti-abortion are wrong--they are just coming from a distinct belief system that you don't necessarily have to adhere to. If you want to talk more, let me know. Good luck and remember, this is your choice, and no one else's. No one should ever judge you.


Kristin - July 29

And also? I think, while everyone is ent_tled to their opinion, it is MY opinion that a lot of the women who have responded to this should be ashamed of themselves. A young woman has come here during a difficult time, and you are using words like "murder," "kill," etc. If you are such a compa__sionate person, where is your compa__sion for this woman? Why must it all go to the fetus? Is she any less important than the embryo she is carrying? Also, adoption is not always a realistic answer. Do you even know, or care, how many unwanted babies there are in the United States? Or are you up so far on your high horse that all you can see is Cloud 9? Is it really so much better to have a baby that no one else will want, that will be raised by strangers who don't love it, only to have it grow up alone and uncared for? Do you know how often these cases occur, when those "saved" babies grow to take lives themselves? Life is not a bowl of cherries--and that's cliche because it's true. I respect everyone's right to their opinion, but I have to say that I am shocked at how judgemental many of you are. I think it's sad that we can't step out of our own shoes to take the time to comfort our sisters in pain.



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