Just Have To Vent A Little

6 Replies
Lynn - May 9

O.K., my mom ALWAYS does a really big Thanksgiving dinner.. for like 30 or 40 family members. She's been doing it for YEARS... Well, I'm due on Nov 29 & she says she's not going to do Thanksgiving dinner this year because she needs to be "available" in case I go into labor. I made it quite clear that 1st time pregnancies labor can be HOURS... like 18, 24 some women even 72 hours long & also made it quite clear that she won't be in the delivery room with me either. Is it really necessary for people to come to the hospital when you go & sit around & wait? Even after the baby is born, isn't there still a few hours where they're cleaning up the baby, cleaning up you, giving you ice packs, you're trying to br___tfeed for the first time all that stuff where you need things to be kinda "private" and not be bothered with visitors? (By the way, I'm adopted, so my mom has never been through Labor & delivery & has no idea what it is like & in case you can't tell, we aren't all that close to begin with). I originally hadn't even planned on calling them until after the baby is born & everything. Now it seems like she wants me to call her as soon as I go into labor, even if it's at 2 am... & now I'm kinda upset that she's not doing Thanksgiving dinner... We alternate Thanksgivings with my husband's family & I see family at Thanksgiving that I don't see for the whole next year (unless there is a wedding or funeral) so now it will be 3 years that I will go without seeing everyone ( last year was at my husband's family & next year will be too).

 

to whaaat ?!?! - May 9

Just be happy and greatful that you have someone that wants to be involved in the whole process. It only means she loves you and cares about you very much, and Thanksgiving will happen again next year ! Count your lucky stars because there are alot of women out there who are doing this ALONE !

 

ooopsy - May 9

ooops ... to Lynn

 

Heidi - May 9

Yes you're lucky your mom wants to be a big part of your delivery. If she wants to cancel dinner, let her. I'd want my mom there at least in the waiting room for me and in and out of the delivery room on occa__sion. Your labor may be long so it'll be nice to have her there with you. Or it may go quick!

 

Liz - May 9

Lynn, I think it is legitimate that you are sad about missing your family at Thanksgiving. Have you told your mother that exact reason for wanting her to have the dinner? I suspect that you think your mother's plans to be at the delivery are motivated by something other than just wanting to be loving and supportive. Otherwise you wouldn't be so annoyed, right? That's always a tough issue, though, regardless of the intentions. I think a lot of women have this problem where they want the labor to go a certain way, but they also feel the need to consider the feelings of family members. My husband and I really wanted to have a few days alone with the baby after coming home from the hospital but my parents are coming in from out of state as soon as I go into labor. In our case, we decided to let them come right away and we are just going to ask for a few hours alone when we first come home from the hospital.

 

Kathy - May 9

Lynn- I totally understand. I had had my son on thanksgiving 2000. I didn't want anyone there I told everyone to stay home and I would call them when the baby was born. Did it p__s some people off.. yes. But I wanted to concentrate on what was going on that day and have it be a very special time between me and my husband. I had some visitors but they knew I didn't want someone in my face and I didn't want them waiting in the waiting room for hours. You still have time she might change her mind about dinner. But remember you have to do what is best for you!!

 

To lynn - May 9

You are so lucky to have your mom care so much about you. I wish I had a mom who care. Just try to think this over before talking to your mom. You may need her.

 

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