Lazy Boyfriend

22 Replies
kendriak - March 18

Hi ladies. I am 27 years old and my bf is 23. We just recently found out that I am pregnant and I should be excited but I am not. My bf is really irresponsible. He attends college and has a desk job on campus. He complains that I get to sleep later than he does when its only a 2 or 3 hour difference. He comes home from school and takes a nap and play video games while I cook dinner and clean up behind my 3 children. His video game and himself is all that matters to him but I love him. To top it off he has tried to cheat on me twice since the pregnancy news. I can't be in this much stress while its so early in my pregnancy but I want my baby to have his or her father. Please ladies give me some advice.


mjvdec01 - March 18

Sounds like and awful position to be in. I have to be honest and say that a 23 year old that complains that his pregnant girlfriend gets to sleep later than him, and plays video games all the time does not seem very mature. Why do you cater to him? Why does he live with you? How is it that he tried to cheat on you? Did you catch him before he did the deed with someone else. It really doesn't seem like this guy (boy) is very interested in being a responsible parental figure. I am really sorry, this is probably not what you want to hear, but if I had to 'keep' my husband from cheating on me then I would kick him to the curb and take half his money and the house. Fortunately I have myself a wonderful man who shares responsiblities and adores me and our two year old. I am also 21 weeks 5 days pregnant and he does everything he can to make things as easy for me as he possibly can, not to mention he periodically surprises me with a full day at the spa. Are you sure you want this guy? I really believe that whatever your situation there is a prince charming out there for every woman, you just have to look.


llukenjess - March 18

How can you TRY to cheat on someone? If he has TRIED i'm sure he has completed before and you just don't know about it. I can identify with you about the lazyness...once it sinks in he will get better...i hope, but hun there are so many other men out there that will help you zround the house and be more respectful about you needing your sleep and not stressing you out...anddd someone who will be faithfull!! GL to you


kendriak - March 18

When I say that he tried to cheat I mean that I have found text messages in his phone. The first time I saw messages where the girl was asking him if he still wanted to marry her and was she still the love of his life and he responded yes. I called the girl and ended up talking to her older brother to find out that she was only 15. The second time was last week when I found text messages he was sending another girl and they were making lunch date plans. I work so hard to make a home for him and my kids. He doesn't understand that I am tired and sick 95% of the time. I can't get him to help me do much around the house unless I am mad at him...then he is trying hard to kiss my a__s. He says the reason he was making lunch dates with the other girl is because I have a bad att_tude and it upsets him so he needed someone to talk to. He can't even talk to me about how he feels so how can he talk to a woman who doesn't know him at all?


gabby509 - March 18

Hunny, it sounds like you actually have 4 kids. Get rid of his immature lazy a__s. And like llukenjess said, if he has supposedly tried to cheat, then he has most likely succeeded before. You, your baby, and your 3 kids deserve much better.


kendriak - March 18

I agree. I tell him all of the time that he acts like he's 5 (2+3) instead of 23. He takes it as a joke. He thinks that its funny and takes pride in it. I feel like he doesn't think that I will leave him....almost like I need him, which in a sense I do but I don't let him know that. He only contribute $200 a month to the house while I put in at least $700. I think it would be better if I moved on my own.


Jezebel - March 18

a 15 year old?? thats very 'dateline to catch a preditorish' this guy sounds like a loser. you need an adult, a partner in life, not another child. this man is bleeding you dry. it just sucks that you have to go through this when pregnant. :(


Patience2008 - March 18

I have to agree with everyone else. You may love him but as soon as you get rid of him you will see how much better life is without someone like that to drag it down. He can still be your childs father without being you bf. If he is this bad he probably will not stick around after the baby is born anyways.


joeby321 - March 18

Hi Kendriak.. you, your unborn baby and your other children deserve so much better than what your boyfriend is willing to give at this point. I understand how hard it is to be alone during this time in your life and you want to do the right thing by keeping him in his childs life, but remember if he does not want a child he won't be a good role model and he may end up resenting you and the baby in the long run. Also any man that even considers meeting with other women while his g/f is pregnant with his child and sends text messages to little girls about love and marriage, is not going to grow up anytime soon. Remember men mature 5 years slower than women do. I know it is going to be hard but you don't need his cheating, lying b___t around you and your babies. Protect yourself, you can do it. You are a strong single Mom of 3 already and you have us if you need to talk to someone. Good luck with your decision and keep us updated!


kendriak - March 18

I know that he is a loser and I shouldn't have to deal with it being 10 weeks pregnant. I am too nice and kind hearted. When I try to break up with him he starts talking about killing himself and saying how I'd be better off if he was dead. I spoke with his older sister about that issue and she informed me that its just an attention getter. Now that I sit back and watch, I see that it is and now I just feel stupid for believing that he'd hurt himself if I left. I cramp all day everyday. I am not sure if its normal or I'm stressing myself too much. My blood pressure is up to 128/95(I'm not sure if thats normal either).


llukenjess - March 18

Oh man...i had someone do the same thing to me...threaten to kill themselves...tell him that it is not fair for him to be putting HIS life in YOUR hands...if he was going to kill himself he would do it and not talk about it...that is a mother, when i was going through the same thing, told me to tell him to do it...go ahead kill yourself...let him know that HE is making the desicion to take his life for a girl, and YOU are making YOUR decision to remove him from your life for YOUR children and YOUR unborn child...there are more important things in life than at 23 yr old going after a 15 yr old. like joeby said you are a STRONG WOMAN!! you have the power to make your own possibilities...and right now you are giving him the power and letting him decide your life!!


kendriak - March 18

I have considered doing that....LOL But the way I am going to do it is I'm gonna hold the knife in one hand and a bottle of pills in the other and ask him which method does he prefer to use....I know its bad but I don't think he'll do it. Like when I get mad and leave he text me saying that he's gonna kill himself. If that was the case why is he still alive when I come back. LOL Thank you guys so much for being encouraging and listening. I am not sure if you read in my other thread called "Jealous Friend" but I tried to talk to my best friend about this and she said that she was tired of hearing about me being pregnant and how immature he is so I need to go have an abortion. She is very jealous. So I feel so alone in this. Keep the advice coming.


homeworkwithheather - March 18

ummm...he was texting a 15 year that not enough to get rid of him? If he is texting a 15 year old, then he probably shouldn't be trusted around your other kids...sorry...but that is just gross...


kendriak - March 18

I definately agree with that, Heather. He lied to me about him know how old she was. He said that she said that she was 18. But her mother told me that she has told him on several occasions that she was only 14 or 15 and to leave her alone. I guess he didn't care since he says that he loved her.


stefkay - March 18

Oh lord girl, run for your life from this dude!!!! And telling you he'd kill himself if you left him, etc. is just another form of abuse, emotional abuse so yes you would do much much better on your own. I know from experience what it's like to take care of an immature man and it only wastes a lot of precious time in YOUR life. You are still in your 20s! Good luck...


mjvdec01 - March 18

Are you going to tell him to leave? If he only contributes $200 a month to the househild expenses then I am sure you can make it on your own. If you need help getting him out, can you call your dad, an uncle or do you have a brother to be there with you. Guys can act pretty sketchy in situations like that. Maybe it would be best if you had a male family member there with you when you tell him to leave.


kendriak - March 19

I just wanted to update you ladies on the situation in the past 24 hours. He messaged me yesterday saying that he'd move out in May, which was ok with me. But he came home from work and said that he was packing his stuff that day and going to live with a friend. He abandoned us with only $6 to last me until April 1st. He didn't ask if the kids needed diapers or if we needed money to do laundry considering that diapers are low and all of mine and the kids clothes are dirty. If my kids needed to go to the emergency room I can't take them due to lack of gas in my car. I never once asked him to leave, I just asked him to grow up and be a man. Well the funny part is that he thinks that he's leaving for a little while then he's gonna come back later and I'll welcome him with open arms......HAHAHAH Poor delusional man. LOL



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