8 Replies
Ryan - December 7

I am having a real hard time I m/c two days ago and than this morning at work this woman comes in and for some reason feels the need to share her life story she is pregnant with her 7th child 5 of them are taken away by cps the 6th was born addicted to crack and the dad has custody ......and the clecher she stills smokes crack and cigarettes i wanted scream i just wonder why it doesn't make sense to me..........i had to leave work i am at a loss for words sometimes i feel like why go on i have worked hard my whole life and i know i am not perfect but i am a good person what did i do to loose my baby


Claire - December 7

Dear Ryan, First I want to rea__sure you, you did nothing wrong, I'm sure you're great, don't try and seek fault in yourself, on the contrary now its time to take care, try and pamper and spoil yourself, you deserve it. Regarding, the loss of your baby, my heart feels and goes out to you, and only wish you the best, a suggestion on how to look at it, u have to know, probably the child was not going to be able to live a normal life or could have been handicapped, therefore nature rejects it before, which honestly saves you and the child on longterm agony and hurt. It hurts now for you, but hopefully you'll get pregnant again soon with a healthy child, try to look at it that way, you wouldn't want to see your child suffer, especially after you carry it for so long, get some rest, maybe dont go to work, if it means to hear stupid stuff, get back to yourself first, and please keep the hope up, hopefully all will work out sooner than you think, Good Luck, In thoughts with you Claire


Jenn - December 7

Ryan - My heart aches for you. I suffered a m/c three weeks ago, and was still in the bed crying two days afterwards. You're doing well to be up and in the office already. I'm not an expert by any means, but I know that it is ok to have a hard time for a week or so. It's ok to mourn and to hurt. I still have a really sad heart and am mourning the loss of my first pregnancy - but it gets easier every day. Bad things happen to good people, and God doesn't punish. That's something that I've had to come to terms with. The thing that helped me most was to realize that God has a purpose for each one of us. He knew your baby in the womb, knew it when it was conceived in love, and HIS purpose for your child did not involve a life on earth. We just have to accept that and feel comfort in knowing that baby's come in God's time, not ours. So, this had nothing to do with you or anything within your control. Your m/c may have been a gift for your baby and somehow for you. Give yourself sometime and I promise it'll get easier. I'll be thinking about and praying for you.


Megan - December 7

Ryan, It certainly isn't fair. You're doing the right thing by letting it out. You have a right to be upset, confused, and angry, and any other emotion that you want. I'm so sorry that you have to go through this, and also sorry that there are insensitive people who don't realize how precious life is. Hugs from afar.


ryan - December 7

Thanks everyone - it feels good to let it out I ended up leaving work I thought i could handle going back so early but guess i wasn't ready i just hate sitting home crying everyhting on tv is baby baby baby nothing left to clean -- so i tried work Thanks!! its nice to ahve people to talk to


m - December 8

Ryan, I am so so so sorry for your loss. I know exactly how you feel. I recently had 2 miscarriages in a row. I got in a hurry after the first one, didn't let my body go through a full cycle to heal, and so I lost the 2nd one, too. It is devastating, I know. It takes time to get over, but it does get easier. It has been nearly 2 months since my 2nd one, and I still find myself having days where I just have to have a good cry over it. Miscarriage comes with all kinds of emotions. The hardest one for me is the fear of having another one (mc). But there is always good to come. You just have to keep that in mind. And about the insensitiviy, I can absolutely relate. I am a high school teacher, and the week after my 2nd miscarriage, this 11th grade girl asked when I was due. I said I lost it. She said (keep in mind she is 6 months pregnant), "Oh, well I didn't even want to be pregnant, but it just happened." For the first time, I wanted to slap a student. I thought, "You insensitive little b___h, thanks for rubbing it in that you are carrying a child you don't want, and I've lost 2 that I so desperately wanted!"---- Ryan, just give yourself time to heal, mentally and physically. You will be ok. Best of luck to you!


rue - December 10

Hey Ryan, I'm really sorry to hear about your loss. I mc about six months ago. What really helped me was knowing the science behind it. You probably know this already. Somewhere between 20-50% of all pregnancy end up in miscarriage. This is nature's way of protecting humankind. Most mc's occur because of a genetic problem- something isn't right in the dna code. Should this pregnancy go to term there'd be some horrible birth defects, mutations etc. coming into the world. For me, when I thought of that, I realized the circ_mstances weren't right for that pregnancy. aka the pregnancy wasn't meant to be. That doesn't mean the next one won't be perfectly right. In fact, the risk of mc does NOT go up after the first one. Give yourself a break- you did nothing to lose your baby. You were just had one of those 20-50% (huge number) of pregnancies that weren't meant to happen


browneye - August 31

i am bleed really heavy and i feel sick and im craming bad , what should i do ? im 39 and i had my tubs tried about 8 yrs and husband pa__saway about 1 yr and i have this boyfriend now for 7 mo, could i be how could i be haveing a misscarried


cATHY - August 31

Browneye are you pregnant or are you asking if you could be? If you are pregnant and having the cramping and bleeding call your ob or go directly to the er.



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