Need Some Advice Desperatly

10 Replies
elk - January 24

Hi im 19 and 9 weeks pregnant my partner does n't want me to keep the baby but I do I have tryed telling him but all he is concerened about his him and how it will affect his life. He wants me to have an abortion and I have a appointment this wed I really don't want to do it can anyone give me any advice


no name - January 24

I was 18 the first time i got pregnant i was with my boyfriend for 2 years and i went through with the abortion. I regreted for a long time and even tried to commit suicide over it. I was 21 when we got pregnant again and again all he could think of was himself and wanted again for me to have an abortion. THat time i stood my ground and kept my child. He was the best thing that could have happened to me. He is now almost 8 years old, my old boyfriend he flunked out of college and still lives with his mother he is no 35 years old and doesn't see his son. I am have no college and started with a company as a receptionist after six months i was promoted to the operations manager where i have been for 7.5 years. I got married last year and my husband adopted my son. We got pregnant and lost a child, and now are pregnant again. I guess what i have to say is that everything happens for a reason, and to me the best thing god ever blessed me with was my son. It takes a strong person to be a single mom, and it sounds like you are strong enough. Family goes a long way then men in your life come and go and you will know when the right one comes along. He has no clue what you would be going through, as you don't either. I can only tell you my experienc and hope that it helps you. If you don't want to do it, don't because you will regret it and it is something you can never get back. I wouldn't lie and tell you that being a single mother is easy, but to me it was much easier than the abortion. I hope that this helps. Good luck!!!


lilli - January 24

u know what gurly i wouldnt u will so regret it man if he layed there and got u pregnant than he should be a man , there are so many single mothers out there doing a great job my mom is 36 , 16 when she got pregnant with me 18 with my brother and now my sister s four of us all by herself and we all came out fine healthy im 19 married and expecting also i wuldnt regret it for anything. Plus hes not gonna be the one changing diapers and feeding the baby anyways u will.


lilli - January 24

me again plus abortins can be dangerous something can go wrong and u would probably never again be able to conceive when ur really ready to have a bundle of joy


kat - January 24

please start by cancelling your appointment! you said you want the baby and dont want an abortion so dont do it,if you feel like this now you will regret it for the rest of your life,i know someone who is on anti-depressants because of abortion 17 years ago.let us know how you get on,and dont let him talk you into something you dont want to do.


kat - January 24

lilli is so right about possibly not being able to concieve again,no man is worth risking the chance of never being a mother


michelle - January 25

DON'T DO IT! not for anyone, but for you, and i can see, this would NOT be for you! i was 18 when i got pregnant, and was on college break. my boyfriend i was w/ since 14, was extrememly abusive in more ways then i can tell you, and this baby was conceived by him raping me! when i got pregnant and he found out, he tried wrestling me to the clinic. my parents, cut me off from everything, money, so no more college, support, they wouldn't speak to me, or support me, unless i had the abortion. my dad made the appt, and after visiting a birthright clinic, and seeing a movie on abortion, just disgusting, i quickly went from pro-choice, to pro-life, and KNEW i'd keep the baby no matter what! you should see someone like that. 10 years later me and my counselor there are still great friends. anyway, i was very well off, financially from my family, and suddenly was faced with having nothing. i left my cushy life for the baby. i lost all my friends, and my college education. i was out on the street, and ended up in a homeless shelter, where i could never have imagined being in, in my life! my boyfriend was stalking me about an abortion, and then about harming me to miscarry, it was awful. he came around in the end, and was happy, as they all do, and yours will to, though i really didn't want him there, as he was a very scarey man. through time, it was this child that saved my life, cause my fear for keeping my baby safe, was the only thing that gave me the courage to get away, and i did! i survived through all of that, and lost everything, to have my baby, and i'll tell you, i would NOT have done anything differently! you will not regret keeping your child, and believe me, i was just as confused and scared, as you are now. do what you want to do in your heart! if an abortion is just to please him, or anyone else, you will be full of regret for the rest of your life. you are stronger then that, believe me, you can do this, and if you need any help, iam here and on your side, not to judge you, no matter what you do, but to help, and be your friend! ((big hugs to you)) michelle


Berly - January 25

you know ladies it sickens me to think that a man no excuse me a boy can make a baby and have the gul to ask for an abortion. I am 21 and my bf is 25 he is adopted and he is totaly against abortions where as in the begining of our relationship I was not now 6 weeks into our pregnancy I realize none of this would be happening in my life if HIS biological mother had aborted him. This is a life hun enjoy it.


kat - January 25

elk what have you decided to do,its wed tomorrow so let us know how you are?


cathy - January 25

Elk, I was really concerned after reading your post. An abortion is a very big thing that shouldn't be decided by someone telling you what to do, and that includes the father. Please don't go through with it, you said that you didn't want to. Go to a planned parenthood or some other place that has some counsling on this before you make a decision you may regret for the rest of your life. You are young, adn I know that raising a child will be difficult but it can be worth it in so many ways. Even if you decide that you can't raise a child, there are other options, like adoption. There are many woman that cannot have a child and would give anything to adopt and love yours. I really don't want to preach to you, I just don't want you to make a mistake because of some boy. I have been there. When I was 19 I was pregnant as well, and the first words out of my boyfriends mouth was abortion...well, it didn't have to go that far when I told him I wasn't going to do that, he took care of it details, just say that I am now 32 and still have no child. Please talk to your family, your pastor, a friend, or even a counselor before you make this life chainging decision. My thoughts and prayers are with you.


Cathy - January 28

Elk, I've been sitting here wondering how you are doing and if you had made a decision. Please know that whatever your decision, we will be here for you, we care about you. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Cathy



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