Planned Pregnancy Mixed Feelings Scared

17 Replies
MLG - October 15

I am 35 and have wanted to be pregnant for some time. I am now 9 weeks and feeling mixed emotions. I'm afraid of all the changes that a baby will bring, that I won't be a good mom, that the baby won't be healthy. I sometimes wish it would just go away. Then I feel guilty. I'm hoping it's hormonal. Anyone else have doubts and fears?


amy - October 15

I feel the same but it comes and goes i always worry that the baby wont be healthy it make me sick i try not to think about it but at night its worse i can't fall a sleep well good luck i hope you feel better soon


Nicole - October 15

I'm feeling a little mixed as well. I'm a therapist and work with children with developmental delays and progressive illnesses. So of course I'm terrified that my baby may have "challenges". I also feel like I want to still be selfish and come and go as I please and go on trips ect. Then I see my friends with their babies and it seems all worth while. I guess we just have to keep thinking of that. Good luck.


stasia - October 16

Hi MLG. I feel the exact same way so don't feel bad! I am about 9 wks also and although this was a planned pregnancy, I can't seem to remember why I wanted it! I have a lot of mixed emotions, all similiar to yours. Everyone tells me it's hormones and to just hang in there. If you would like to talk more and offer a little support for eachother feel free to email me at Take care and hang in there


Ronda - October 16

Oh my god I can totally relate to how u feel. My husband and I wanted this pregnancy and now that I am pregnant I am really freaked out. Crying all the time just feel like I am trapped I hear it is normal, but oh my god it feels so abnornal. I have a fear of not haveing love for my child and wanting to run away from everyone. I wish I had a pregnant friend to go threw this with. please email me


preg - October 17

I can relate!! My whole life I have wanted to be a mom. I am in my 30s and happily married. I have gotten to where I want to be careerwise and we planned this pregnancy, yet some days I experienced such overwhelming fear, anxiety and sadness. Actually I should say some hours. My mood changes/changed often. Lately, I have a sense of calm and happiness, but a week or two ago I thought I might be depressed. A great book to read is Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy. I felt less neurotic and more normal after I read it. It's Bridget Jones Diary for pregnant women!


mp - October 18

I am also 35 and wanted this to happen but am terrified too! I've spent the last year wearing down my husband's fears (he's younger, 31) and getting him on board the baby bus. Now I'm in my 8th week and he is dealing with it better than me. Don't know how your childhood was but my parents were divorced when i was 10 after years of a semi-open marriage and lots of pain for me and my brother so i didn't grow up with great ideas about parenthood. i've also always been a sort of commitment dodger so it's hard to think of devoting my existence to someone else's needs and giving up my independence. That said, I think this is what life is ultimately about and I'm going to embrace it. We have lots of time to get ready and by the end I'm sure all of the hormones will kick in. Just don't read Lionel Shriver's book - We've got to talk about Kevin, or you may think twice!!! It's a form of birth control, basically.


Susanne - November 1

It's nice to see I'm normal. I'm 35 and considered high risk, because of my age. I've grown up with a sister with disabilities (she is adopted) and I'm terrified. I have been offered an amnio, but what the hell is that good for? What should I do?? Am I crazy. I have moments of joy, then true moments of terror. We want this baby.I also have idiots around me that can't wait to tell me that I need to get thru the first trimester before celebrating. email if you have anything to help.


mp - November 2

i don't think it's crazy to wait a little while before celebrating. I miscarried in week 9. :(


nadine - November 2

At last.....normal people! I too am 35 with a younger husband. Successful career and have really enjoyed my boozy irresponsible me, me, me life. My pregnancy is planned but I am terrified. Just ignoring the doom-mongers that life stops after a baby as I reckon these individuals may not have had much of a life before baby!


Susanne - November 2

You go Nadine. I think we are on the same page totally. Congrads for you, how far along are you???


Ashley - November 2

Ok, I'm in my second trimester, and I'm 23 and I've only been married 16 months. That said, I've been where you guys are. As much as I have really wanted this baby since even before I found out, there were times I said mean things to hubby and told this child it was my blessing/curse and wanting it all to go away, then dealing with the guilt afterwards . . . . just making it thru the first trimester helps SO MUCH, guys!!!!!! It's when you can feel it kick all over that I really, really started to bond with this little person inside and calm down about what's ahead. I think 9 months is really important just to deal with the mental issues of pregnancy! Hang in there and I hope this helps a little. :)


Ca__sie - November 2

Ashley is right. We need these 9 months to figure things out and try to get prepared. I'm 34 weeks now and am still trying to mentally prepare. I wasn't much of a party girl before pregnancy, but I know there are still lots of things that will be forever changed (are already changed)... but the changes will so good and our lifestyles will be different in a wonderful way. Also, being a mom does not mean our fun ends. When the time is right, find a good babysitter and make time for yourself on a regular basis. A happy mom makes a happy child.


nadine - November 2

Hi susanne I am 10 weeks along.....I can really relate to lots of the comments on this page. I have written to a few people with email addresses. I am starting to figure out that lots of people want to be a mother but at same time what to remain themsleves. I THINK IT IS POSSIBLE


Susanne - November 2

You are right Nadine. I have a good friend that balances really well. She has her career, is still social, and is a great mom. I don't know if I'll be working after I have the baby. But I know I need my "financial meeting" time. (that's what my girlfriends call a happy hour) :)


TM - November 6

I am 29 years old and in 8th week of planned first pregnancy.I think it is normal to have feelings of fear, worry, etc. The hormonal changes alone are bad enough. Then you worry about the next few months and your baby and the life changes/adjustments that are going to take place. My thinking is that I know it is all not going to be easy, and motherhood is probably the hardest job I will ever have. But I think that anything that is wonderful and meaningful does not come easy, it is something you have to put your heart and soul into and work hard at everyday to enjoy. Then it will all be worth it! Good luck to all and take care!


Melissa - November 7

You can't help what you are feeling but try as best you can to relax and enjoy it - if all goes well, think of the time you wasted stressing about something that never happened. I was so excited when pregnant and then when bubby was 5 days old and I was leaving the hospital I cried all the way home thinking we weren't good enough for him and that he deserved more. You'll be a great mum - the fact that you are worried about it early means that you will be! Best of luck with it!



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