Please Help Really Bad Bad Bad Day

7 Replies
margie - February 8

oh girls..i am having a horrible day today. i had a huge fight with my boyfriend..i mean HUGE, bigger than I've ever had with him ever..reeeally bad and we never used to fight before I got pregnant. Now though I have this horrible sharp pain in my lower back since then...please let this just be coincidence!!! I mean, can this kind of thing actually cause a miscarriage? I know it's usually a chromosome problem and something you can't help. But I told my sister now about it and the pain and she said it sounds like contractions and probably my fault for getting too upset. :(


ginger6363 - February 8

oh, margie. I don't know the answer to your question, but I sure hope that's not the case! I'm sorry to intrude, but have you asked your bf to cut you a break on the arguing---I mean your PG for crying out loud, you don't need this stress right now! Like I said before: I do know that when I overextend myself or have a long day, my lower back hurts. Lay down and take it easy!


margie - February 8

You're right Ginger...I did have back pain yesterday as well....I guess maybe it could just be coincidence that it's happening again right after that, I suppose if its a muscle spasm then stress can totally aggravate that, I'm just letting my imagination get away with me I suppose which is not a good idea. Well I agree about the bf thing, this baby wasn't an accident yet at the same time I feel now that I'm pregnant he's not ready for it sometimes. I have told him that when he says little things that upset me or insecurities come out it is too much for me to handle right now, it hurts me physically as well as emotionally. This baby is the most important thing in my life right now...or actually the most important thing to me ever in my whole life! It surely can't be as simple as getting really upset can cause miscarriage or I think women would have them a lot more often with how our hormones can make us feel sometimes, and I truly believe there is nothing in the world that a woman can do to cause one, I just dont think God would be that cruel to put that kind of burden on us. Regardless, I do realize I need to just relax no matter what is causing the pain. Thank you so much ginger, I appreciate you! :)


kimberly - February 8

I am sorry you are having a bad day!! I know how awful you must feel. I would try to lay down for a while and see if the pain eases. As for your sister she could be a little more consoling, you could have used her support..don't blame yourself. I don't think just a fight can cause a m/c but I guess enough stress is not good for you. I am sure if relax and take it easy for a while it will be fine, try and maybe take a bath and settle down with a good book or something. If the pain gets to bad of course go to the Er or call your Dr.


margie - February 8

thank you kimberly! i was kind of surprised at my sisters reaction as well, i think she is just scared and mad at me for letting myself get upset. i'm trying the best i can...but these hormones can really do a number on me let me tell ya! relaxation sounds WONDERFUL right now...oh and bf and I made up sort of now but some of the fights we've had lately i feel like theyve really affected us. oh come on second trimester! these hormones have gotta slack on me i sware, normally when i get upset im really good at staying calm and mediating the situation but i just fly off the handle before thinking now sometimes....oh girls, it makes me feel so much better to come on here and talk to you all! we're all going through this pregnancy thing together, the really great parts of it and the scary parts too, its so nice to have support...sometimes i get more support from you on here than people who have been in my life for years!


KristinTone - February 8

My BF fights with me too I feel like he doesn't understand what I'm going through, but how could he lol! He is p__sed I never have energy I always want to sleep...It takes so much out of me just to get up and go to work every morning. He thinks I should come home and clean etc. I just can't stand it!! I don't feel like cleaning or doing anything for that matter except sleeping! I get so angry at him it actually seems to be getting better though I'm not as tired now in my 15th week. Margie It is said that yes stress can cause a miscarraige your BF needs to cool it for the sake of your baby! These men will never understand what we go thru!!!!!


BiancaM - February 8

Hey Margie, I read that an argument won't cause a misscarriage. Just try to relax. Me and my husband have been fighting more now than ever and I think it's the stress of having a baby. I hope everything's ok. Just breath.


Please_be_A _girl - February 9

Margie: sorry to hear about the fight- I dont know if enough stress could cause a miscarriage i know stress is not good though for anyone esp. the baby. My advice to you is it sit him down and be calm and ask him to understand that right now you need some more understanding. I think that we look at our men and we expect them to be these rocks but in my experience i just dont believe men handle change and stress very well at all and I m sure this baby is making him scared and vulnerable. And i think that goes for all of our men. we are all fighting more now because we are all tired and emotional and they are all scared. It natural just start to spot when you see that it is a no win arguement or if things are going to esculate and tell him you need to walk away from it-- when you guys can calm down you can continue. Make sure he understands Stress is not good for anyof you and your job is to protect you and the baby. I hope you are having a better day-- and tell your sister you need alittle more support then what she was showing you on that isse. he is you boyfriend and the father of your child she cant blame you for getting upset.



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