Sharing The News In A Touchy Situation

4 Replies
Hopeful3 - January 11

In the past two years, I have lossed two pregnancies fairly early on. The hardest part of coping for me was the way I was treated by either family members with new babies or by my friends that became pregnant after my miscarriages. I was avoided when it came to special events. One girl told my dh that she was afraid to invite me to her baby shower because she though I would just get too emotional since I had never had one. That's an another story in itself. So, I vowed that I would never treat anyone the way I was treated if I ever became pregnant again. My problem? My cousin, who I was really close to when we were younger, gave birth to her daughter on Nov. 1, 2007, but due to complications and birth defects, her baby died. I conceived my baby roughly two weeks later. Now, I am nearing the end of my first trimester, so I will be telling everyone soon. I am not really sure how to share this with her. I know what I went through, and I don't want to exclude her. At the same time, I don't want to cause her more pain than what she has already been through. Any advice??


mjvdec01 - January 11

That's tough. I would tell her first in a private setting so she can express what ever emotion she needs to without an audience. Then give her a couple of days to deal with her feelings before you tell the rest of the family. That is what I would do. What do you think. Oh, and congratulations by the way!


Hopeful3 - January 11

That really makes the most sense. Everytime I play the scenario in my mind, my words just sound dumb to me. I have gained an understanding of why I was treated so differently when I had my m/c. However, I also know that exclusion is often times lonely and just as heartbreaking. Thank you for your response, I really do appreciate it. Even if she does take it well, I am so emotional right now that I know I will be in tears when I tell her, and that worries me too. Oh well, thanks again.


JudithLayne - January 11

hey hopeful. i am pretty much in the same boat. although i dont know if im pg yet..when i do find out tho, i have a cousin who had a daughter that pa__sed away from brain cancer at 15 months. so i can understand how hard it will be to tell her. but i do agree with the post above that telling her in a private setting would be best..good luck! and congrats!!


Krissy25 - January 11

I think Mjvdec is right about telling her first privatly. She will probaly be a little emotional but if she knows what you have been through she will probably also be happy for you.



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