Telling People-pg119513702479

4 Replies
nola-gal - November 15

Hi ladies. Some of you already know my situation. I am unmarried, but just got engaged, and 5 weeks pg. I teach middle school girls, so I haven't spread it around at work that much that i'm pg, but a lot of people know i am engaged. my fiancee has told lots of people...he has a large family, lots of close friends, and i am totally fine with it. i gave my parents the go ahead, and everyone is really happy about it and happy for us. people have been wanting us to tie the knot for a while now, and this double whammy is even better than they could have hoped. HOWEVER, a girl who we are both good friedns with is having a really hard time being happy for us. before this, i considered her one of my best friends, like a sister. the thing is, she had an abortion a few years ago. she got pg with a man she had just decided not to move in with, and they decided together to have the abort. they wound up moving in together anyway, but recently broke up. she's had a really hard time and all my good news is hard for her to deal with. the last thing she asked me was, "do you really think it's wise to be telling so many people now?" and last week she wanted to know if i thought we were doing the right thing, reminding me that "you know, you really didn't plan this." my fiancee is too happy to be worried about what she thinks, and she hasn't said anything like that to him. but i thought she was one of my best friends, so it does bother me! where is this coming from??? advice??? this foum is so supportive, i thought i would vent here!

 

hioannidis - November 15

Hi nola-gal! Well we all know that everyone is ent_tled to their opinion, however some things are better left unsaid. Your friend is obviously “pro abortion” and to her that was the solution. But that is NOT the solution for most. In-fact that word should not even be mentioned in pregnancy forums. Maybe she feels that you will no longer have time for her, or maybe she regrets her decision and is wishing she could turn back time. What ever the reason, you need to tell her that you and your fiancé could not be happier. Nobody should ever make you feel bad for having a baby, it is such a wonder gift that many take for granted. Don’t let her stress you out, think about the baby and don’t get stressed out over this. Talk to her if you need to, but if she upsets you then maybe it would be in the best interest of your little baby to avoid her till you’re further along. This is just my opinion, please do what you feel is right!!

 

bubbasmom - November 15

Hi Nola. I agree with hioannidis that your friend may be afraid you won't have time for her. Also, since she just broke up with her boyfriend, it may be hard for her to be happy for your current situation. She may want the security of being engaged and because she's not, wants to hold you back. I hope that makes since. Essentially, if she can't have what you have, she might rather you not have it either, even if it means being insensitive. I would try to have an open discussion with her and mention that she doesn't seem so happy for you. Say you really want to include her bt would like to know what is bothering her. Good luck

 

gabby509 - November 16

Hi Nola, I went through a similar situation but with my boss. I am also unmarried, but have been engaged to my fiance for 3 months now. The pregnancy was not planned but wasn't unplanned. I work as a nanny and my boss has a 13 year old son battling with cancer. When I told her about my situation she told me, in these exact words..... I wouldn't get too excited, most girls have miscarriages the first time they get pregnant. Now I have worked for this woman for 2 years and have become very close with her family. It was a complete slap in the face, and I was devastated. I cried to my mom about it for 2 weeks, and was horribly worried about miscarriage at that point. But, I realized later that people who can't be happy for you, are not worth telling. I just completely stopped talking to her about my pregnancy and about 2 weeks later she apologized. So my only advice is to take it with a grain of salt. This girl is bitter because of a decision she made with her own life. It most likely has nothing to do with your situation, except that she is jealous. So hang in there and remember, you and your fiance are the only ones that need to be excited, everyone else is just a bonus.

 

nola-gal - November 16

thank y'all so much. our friendship seems even more strained now, and with my fiancee out of town, i can't help but dwell on it and feel alone. why can't she get over herself and be happy for us??? but you're all right and i just can't let her get me down. she's an adult and will have to deal with her demons in her own way. thanks again

 

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