Too Funny

1 Replies
wv_red - October 25

Well ladies I know we have all been a little serious with our pregnancies. I think it is time we give our babies a jiggle. if you have a joke or a funny stroy to share please do so! Lets have a little fun on our forum!

 

wv_red - October 25

Marriage (Part I ) > > > > > > Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady, and > > > After the wedding, he laid down the following rules: > > > > > > "I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time > > > I want -- and I don't expect any ha__sle from you. > > > I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless > > > I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. > > > I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing > > > When I want with my old buddies, and don't you > > > Give me a hard time about it. > > > Those are my rules. Any comments?" > > > > > > His new bride said: > > > "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be > > s_x > > > Here at seven o'clock every night...whether you're here or not." > > > > > > (DARN SHE'S GOOD!) > > > > > > ************************************************ > > > > > > Marriage (Part II) > > > > > > > > > Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their > >40th > > > wedding anniversary! > > > > > > > > > The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone > > > that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife -- Cold As Ever'!" > > > > > > > > > "Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a > >headstone > > > that reads, 'Here Lies My Husband -- Stiff At Last'!" > > > > > > (HE ASKED FOR IT!) > > > > > > > > > ***************************************** > > > > > > Marriage (Part III) > > > > > > > > > Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the > > > breakfast table. > > > Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no > > > good in bed either," and storms out of the house. > > > > > > > > > After some time he realizes he was nasty and > > > decides to make amends and rings her up. > > > She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated > >husband > > > says, "What took you so long to answer to the phone?" > > > > > > > > > She says, "I was in bed." > > > > > > "In bed this early, doing what?" > > > > > > "Getting a second opinion!" > > > > > > (YEP, HE HAD THAT COMING, TOO!) > > > > > > ***************************************** > > > > > > Marriage (Part IV) > > > > > > > > > A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. > > > He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his > > > wife," Mother of Six" in spite of her objections. > > > > > > > > > One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it is > > time > >to > > > go home > > > and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. > > He > > > shouts > > > at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home Mother of Six?" > > > > > > > > > His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, > > > shouts right back, "Any time you're ready, Father of Four." > > > > > > > > > (RIGHT ON, LADY!) > > > > > > ***************************************** > > > > > > THE SILENT TREATMENT > > > > > > A man and his wife were having some problems at home > > > and were giving each other the silent treatment. > > > Suddenly the man realized that the next day he would need his > >wife > > > to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. > > > Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he > >wrote > > > on a piece > > > of paper,"Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew > >she > > > would find it. > > > The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it > > > was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. > > > > > > > > > Furious, he was about to go to see why his wife hadn't wakened > >him > > > when he > > > noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is > >5:00 > > > AM. > > > Wake up." > > Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

 

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