Waiting To Miscarry After Missed

24 Replies
Bumblebee - February 19

I am in a very confusing and sad situation having to wait for a natural miscarry after 7 weeks. Dh and I have decided to wait a couple weeks at least before I decide on d&c or not. I am in my 1st wait week. Is anyone out there in similar waiting phase and can offer support / need support / just chat? I could really use that. Waiting for something worse really sucks and one day I can stay cheerful and busy with routine and next day crying and sad and heavy heart. Thanks for reading and understanding. If anyone else went thru this and offers advise / support / anything at all, you are also welcome.


joleenb - February 19

hi bumblebee, i just read your post and thought i would offer what i could. we found out we were pregnant in october 07...2nd u/s showed a very low h/b 3rd u/s we found out there wasn't a h/b.i elected to have a prescription to essentially "force my body" into the m/c. it was absolutely the worst thing i have ever experienced. the dr's say that it wasn't anything we did/didn't do and couldn't offer any explanation, not what you want to hear i'm sure. it's a pain that is definitely still there and the emotional pain is a lot worse than the physical. it takes time...i am excited to say that we just found out that we are pregnant again. according to my calculations 4w4d, have an appt on thurs to confirm. i'm here to listen/chat if you want to keep talking about it...i think that helps having someone else who's been there/done that.


MissP - February 19

Hi bumblebee - im so sorry you have to go through this and i understand the feelings you have very well. I lost my first baby in oct 07 at 12 wks but the baby didnt make it past 8wks4days. I was devestated when they told me and i was away from home which made it all the harder. Me and my dh wanted to wait to have a natural mc but the doctor insisted i have a d&c because the baby had already been dead for several wks. Now..i didnt think i would want the d&c but i had to wait for 3 days for an appointment and those days were among the worst in my life. I dont know if everyone feels this way, but the thought of having my baby dead inside me for such a long time made me feel sick and i just wanted him out. The doc gave me some drugs to try and speed everything up and i ended up mc in the early hours of the morning 2 days after the scan. I then had the d&c anyway because there was tissue that hadnt expelled. The mc didnt hurt physically, just emotionally, and i was very scared to have the d&c but that was also not as bad as i expected. Once it was over i did feel better, the waiting that your experiencing now - for me - was the hardest part. Im sorry that i cant give you some more positive story as theres nothing good to say about having a miscarriage, but i can tell you that in a few weeks you will start to pick yourself up again, and 3 months after mine i felt almost myself again. Im now 7wks preg with my second baby and feeling nervous about this one too. I think after you go thru a horrible experience like this you never really feel the same afterwards, but, you dont give up hope. Dont worry the feelings your having now wont stay forever and you will have a successful pregnancy and when you have your little child in your ams you will just appreciate them even more than other women who never go through this. Im on this board quite a lot so if you want to talk il check in every day. Keep yourself distracted in the meantime, and i hope and pray it happens quickly for you x x x


Nerdy_Girl_10242006 - February 19

When I miscarried y twins I was about 10 weeks...I never knew anything was wrong...but it actually took me 5 weeks to miscarry, they stopped growing at 5 weeks, so that is how long it took me to miscarry, if I had known, I probably would have waited to go natural anyways. But it will soon happen, and I am sorry you have to go through this, it is the worst thing and no one should ever have to deal with one. If you need to chat, you know alot of us are here to help you out and chat with you.


Bumblebee - February 20

Thanks so much and so sorry for your losses. Congrats joleenb and MissP!!! I do pray it goes well for you both. Thanks for sharing your story. It is tough to wait and each day of anticipation - if this will be the day! I am getting tested by fert spec. next week to see why I mc twice. Why am I pg and then it doesn't stick! That just makes me sooo mad!!! Even though they say it is norm... I know, now I am talking nonsense.


Nerdy_Girl_10242006 - February 20

My sister had 5-6 miscarriages before she had her daughter, and that was all pretty much in one year. But everntually my sister had a little girl. I know how hard it is to wait, when I found out I was pregnant with my daughter I worried constantly...she made it tho and is a healthy and happy 5 month old now. I am 10w now and still worried, all 3 of my pregnancies have been since November 06, so really close together. I don't know how well my body will handle this pregnancy...but I hope you get your little bundle of joy and your next will be a successful pregnancy


Bumblebee - February 20

Nerdy_Girl - I understand you're at that same time as previous loss, so it must be a stressful time. Just couple more weeks and you will feel a lot better. I hope you are able to take relaxing walks someplace nice. It always helps take my mind off the worries. I don't think I could go thru another m/c but I know we will try again as soon as we can.... so, it is silly - I will somehow have to muster up the courage over next few months. Anyway, still waiting..... What is with my body!!! I should get to the hosp for my blood test now. Will let u know results. Thanks


Nerdy_Girl_10242006 - February 20

I can't even take a 5 minute shower lol I would love to go walking. But don't want anyone watching my daughter


Bumblebee - February 20

Nerdy - you do have your hands full if u can't get a 5 min shower!! well, from all your replies, it sounds like waiting up to 5 weeks after may be okay.... good to know. thanks. I don't feel anything in my stomach or my system... I feel empty. Boobs soreness is finally gone today - It sucked to be so sore even after finding out the bad news. I finally feel like myself. Don't know how long this will last before I m/c... Sorry to bore you guys with my waiting!!!!! :) But thanks for listening.


Nerdy_Girl_10242006 - February 21

You aren't boring anyone with your waiting, at least not me. I have been there, but no one to go through it with me. I said I miscarried on the huggies forum and they said I was a liar and bashed me and seriously broke my heart. I hated the fact that no one there believed me. It was a great forum too...so I am more then happy to sit here with you because its always good to have someone there, may not be in person but even on here it can offer a relief to an extent.


joleenb - February 21

i agree with nerdy girl...don't feel like you're boring or bothering anyone. it's a difficult experience and it always helps being able to talk to someone who's been there/done that. *hugs*


MissP - February 21

yeah its true bumblebee, seriously, worrying about boring us is the last thing you should think! Ive been there too and its not an easy wait. im sure if your symptoms have gone completely it wont be long until it happens. im a bit depressed today because i have been so sick with nausea and dizzyness i couldnt even get out of bed and i have to wait another week to get a scan to see if theres anything in there...on the last scan there was just a sack and it was a week behind where it should have been. Im feeling confused about how to feel - but also had 2 friends on the preg loss board just found out their babies have no heartbeats and will mc shortly..and they are at the same stage as me...so i feel so sad today. Sorry to bore you with what im thinking with what your going through, i just thought it might help distract! I hope it happens for you quickly and painfree x x


Babymama - February 22

I did the same thing last week. We found out we were pregnant and we were so happy. Then they started doing all these tests and within a week they said that I would miscarry naturally. They told me all that and then my b___bs still got sore and it was horrible, because you already know that you won't carry the pregnancy but you still have to go through the symptoms. I only had to wait a day or two, but it was still bad. The day I started to miscarry I called the doc and he gave me meds for pain and to make me "contract" more so it would go faster and there wouldn't be anything left. It has been a horrible week because we found out that we would miscarry on my birthday. It is so emotionally painful, it's the second tie weve been through it and I'm scared to even try to get pregnant again in the future because I really feel liek I can't go through this again.


Bumblebee - February 22

Thanks all... Nerdy - I can't understand what would make someone even think you could lie about something as distressing as an m/c... That's just nuts!! MissP - I'm sure the wait must be real challenging to see the u/s... I am praying we will hear good news. Babymama- I just replied on your other post... It's a tougher time after the m/c - can't define it... It was so for me last m/c.. and expect it may be due to the loss we women feel physically - a real emptiness - not just emotional loss. For me it was a physical gripping heart wrenching heavy emptiness - which did not feel better with crying and I could not really cry - just tears would roll out every so often... Take it easy and hope u have lots of support and care and love around you. I was trying to reach my sisters but neither is calling me back... So, that is also saddening for me. I don't want to leave them a message or send email... and think the least they could do is call back so I can talk... But it's ok, nothing I can do - can't force people to do things I need. They may have their own things going on, and I have to respect that also. It just adds to my sadness right now.. and can't really talk to my parents - I mean they are very supportive,kind , and sweet, but the real talk doesn't happen - it's just not that kind of relationship... So, I am really happy to have found a support system here, where I can just spill with out any judgement, so much kindness, caring, and we can all relate. It just makes me cry right now thinking that I am one of those with a web support, and very little family support. Thankfully dh is more than all family put together in his sweetness and kindness, and helping me hold it together and doing so much house work to help me relax as much as I need. On the one hand I got so unlucky with family and then on the other hand, god really made up for it with dh and a few good friends. Thanks all..


billsgirl - February 23

aww bumble bee. i am so sorry for you!! as you know, i just went thru the same thing. i can tell you that with mine, i saw the empty sac at 7 weeks, started bleeding about 3 days later, when i went to the er they said i was not m/c yet.... buta it was going to happen. a few days later i started getting extremely bad abck aches and cramps. then i finally pa__sed it. about 5 days later i went to the doc and they said that after doing the u/s that most of the tissue was already gone and that i wouldnt need a d&c. so for me, the entire process lasted about 2 weeks. i would flip back and forth from wanting a d&c and not. it is heartbreaking to think about the loss still being in you, but fear of scarring, and having to wait 3 months to try again kept me from having the surgery done. i am only spotting brown now and am excited to get to try again. i hope that whatever you decied puts your heart at ease. you were there for me when this first started to happen, so i only hope i can touch your heart the way you did mine. Good luck to you and jsut remember that it will happen for us!


MissP - February 24

Oh bumblebee, im sorry things are so hard for you right now, its not fair. Did your sisters contact you yet? At least you have a supportive dh and that better sometimes than having a hundred other people around you. Plus like you said - you have all of us, who care - and who understand. What is happening physically then, any spotting yet? Its so hard when it dosnt happen fast. Our bodies work against us sometimes. Anyway, im sending you big hugs to get through this...lots of love x x


Bumblebee - February 25

Hi ~ Thanks... Nothing yet. Went to a fert spec doc today to get infoand he did a sono - nothing there but the sac. And he suggests not to wait much more so I am sched a d&c... ANd begging my acupunc to suggest a herbal that will help support my body thru d&c or will help gently speed up the m/c... I hope it will happen before the d&c... which may end up sometime next week. I guess just the risks are scaring me, but I will have to trust it will be good... I mean why would anything bad happen to me!! :) ya! So, that will be it. One week - I am giving myself to rev up to "purging my contents". Maybe I will work out like crazy, take long hot baths, drink lots of aloe vera and other purgatives!! Hmmm... will update u all in a few days after trying all this.



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