When To Tell Family Amp Friends

14 Replies
Chas - February 26

I just found out I am pregnant. I should be 4 wks. We are throwing my dad a 60th bday party in two weeks. I will be 6 wks preg then. I want to tell everyone @ the party, but would it be too soon? I don't know what i would do if something happened... I know that is thinking the worst, I would wait to tell everyone except I think that would be perfect to tell my parents and this party ! Could I get some input ? When has everyone else usually told family ?? Thanks

 

EricaG - February 26

Hey Chas, I know how hard it is to keep the secret! I'm 16w 4d now and everybody knows, but I can remember being scared and excited at the same time, to tell people. I told my parents the day that I found out but asked them to keep it a secret from everybody else. I was scared of miscarriage and it's easier to just tell your own parents about a miscarriage than the whole world. The thing is, that like 1/4 pregnancies end in miscarriage and most of those occur before 12 weeks. I waited to tell the rest of my family and friends until after week 12. This is just what I did and felt comfortable with (and believe me it was hard, I found out I was pregnant between thanksgiving and Christmas and wanted to tell EVERYONE at the chrsitmas parties!) But you should do what you are comfortable with and what makes you happpy! :o)

 

Chas - February 26

Thanks for the input Erica.. that makes me feel a little better. I haven't decided what I will do yet, I might just tell my Mom & Dad and immediate family maybe before the party. I dunno.. I am so overwhelmed with feelings right now !

 

chandellina - February 26

hi Chas, i've always been of the view that you shouldn't announce big news at someone else's event, as it then shifts all the attention to you and away from the guest of honour. but by all means tell your parents privately if you feel ready. best wishes ...

 

Chas - February 26

good point Chandelina, I really didn't think of it that way. Maybe I will tell them before hand.

 

Deb - February 26

I would only tell a select few right now. That's just my opinion. The more people you tell now is the more people you have to tell later about a miscarriage if it should happen. I chose to tell my family at 11 1/2 weeks (after my first ultrasound) and then I told everyone else at 14 weeks. I really wanted to be in the clear as much as I could. My sister told everyone at 12 weeks (before an ultrasound) and then had an ultrasound a few days later and found out that the baby had died at 8 weeks. Then she had to turn around and tell everyone she lost the baby. It was devastating for her to have to keep explaining to people. I know how exciting it is to find out you are pregnant, and it is very hard to keep the secret, but think ahead at how you would feel if something like this were to happen. Just something to think about...

 

Chas - February 26

Thanks Deb, you are probably right. I should wait. I'm sorry your sister had to go through that. The thing is all my friends and family will be expecting me to be drinking at this party(it's going to be a big bash) so, I don't know what to do about that, they will know something is up. I thought about "pretending" to drink .. but I don't know if it will work. Maybe I could pretend long enough for everyone else to get sloshed ! lol and then they won't notice !?!?

 

EricaG - February 26

Lol, yeah! Not drinking is a real giveaway! My husband is in college (graduating in April!) and we were at a "senior Barrel" which is basically where people get a keg for the person graduating and have a big drunkfest. They ALLknew when said no to a beer, lol.

 

SuzieQ - February 27

lol - I had my stagette the same day I got my bfp! - hmmmm, thankfully there was no family there (we didn't want to tell anyone due to previous m/c's)

 

Gem - February 27

Hi I am 4 weeks pregnant and I could so easily tell everyone but Iwe have decided to wait atleast 8 weeks until we tell anyone and hopefully once we get to 8 weeks we will feel like we can hold on until 12 weeks just to be safe. I would go to the party and pretend to drink.

 

Deb - February 27

Yeah, I did the "pretend" drinking and it worked really well. My hubby and I had a routine down. We would each have a beer, and I would "nurse it" and pretend to drink, and then when he had most of his gone, I would ask him to hold my beer for a second so I could fix my shoe or something. Then, when I asked for my beer back, he would give me his and he would drink mine. Nobody had any clue. Just make sure he leaves about a quarter of the beer in the bottle, because if it is empty, surely someone will come and give you a brand new one! Good luck!

 

Chas - February 27

Thanks Deb... that just might work !!! lol yeah, everyone knows me as a regular drinker... I mean usually I don't turn down a beer! lol So, they will definately know if I just say "no thanks" but that's an idea about the beer swaping... I'll have to tell my husband about that one, so we can come up with a plan !!

 

Leilani14 - February 27

Congratulations !!! When I first found out I wanted to tell the whole world. Actually I avoided to call people because thhere was nothin else I could think or talk about. Very early I told only my dad, mom and MIL, and FIL. And we asked them for keeping it to themselves. I think it would be a great birthday gift for your dad if you tell him a day or two before the party. Maybe better a two days befor, just so they can have little time to get over the excitment. My dad was joking that now he will stay locked up in the house for a while, because he was glowing and everybody would notice and he wouldn't be able to keep a secret. My MS kicked in very early so I had to tell my boss. I wanted to be able to take some sick time on very bad days. I have a very good boss so I knew that it is a right thing to do. I'm glad that I did so because I started to spott around week 5, little brown and some pink. I was so scared. I had U/S at 5w2d and they saw sac and yolk, it was to early for the baby. A week later I saw my baby and HB. It was amazing. Most of the people don't get US before 8w, so I think it would be smart to wait first US before making huge anouncements. I still didn't tel everyone I think I will in next few weeks. I'm 10w now. Onec again congratulations, I'm so glad that you joined First Timestar board Leilani

 

Chas - February 27

Thanks leilani, & congrats to you too! I went to the doc today,so it is official~ I am in fact pregnant! I still can't believe it. I told my doc about my fears of miscarriage, he said that if I see any spotting at all to come in right away. So, why were you spotting? since everything was okay.... did your doctor say anything about it?? I think I have decided to wait until about 8 wks to tell anybody. I will just have to pretend to drink at the party! I guess i will just make it a late 60th bday present !

 

Leilani14 - February 27

Hi Chas. It's great that you got the confirmation. For some reason my GP didn't want to do blood test. He said if HPT is positive, I'm pregnant. I was worrying about MC a lot so I bought a bunch of HPT's and in first week I tested every day. I needed something to make it real. I started to spot when I was 4w6d. They never told me the real reson, just that many women spot during the pregnancy and I learned on this board tha that is realy true. What I learned is brown or pink is OK and mostly it is implantation bleeding. Bright red with cramps is bad. I read all that but still I was so scared. I'm so sorry I waited 2 days to call my OB. She was so nice, scheduled US right away and in less than 1/2 hour I knew my baby is OK. Spotting lasted for 5 days, but once I knew baby is OK I was able to relax.

 

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