Why Am I So Unhappy

7 Replies
Tootsie5c - November 4

I'm 11 weeks pregnant and I've never been so unhappy in my life. My dh and I planned this pregnancy and its something we both have wanted for a long time, but now that I'm pregnant, I wish that I wasn't. Our entire relationship is falling apart. He isn't understanding or sympathetic at all, and I'm just angry and sad all the time. I don't want to resent being pregnant and I don't want my marriage to fall apart because of it. I just don't know what to do anymore.


RMC - November 4

Wow Tootsie. I sometimes feel the exact same way. This was totally planned, but dh feels like I use the pregnancy as an excuse for everything & isn't very sympathetic at all. I have no desire for s_x at all, I'm very tired all the time, & I'm always cranky. I try to explain it's just my hormones, but we always end up fighting. I'm sorry that you're having problems, I just wanted you to know you aren't alone (:


sarah21 - November 4

I hate to say it, but it's hormones for you and stress for him. It is very stressful for some men to face the fact that they will be fathers and responsible for another person. It's just as tough on them as it is on you. Just hang in there and keep trying to communicate with each other. Men have a hard time connecting with the fact that you're pregnant. Make sure he comes with you to all your appointments so that he can hear the heartbeat and see the baby and try to bond with it. They change so much after the baby is born. It will get better!


ChattyKathy - November 4

Just hang in there. Depression is common in pregnancy, and anger can sometimes go along with depression. Unfortunately, its normal. You can blame it all on the hormones, but you should start to feel better soon. Try to pamper yourself, exercise, spend some time in the sun. These are all this that can help with depression. Take a peek at some baby things, think about putting together an early baby registry. If that doesn't help, the last resort could be considering some temporary counseling to help you two through this. You WILL get through this.


sashasmama - November 4

From my experience, I have to tell you that it's only going to get worse. Being pregnant and then having a baby changes everything. You find out things about each other you've never really noticed before. The same was with me, I was pregnant and constantly reading about pregnancy, labor, child care, and then would ask my husband to read...and he would read a page and would be through with it, he would make me so upset and mad that I would scream and cry (good ol' hormones). Then the baby came, we were both zombies, he wanted to sleep and so did I, the fights got worse, from the lack of shut eye. Then I got my baby blues...he didn't understand, I felt alone and in the dumps, it was the worst feeling in the world. Then a time came when you get very jelaous with your time for yourself, we argued a lot about that. BUT, if you are trully meant to be together and love each other, you will work it out, and going through these things will only make you two closer and you'll know so much more about each other than you did before. It does pay off, my daughter is now almost 2 years old, and our relationship is getting better and better every day, because we've been through so much together and are not best friends. I love seeing him being a daddy, playing with our daughter and giving her kisses, feeding her, putting her for a nap, e.t.c. It's the best feeling ever. So hang in there, this too shall pa__s, believe it or not.


Faye84 - November 5

That is 100% normal. When I was pregnant with my first daughter I was very depressed. Although my husband was very understand and supportive all of the time, we still had major issues. It gets better as the pregnancy goes alone, once your in the middle of your second trimester you will be feeling alot better. For me I was depressed alot of my pregnancy but After I didnt have hardly any post pardom.


newlywed0915 - November 5

so far, I've been really lucky. We're newlyweds (thus my login name) and my husband has been amazing so far. I mean c'mon we were married for a week, and I started experiencing symptoms the day after we got back from our honeymoon. My s_x drive was pretty low after being 3 weeks pregnant, and I was constanttly tired with mood swings. I have had a few scares and I think I am going ot be cla__sified as a high risk pregnancy soon, but just yesterday, after s_x( only the second time in a week bc of a threatened miscarriage) I started bleeding and the OB told me no s_x until Second Trimester. Thats 5 weeks! Aaaand, we're newlyweds! I told DH, and he goes, " Ouch... I guess we're buying a TV sooner than Christmas!" But he's been so sweet, and I feel so lacking because all I can do is cook dinner (if I don't end up feeling nauseous), and we're in the process of moving apartments. He's doing a lot of cosmetic work on our new apartment, and I can't even move boxes!!!! Not to make you ladies feel bad though. I think with some couples, after it just being the two of you for so long, now that there's a baby in the middle, it puts a strain on things, because everything you're SO used to has changed. Don't stress about your relationship falling apart. Remember the things you DO enjoy doing together, and make sure you're still bonding. Husbands tend to feel left out, because frankly, most of the attention is focused on you and the baby. Maybe go to Barnes and Noble and buy a book about being a new father, and the changes he will go through in marriage and life. Put together a basket of things like a mug that says"#1 Daddy"...or a t-shirt that says " Sympathy Belly" Make him feel more involved. A good book to read is the Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands by Dr. Laura Schlessinger. Yes, it sounds like a lame t_tle, btu its really a good book. While this may be a trying time for both of you, its just another milestone that will bring you closer together in the end. Good luck!


sarahnicolesmom - November 5

Tootsie what's happening to you is soooo common as you may have noticed by now. With my first pregnancy I didn't even want to have any intimacy with my DH and eventhough he was "understanding" it did affect our relationship after our baby was born because I also got very depressed after our baby was born. But eventually I snapped out of it and we started working things out. We have a great realtionship now, we are very much enjoying this pregnancy and can't wait to have our second baby in our arms. You know what could also help, ask him to go with you to every appointment, it really hits them when they get to see their baby in an u/s or better yet, hear the baby's heart beating -- get him involved in the process as much as you can. And it might seem impossible, but like sashasmama said "THIS TOO SHALL PASS" Take it easy, and whenever you feel like talking, you know where to come!! Good luck....



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