Worried Please Read

28 Replies
ChristineIsWorried - May 2

I am recently pregnant. I found out Friday, April 29 via a blood test that my HCG level is at 17. My doctor says this means I am "newly" pregnant. The 1st day of my last period was either April 3rd or 4th. I typically have 28, 29 day cycles. I chart my basal body temperature and in April my temperature spiked between April 15th and April 18th. Before the 15th my BB temperature as around 97.7, dropping to 97.3 on the 12th, 97.5 on the 13th and 97.8 on the 14th. On April 18th my BB temperature rose to 98.1 (i did not chart April 15 - 17) I had relations on the 8th, 10th and 16th of April. Which day (or days) do you think conception was possible. Is there any way to determine from a sonogram or any other method the fetal age of the baby? If my HCG level was 17 yesterday and it doubles every day or so is it safe to assume my actual pregnancy/implantation began 4 days prior to the blood test which would have been April 25th? If so this would lead me to believe the conception date is the 16th of April. I'd appreciate any help/guidance.

 

jena - May 2

you will probably never know your exact conception dates. even after an ultrasound that determined me to be 6 weeks (now I am 9), the little wheel that they gave me that charts dates/weeks/months only gave a "time period" where I could have conceived - there are so many different things that can be delayed - like your egg actually implanting itself on the wall of your uterus, that timing is hard to pinpoint. However, yes, you can and should get an ultrasound to determine how far along you are. You usually can't see anything on the u/s until you are 6 weeks, however - so you are about 4 going by your LMP. I would have a u/s in 2 weeks if you can (v____al) so you can know your dates and whether or not your baby is growing at a good rate. Congrats!

 

ChristineIsWorried - May 2

Thanks for your response. I am REALLY hoping I can figure out my conception date. I only had s_x twice this month and they were 8 days apart from one another. I am hoping a sonogram can tell me. I had one done today and they said they saw a sac and that i'm less than 5 weeks. I'm so confused!!!

 

jena - May 2

8 days apart - you should be able to tell from a sonogram, then... I was told I conceived "in the beginning of March" - but you should be able to figure out when you ovulated - about 14 days after your last period started - and judge by that. If the two dates of s_x surround your ovulation date, then it might be harder! did you have two different partners? i'm a__suming (but NOT judging!!!!) yes because otherwise it doesn't really matter when you conceived - just that you are healthy! Congrats on your pregnancy!!!

 

ChristineIsWorried - May 3

unfortunately yes there were 2 different partners... 8 days apart. the partner on the 16th is much closer to when i should have ovulated. i had a sonogram yesterday... they said there is a sac, no baby... but it's early so there wouldn't be. she said according to the sonogram i am "less than 5 weeks"... which doesn't help me much. i have another sonogram on monday. hopefully this will determine more. i'm sooo upset with myself over this i can't even begin to tell you!

 

Liz - May 3

I understand you being upset with yourself but many, many women have been in this position. Will you be able to talk about it with either or both of them? As for the sonogram, I wouldn't pin my hopes on that determining the conception date. I had one where they said I measured 5w 1d, then had a second one 10 days later but this time they said I measured 7w 2d which is 15 days more not 10.

 

Misty - May 3

you will never know the exact date as s____n can live for up to 72hrs after s_x, At your 1st scan they will tell you your conception date and tell you it can be out by a couple of days,

 

ChristineIsWorried - May 3

There is 8 days between partners... and the 1st partner was in the very beginning of my cycle... still had low temperatures on my BBT chart. The 2nd partner was mid cycle right around my spike in temperature. I also had a blood test done and my HCG level was only 17 this was on friday. My dr. said to me "you are newly" pregnant. But with my sonogram she just said that i was "less than 5 weeks" because all they saw was an empty sac. yesterday my blood test HCG level was 52. I'm soooo confused. and no i can't talk to the one that matters about what i have done. i sooooo don't want to get an abortion. but if i can't determine the father i feel like i may have to. help!!!

 

RG - May 3

Christine--First of all let me say, what ever you do is your decision....however...I want to say that no matter who the father is, you have a child inside of you that you helped to create...Don't make any rash decisions as you may do that now and in 5 years when you want to have a child you cannot. Can I ask some personal questions???? Don't answer if you don't want....this guy that you care about...is he a husband/boyfriend? Why were you taking your temp regularly, were you using that to plan to get pregnant or to know when you ovulated so you would not get pregnant? Just curious! Good luck in what ever you descide to do.

 

Christine - May 3

this is my boyfriend of 6 years. i made a horrible decision 1 night and will live with the guilt forever. my bf and i were trying to conceive and that is why i was taking my temp... i also have abnormal uterine bleeding so my dr. was having me chart to see if i was ovulating at all... well guess what. i am. and i happen to get pregnant the one month i screw up. i'll never do it again...but that doesn't help me now. i so want a baby but am scared of who the father is. i'm an idiot... i could just scream!!!!!!

 

Liz - May 3

My heart goes out to you. I suppose you can't do any kind of identification test anytime soon, and probably not without letting your boyfriend know? Have you checked into that to be sure? Have you told your doctor all of this? Let's just say that with the information you have plus the sonogram results, he was to say it is unlikely that the other guy is the father. Would you be able to live with an "unlikely"? Unfortunately it doesn't sound like you have any ideal solution and will have to settle for the one you can live with the best. I agree with Christine, though. Don't make any rash decisions. I think you need to gather all the information you can before deciding anything. Find out everything you can about ways to tell who the father is, when you can do it, if there's a way to do it without letting your boyfriend know. I really think you should lay all this out to your doctor and see what information he can provide. I wish you lots of luck.

 

Christine - May 3

i don't think i can face my dr. and tell him. i've been going for years to him and i'm so ashamed.

 

Christine - May 3

i just got this off of web MD -Fetal ultrasound usually can confirm pregnancy 6 to 7 weeks after the woman's last menstrual period. -Fetal ultrasound can be done to predict a woman's due date and estimate the age of the fetus. -If fetal ultrasound is done during the 7th to 14th week of pregnancy, the age of the fetus can usually be determined to within 5 days. -From the 14th to the 26th week of pregnancy, ultrasound to determine the age is usually accurate to within 7 to 14 days. -After the 26th week of pregnancy, ultrasound becomes less accurate at determining the age of the fetus. -Fetal growth rates are checked by comparing the size of the fetus's head, limbs, and body with standard tables.

 

RG - May 3

Honey don't be ashamed--you made a mistake don't worry yourself to death. You do have some time to make a decision. Be aware that you are going to get people slamming you for even thinking about abortion...but you have to do what is right for you. I'll pray for you....and I'm with Liz in that it is very liekly that it is your boyfriends baby...with the spiking temperatures and all....if you go to babyzone.com and do the pregnancy calculator...you put in the first date of your last period and legnth of period....SO conception date if you started on the 3rd would be 4/17 or 4/18 if you started on the 4th it would be 4/18 or 4/19 depending on a 28 or 29 day cycle....if this is the case...you'd be around 4 weeks today (which is less than 5 weeks). Someone said that the s____n live up to 72 hours...so 8th plus 3 days is the 11th...and that's probably not close enough to your ovulation date. Were your periods regular or not and were they normaly 28/29 days? You've got to keep us informed....my heart goes out to you...just remember you have a baby inside which you've been wanting and trying to get!

 

Christine - May 3

The truth is... I want nothing more than to keep this baby.... and I really believe with all the questions I've asked and the advice from people on here, HOTLINES (yes hotlines!) and my dr that it is my boyfriends baby. With this information I have hope. I'm going to get another sonogram on Monday. I'll have more to report then. Thank you so much for responding and caring. It means a lot to a woman who feels VERY alone and ashamed right now. so thank you.

 

Liz - May 3

ABSOLUTELY. You need to forgive yourself. And you need to figure out a way to deal with the guilt that you will likely feel with either choice that you make. Guilt can really destroy your life, and you don't deserve that because of one stupid mistake. I have one question to throw out here. What if you go ahead with the pregnancy, your boyfriend finds out (at the birth or five years from now), and he leaves you? Would you be able to support yourself and the child, or do you have family and friends to help you? I would just want to feel secure that I could handle the worst-case scenario.

 

Christine - May 3

i'm thinking what i will do is get a blood test as soon as possible to determine paternity (the "mistake guy" would be willing to do that for me) and this way i can either have peace of mind OR prepare myself for what is to come. if i lost my current bf over this i would be devastated...i REALLY REALLY HOPE AND PRAY THIS BABY IS HIS

 

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