Are The In Laws Being To Pushy

17 Replies
Leahp - January 25

Well, we just told my husbands mom and sister last weekend that we're pregnant! Well, now they're obsessed with names!! He did ask his sister to e-mail him some good web sites of names, which I already did, but he wanted to make them feel included, well they have taken it three steps further. She e-mailed the web sites along with all of her favorite names in whole- first and middle!! Then his mother sent a huge newspaper clipping of popular names plus all of her favorites down the side, which some were horrible!!! I don't know if it's my hormones or what but it is really starting to bother me, I find the name picking something that is only concerned with my husband and I, plus to be one of the most joyous things to do while you're pregnant!! I've made this clear to him that I think they're being a little overbearing, along with huge crying spells about it all!! Am I being to selfish, or is it something you share!! I just feel now that if we don't choose any of the names they picked they will be offended, because you don't even want to know what happened during the wedding planning!!!


E - January 25

Wow. You guys are too nice. We are naming our baby to spite everyone who hated the name we chose. All of the unwanted opinions about the name made us like it even more. I hope I have offended those people:) Also, if you don't put your foot down now, they will forever be telling you how to do "this & that".


Leahp - January 25

Oh E! How would I go about doing that. I'm so against confrontation, but with these raging hormones I'm ready to say something!! How would I possibly say anything?? What if they think they're just being helpful?? They are firecracker Italians so I have to be careful!! His sister has called up our answering machine yelling and cussing, I would be entering a fire if I did say something, what would you do?? I like your spitefulness!!! That's hilarious!!


E - January 25

Okay this is what I would say -- "Thanks for the names, we will let you know when we choose one we like". If they continue to bother you with their ideas of how your child should be named/raised (you know they will), pull out your 45 and aim it at their heads. Just kidding:) Just be honest (tell them you prefer to make those decisions) and if they feel the need to cuss and act immature, let them. They have to wake up to themeselves everyday and that can be punishment enough. Hee hee. I hate people like that. My mother was such a b___h about the name we chose, I HAD to use it. She hasn't emailed me since I told her.


E - January 25

Don't let them ruin your pregnancy. It feels good to stick it to people that are asking for it.


lidia - January 25

my in laws where kinda pushy they wanted me to have a baby for my husband because i have three girls and he wanted a son because my first baby died at 1 day old and he was a boy my youngest daughter is 7 so i agreed i wanted a son also. well just found out i am having a boy and some of my inlaws are acting stuck up i dont know why they dont like me i been with my husband since i was 13 years old and i am 28 years old i was having mood swings and i guess my husband had said somthing to them and they said somthing like you better me carfull i told him to pack his stuff and go stay with his sister,like he is going to leave me because i was having mood swing in the first 2 months every thing if fine but when i went to go tell them that i was having a boy they just shugged there shoulders and said that i better act right because i have a good husband i got so bad i told my husband he better say somthing right if front of them and he told them off. they dont understand non of them work i ahve three kids im working full time and pregnant so of course im going to be a little moody here and there its a lot of stress


Leahp - January 25

Oh, I'm trying to not let it ruin anything, they already ruined the months prior to our wedding!!! This is one thing that will stay glorious no matter what someone wants to say!!! I just spoke to my husband at work and told him he needs to call up his mom to find out the blood type and then I was like and don't let her start up on the names!!! He was like I'll tell her we're working on it!! Then he said I'm stressing out about nothing! So I explained to him that with all the energy they're putting into this I just don't want to see anyone get hurt, and they do get hurt and then handle it in a yelling, tantrum throwing way!!! So I had to drop it then, he gets tired of my raging sensitivity!!! It's only been a week since we've told them, I'll give them a little more time, if they continue, I know I will pop!! So I guess we'll see!!! Your e-mail was hilarious it put a smile on my face!!! Thanks for your help E!!!!!


Leahp - January 25

Lidia!! I'm sorry to hear about your first little boy, my prayers are with you!!! I can't imagine having some in-laws acting like that, at least your husband stuck by you!!! I guess I should feel blessed that they shower me with gifts all the time and send us money!!! They can just be a little overwhelming at times. I hate a lot of attention and input on anything, unless I ask for it!!! I just don't want anybody's input during this time in my life!!!


Becky - January 25

My fiancee and I have already spoken about names...and we haven't even been confirmed preggo yet! We like Evan Alexander for a boy, and either Kaitlyn Amanda or Kaylee Alexis for a Girl (I'm leaning towards Kaitlyn, he towards Kaylee). LOL... we started hashing it out the day after we realized we *could* be pregnant!


H - January 25

I kinda feel ya on this one Leahp. When my fiance and I revealed our baby girl's name both of our families gave us a "What The" look. Of course my sister and my niece were pushing for me to name our baby girl a name of their choice. They even said that they were offended that I didn't chose their name over mine. But I look at it this way....this is our baby! They all got their chance or will have their own chance to name their babies. This is our turn and if I wanna name my baby Shockazula that is my decision. Pick a name that you want and the family will just have to leave with it. In the long run they will learn to love it I am sure. Good Luck.


Leahp - January 25

Thanks gals!!! Oh! I know what you mean Becky. We were already talking about names only months into dating, so we have always had some in mind!! We are pretty set on August as a boy and either Sophia or Fiona as a girl, and I know there are people out there that won't like them!! But that's why I just wish they would b___t out, because preferences on names can be VERY different!! and H!!! That's exactly what I'm worried about, they're putting way to much energy into this aspect of the pregnancy which really has nothing to do with them, and I really fear that they will be offended!!!


H - January 25

I know just what you mean Leahp. I think the names that you have picked out are beautiful and unique. My little girl's first name is Heavenly and her middle name is after my fiance's mother Graciela. I know it is different and I have been told on more than one occaision that my child will probably get beat up in school but no matter what they say, I love it. I could not tell you anyone who has that name and that is why I like it. My sister and my neice kept insisting on the name Nevaeh (Heaven backwards) but I said no way. I want my own name. One that we picked out. Don't let them stress you out hun. I know it's hard not to since your horomones are probably thru the roof. Just remember that you are not the one being selfish they are.


Theresa - October 7

I read a little about what you are going through (names) and totaly understand, my husband and I are expecting. I told his mother what we will be naming our little girl and the moment I left her house she called my husband to complain about the name! Thank God he stood up and told her that we were the ones that would be deciding. If you dont put your foot down now I think it will only get worse! I think we both have alot of work ahead, but stay strong and firm about things! Good Luck


Lisa - October 7

I think all new mothers and fathers get that response when they say the name of their child. People will go "huh" or "that's nice" and then the face after that. I've even caught myself doing that a couple times. I'm naming my child what I want too. My mother is not really fond of the name I chose, but she says "You're the mother, you pick what you like baby girl"


HH - October 7

Tell them you like Hezekiah (or John or whatever) for a boy and Gertrude (or Susan, whatever) for a girl and that you have made the final decision. Then pick the name you like and keep it a secret until the baby is born. People have very strong opinions about names. Just don't let it get to you.


Gemma - October 8

Whatever you do don't choose a name for your child you don't really like because of them. It is understandable that they are exited about the baby but it is up to you what you call your baby and if they don't like what you pick then tough. They will come around to the name anyway. Maybe you should tell them that you have decided on names but you are not going to tell anyone until the baby is born what it is.


J - October 8

Maybe they are just really excited and trying to help? My husband's family has also suggested names and I have thanked them but let them know that my husband and I will be picking the name.



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