Baby Shower Etiquette-pg113945706718

17 Replies
Trixie1 - February 8

Is it o.k. for the mother of the pregnant person to throw a shower 1 1/2 years after a previous baby was born?


LN030905 - February 8

I think it depends on the person, honestly. 5 yrs ago, No, but today, yeah-ex if your having a diffirent s_x baby. My bf had a baby in June and is planning on trying to get preg again this coming fall and i will throw her a shower just for the fact that its my and other friends way of being excited for her!


jb - February 9

I personally don't think it is ok....even if the baby is a different s_x. If it was 5+ years since you had a baby, then I would say yes. The way I look at a baby shower is that it is to help out a "new" mother in getting the items she needs for her baby. If you already have a 1 1/2 year old, you should have everything needed (not wanted). If someone invited me to a baby shower in that short of a time period, I would decline to go. That is just my opinion though.


snickelfritz - February 9

Someone told me that they view showers not as welcoming a new baby into the world, but welcoming a couple into the new stage of parenthood. A couple only becomes parents once, so it is reasonable to only have a baby shower once. However, there are subst_tutes for subsequent babies. How about a Welcome to the World party? Or even a ca__serole party or "stock the bookshelf" party would be acceptable. Just not a traditional baby shower.


ChaycesMom - February 9

I have a question that kinda applies to this subject. I am 12 weeks pg with my 2nd, my first will be 3 in Oct. I gave away or sold my son's clothes, just figured we were happy weith one and didnt want another. Just after my son's 2nd b-day we decided that we did want another and I got pregnant in Nov/Dec. Is it ok to have another shower for maybe just some clothes as I already have the most of the big stuff? Not saying I couldnt use the help getting new clothes.


snickelfritz - February 9

It's really not proper (etiquette-wise) to have a second shower. Officially, I believe the only exceptions are if the new baby is 10+ years younger than the youngest child or if the current pg is twins. I'm in a tricky situation since my children will be so close together that my son will still be using a lot of our baby items. But still, it's inappropriate to have a second shower. Don't worry though... you'll probably still get lots of clothes!


snickelfritz - February 9

Oh, and this is also a surprise pregnancy... my second pregnancy on a birth control method. We weren't planning on having any more either.


ChaycesMom - February 9

Thank you.


oz - February 10

yeh i agree with everyone else. I dont really think it is appropriate unless there is a BIG age gap. I think some people just get a little greedy and expect presents etc. True friends and family will buy a gift (clothes,toy etc) even if it was your 5th child.


Lisastar9 - February 10

If somebody is going to throw you a shower why not.


me - February 10

My two cents...I don't think a second shower should be expected from the mother, especially if the babies are less than 5 years apart. I think it is cheesy and looks selfish to expect that. It is your baby and you are supposed to care and pay for it, not others, even if you need new clothes for another gender. It is ultimately your responsibility. However, having said that, if someone wants to throw you more than one shower, let them. It is nice when people get you things because they want to , not because they have to, and of course it is always appreciated when they do. Just my opinion. Congrats!


ChaycesMom - February 10

I dont think any of us said that we expect one, we just want to know if it is ok. I have only had one other friend that has had a baby, so I dont really know what the procedure is. I already planned on going to the Childrens Orchard, a second hand shop, for this baby's clothes.


krc - February 10

I agree with lisastar..if someone else throws you one than sure. But not throw one yourself. I think it would be more for the social aspect and if it was the opposite s_x some new clothes, diapers and stuff. Most baby toys are unis_x. Now if the mother wasn't expecting a second child and gave all her stuff away than sure...i'd throw one. If your friends already know you have everything than there's no big deal cuz obviously they wont buy what she already has.


brandy0903 - February 10

i am not sure about what is right or wrong and so i have to ask also...... i did not have a shower with my son (he will be 9yrs in a few days) and i am due with my 2nd in Sept., is it ok for me to have a shower?or is it better if someone else throws me a shower?


dez - February 11

I have a 14 month old little girl and am due in march with a baby boy, and I am having a baby shower again for the boy. I am not inviting alot of the same people as last time, because with my daughter is more of a family thing. This time it is mostly friends that I have made since then. Everything helps, and obviously if you are having a different s_x baby then you still need clothes. Anyone going knows that you have a 1 year old and you dont need a crib or anything big like that. But whats wrong with getting together having a little fun, eating and them bringing your new baby a little outfit.


Shawna E - February 11

My sister had a shower for her second son, about 7 years after she had her first. Same gender, not a 10 year gap, and no one batted an eye. One thing that I think helped was that it was a "different" kind of party... not the traditional women-only shower. We invited ALL of the family and close friends, including guys and little and older kids, too. It was like a big barbecue/family reunion. Honestly, she got more stuff (and more useful stuff) than she did during her first shower, and many more people showed up as well. It was fun, and seemed like a real celebration of the new life because everyone was involved! If someone wants to host a shower for you, but you feel awkward about it because you just had one not too long ago, request one of these "different" kinds of shower! They can have a totally different look and feel. I sort of wanted one like that instead of the traditional, but I knew that my husband would feel incredibly awkward opening gifts in front of all those people, so I said that the women-only would be just fine. By the way, a cousin of mine has two little boys, only about 2 years apart (maybe less). She had a shower for each of them, and no one seemed to think it was rude or out of line. Everyone knew she had the big basic items AND plenty of clothes, too, so she got lots of books, toys, gift certificates, and lots and lots of diapers!


M.A. - February 12

The women in my church are having a baby shower/luncheon for me in a couple of weeks. Mine aren't too far apart, but they're different gender! I'm so excited!



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