Baby Shower Feud With Inlaws

16 Replies
help - March 23

my best friend and her husband are having a baby in august. i am going to be the godmother and i am planning her shower, thing is i am including her mother in law and her mom in all this but her mother in law wants to take it out of my hands. his family lives in the city in one state and her family lives in a town in the next state over. there is only about a 45minute drive in between her family and his, he moved to her town when they got married but his mother wants to have the shower in their city. shes not from there and i know she wants her shower near her town but now i am arguing with her mother in law. she wants to take control of it and pay for it so she can have it in her city. should i just let her to just keep the peace? or should i voice my opinion some more. i was going to have it in our state near the border bridge so that way its even for both sides but if its in their state i don't think much of her family is going to go because its in the city where there is no parking and they don't know how to get around. i don't think it should be there being as she is not from there and would feel more comfortable in her home state. uuuuggghhh. some advice pleeeeeaaaassseee. thanks.


Gena - March 23

How annoying! Tell yher you've already started making plans for the baby shower and if she would like to help she can. But having it in the city doesen't make sense. I hate going into the city and hate parking in it even more. I wouldn't back down on this one. It's not your mother in law. Hope all works out.


Lynn - March 24

Tell her that she can have a shower for HER side of the family & friends in the city & in the meantime, she's more than welcome to come to the shower you are planning in your town. I know exactly what you are going through. My monster-in-law can be quite bossy and controlling at times.. you'll be doing your friend a favor, if you let the mother-in-law take control NOW, before the baby is even born, imagine what she's going to be like after the baby is here! Definitely DON'T bakc down on this one...


Liz - March 24

I am from another state and had 2 family showers (i in my hometown and one where I have lived since college graduation) then my best friend hosted an evening "couples shower" for us w/ friends only.It was fun and casual! Could you have a small get together like that and let your the Mother-in-law have her shower to save the peace? Great luck!


MandyD - March 24

Girl, don't back down! Has your friend told her MIL that she wants to have the shower in her hometown? If not, maybe she should speak up for you. Or is it a surprise? How far along will your friend be at that time? Maybe you could make the point that you need to keep it close to her home, so that if anything happens, she is closer to the hospital/dr, etc. Don't let the possessive MIL take over!! : )


Lou - April 6

That’s a mother-in -law for you some people are fortunate to get the one who know there place and then there’s the one that your dealing with .Let her know plans of location has already been made anything for her to let go .I think she should be glad you was nice enough to let her get involve


Sammy - April 6

oooo I hate that! The dreaded MIL. If it isn't a surprise, I think you should talk to the mom-to-be on this one. Does she let MIL have what she wants often? She might just want you to let MIL do what she wants to make her own life easier. If it is a surprise, tell MIL that if she'd like to have her own shower in the city she's more than welcome, but in the meantime, you'd love for her to attend your shower! (Insert painfully innocent smile here.) P.S. Making country people go into the city is like pulling teeth. If MIL cares an ounce about DIL and her family, she'll back off and compromise.


grandma - April 6

sence you going to be the godmother of that baby, you should my the decision on where it should be located. in my opinion it will be better for yall to have it in yall go to her mother for a second opinion in also if she agree with you, you in her should take it up with his mother because. both family stay 45min alway to come to were yall stay imagine her mother have to drive another 45min to get there so his mom should understand what you coming from.


toes - April 6

to grandma--hunh?


!! - April 6

My response to grandma exactly! I can tell she is from the south, but that grammar!! For a grandma that is just terrible! Don't mean to be picky, but we ought to be able to at least understand what a person is saying!


tiffani - April 6

A bit unfair to a__sume someone with poor grammar is from the south. Although I second the huh??? to grandma.


X - April 6

Ask your best friend in confidence and leave it at that. YOU decide in the end since you were asked.


!! - April 6

I suggest that she is from the south, because I am from the south, and the term ya'll is from southern dialect. I am not a__suming she is from the south because of her poor grammar. If that was the case, then I would be suggesting that I myself had poor grammar.


c.a.r. - April 6

She can do her own shower for her own people. Let her know that YOUR shower will be in YOUR state, for YOUR friends and anyone who can make it. Make sure she knows she is invited, but that you will take care of the details. I personally had 4 baby showers w/ my 1st. DON'T BACK DOWN!


tara - April 6

I think that its fair to have it in mid way for all friends and family to be able to come - and I'm sure that's what your friend wants as well. You should tell her that you picked that location to make sure that everyone is able to make it and if she still doesn't agree she can have her own shower where she likes later on but that she and evryone esle is still welcomed to this one.


grandma - April 7

yall just get off my back okay!!!!!!!!!


Lou - April 7

Look to make everybody happy then they should have 2showers there is nothing wrong with that but if everyone can’t agree then that would be a good idea (double the gift). As for the comments on Grandma she just trying to keep it real if you don’t understand what she is trying to say then just let it be. Sometimes I think people on this site enjoy talking about other people and there comments instead of answering the question that are being asked by someone who would really appreciate your answer.



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