Baby Shower For Second Baby

42 Replies
nhb - May 10

I had a baby in May of 2004, and am 12 weeks (13 weeks on Wed 5/11) along again; I had a baby shower for my son last April. What are opinions regarding another family shower for this baby? Opinions regarding having a shower if having another boy, or a shower if I'm having a girl this time are also valued :) Thanks ladies (and the few gentlemen out there), I always appreciate the help I get from you.

 

Maleficent - May 10

ettiquette says one shower per mommy for life. if your family is the "mrs manners" type a second shower may not be well recieved. my personal feelings are that every baby and birth is worthy of a celebreation. as far as i'm concerned you have my permission to shower away.

 

nhb - May 10

Thanks--I'm not even so concerned about gifts (although if we have a girl I'm going to be in a world of trouble clothing-wise!). I think I should get one either way, but no presents if it's a boy and maybe an outfit (from Walmart or Target which would be like $5 to $10 on sale!); but it's weird--my family doesn't want to throw me one, but my (few) friends do. They all live 175 miles away though, so my two friends wouldn't be able to throw me one by themselves b/c they don't have the room. I hope that doesn't sound selfish--I just know that's how I would feel for someone else, and even if they had a same-s_x baby, I'd still probably bring a little something. But hey--diversity makes the world go round, after all, right? Thanks for the input though :)

 

nhb - May 10

Sorry that was supposed to say "maybe an outfit if it's a girl"

 

Jenn.. - May 10

I am with Maleficent on this one, I think there should be this celebration with every baby. I think we would be the minority with that thought though and many might frown upon it. Maybe your family, a friend, or even you could host a "welcoming party" that way you have the memorable celebration without people thinking you just want gifts out of it....and I am sure you would still get gifts.

 

Julie - May 10

I say no if you just had a baby in 2004. The only way I see having a 2nd baby shower is for twins or if this is a second marriage or if you haven't had a baby in like 10 years. I think it is asking too much of friends and family to come bearing gifts. I think every birth is worthy of celebrating too but you shouldn't throw a shower with formal invites. Perhaps you and your girlfriends want to get together and have a brunch or something? I am due for my second baby in Oct. and have a 3 year old little boy. My mom and mother in law are planning on taking me to a nice brunch with my sisters. As far as gifts go when you have the baby you'll always have friends and family who bring you gifts in the hospital and I think having a second baby shower is sort of pushing it. Besides you aren't supposed to plan on having a shower yourself someone is supposed to throw one for you. No offense but I personally always have some shower, wedding, graduation or event for some friend or family member sometimes even a couple of times a month and I would hate to seem greedy to anyone by having a second shower. Gift buying gets expensive.

 

nhb - May 10

Well, I didn't mention originally in the question, but did a few posts down--I live 175 miles away from my family and friends, so they're NOT coming down when I have the baby--my parents and one sister might, but that's it; so no one will be able to welcome the baby unless we have a "shower" although again, I did mention in another post a few down (sorry I forgot to write it originally) that I'm not so concerned about gifts, just like a few people have noted, the celebration to welcome the baby. I've heard of people planning their own showers though--is that wrong then for them to do? I don't think it is--I'd do it if they lived closer. But I guess it's not a big deal, I just thought they'd be more excited for me than they are.

 

monica - May 10

I think every baby deserves a celebration. I had one in 2000 and my sister is throwing me a shower in June and then a friend wants to throw me another one. I dont want to hurt their feelings so I am not going to say no to them. I thankful to have such nice family and friends. I was not planning on having anymore kids after my son, so I gave away almost everything, but decided last year to give my son a brother. Financially we are tight right now so diapers would be greatly appreciated.

 

Eryn - May 10

You family probably doesn't think they need to throw another shower just because it's not normally done. You could just disguise the shower by having a "welcome party" or pregnancy celebration. Instead of having people brings gifts just have them bring diapers. But I don't think people would mind having a shower as long as they weren't expected to spend more money.

 

Misty - May 10

Wow, I never knew you were only supposed to have one shower ever! That sucks!! My son was born over two years ago though and I live somewhere else. Thank goodness I have friends up here that WANT to throw me a shower. Funny as it may sound it almost seems like sometimes some of them are just as excited as me. I guess I got pretty lucky. I should do something for them at the shower to show them how much I appreciate their support and their caring.

 

Sonya-edd 10/12/05 - May 10

I was always under the impression that you only have one shower, but having said that.....it seems that rule is no longer true. My friends started a tradition for the second baby of having a "luncheon" at a favorite restaurant and if someone wants to bring something little (diapers,outfit, etc) then great. If not, we still think it is a great way to celebrate the new life which should be the whole point in the shower. Good Luck.....

 

Lovely - May 11

So... where does that put me? I had my son almost 6 years ago. No one threw me a shower, because everyone thought someone else would do it, and I was told that i couldn't do it myself. I never had a shower. Period. Now, I am pregnant again, but I have lost 3 trying to get here. As a result, we got rid of every st_tch of baby stuff we had. If it doesn't fit a 5 year-old, we don't have it. It was too painful of a reminder that we weren't having a baby, so we gave EVERYTHING away. We are starting out like this is my first baby! What do we do if family feels like we aren't 'ent_tled' to a shower, since most of them probably don't remember not coming to one before!!!

 

Misty - May 11

Well Lovely, you could pehaps just ask your parents if they would be willing to host a baby shower for you. You wouldn't be throwing it yourself, just asking someone else to, so that shouldn't be an issue. Plus....you could really really use it. I would personally be disapointed in everybody that knows you if they don't do something for you now that you are finally getting the little miracle you have been trying for for so long. GL.

 

chel - May 11

Etiquette is changing. It is perfectly acceptable to have a shower for every child. Why should you not celebrate a child because it's the second or third?

 

EAM - May 11

I threw a baby shower for my sister-in-law for her 2nd child. She came only 16 months after her first child. I invited family from both her side and my brothers side. I worked with her mom on who she thought would be appropriate to invite. It was a small shower (15 people) in which both males and females attended. We had a cookout, ate cake and celebrated the new baby. She was VERY appreciative and surprised. I think that "old school" etiquette has changed and people do what makes them happy "now-a-days." Good Luck and happy celebrating!

 

Kimmy - May 11

I had a baby shower in april of last year when i was 7 months pregnant, anyway i carried full-term and lost the baby during delivery (I had quite aew differnt complications). I was having a boy the last time so I have LOT'S of boy clothes and I have a car seat and stroller all put away in storage. This time around everything seems to be going just fine (although I am only 10 weeks) I have had 2 u/s's already and everything is normal (not like the last time). I would like to have another shower, but I also dont know how my family will feel about it.

 

nhb - May 11

Thanks everyone for posting; I hope you all get showers if you want them and don't if you don't want them, although like most of you, I'd just like for this baby to have a celebration too; kind of like a pre-birth first birthday party :) I like to visit w/ my family and friends, but b/c I live so far away, it's hard to see them often, especially my extended relatives. I'll try talking to my mom and sister about it to see if they could just send out word maybe one day when I can come up and they can all get together too so we can all visit. Thanks again for all the help.

 

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