Being Talked Out Of Natural Labor

11 Replies
Maddie - May 23

Question: My best friend has been very helpful to me, as far as giving advice for my pregnancy questions. She was a young mom too (19rs.old) and she had her baby about a year ago. Well...I'm 21 and my due date is June 15th...I am thinking of NOT having an epidural...she is just beside herself about this. She can't figure out WHY I would want to do such a thing. I told her I want a quick labor...and epidurals sometimes slow a labor down. She comes back with...yeah but they give you pitocin to speed up contractions. I tell her that I want to be more ACTIVE in my labor...she says "you'll be fine...they tell you exactly when to push, and you just do it". She also told me that you have to have an IV stuck in you for fluids why not have an epidural. I didn't really know what to come back with. I don't want on because I thought there were more pros than cons. Every woman I've ever asked whose had both types...medicated and unmedicated...say they'd go natural over epidural any day. I just want to know why?


to maddie - May 23

ultimatly it is up to you. i know a few girls who initially wanted to go natural, and the pain just became to unbearable for them, and ended up getting an epidural. i think that you just need to wait and see how you feel at that time, and then make your decision. thats all i can really tell you. women get epidurals all of the time, and the babies end up fine. so i wouldnt worry too much. i hope that you make the decision that is best for you, and not listen to what your friend says that you should do. good luck!


Lynn - May 23

You do not HAVE to get an IV for fluids. You can decline this at the time they try to give it to you. They will go over all of the "risks" of NOT getting an IV and then make you sign a waiver. I won't be getting an IV either. I had a friend who initially wanted to go drug free, decline the IV and got some huge lecture on everything that could happen. Turned out she needed to get a c-section anyway and when it cam time to do the epidural, she wasn't informed of ANY possible risks or side effects of it (&no it wasn't an emergency c-section, they had plenty of time to explain the risks to her they just didn't). AFter, she asked why they didn't give her the same "lecture" on the risks of the epi & the nurses told her that "usually by the time someone gets the epidural, they don't care much about the possible risks, so we usually don't bother". Funny, how when you decline something that makes the hospital money they try to talk you into getting it, but when you opt to do a procedure that they make a good amount of money on, noone wants to "scare" you into backing out of it. If a drug free birth is what you feel is the best option, safest option, etc, then by all meand go for it. Everyone will tell you that epidurals are "perfectly safe" for the baby. But if you have done your own research on them, then you know that they aren't. Its just a trade off of risk vs. reward. Whats more important to you, avoiding th possible complications and risks a__sociated with an epidural or laboring virtually painfree hopefully, it the epi works right?


KH - May 23

you do not need an IV for fluids. try not getting the epidural, but leave it open that you might need it. I was in labor for days, so I ended up getting one and I felt disappointed - you never know what's going to happen in your birth, so just leave it open and tell your friend nicely to mind her business and keep her negative comments to herself :)


Anna - May 23

I have noticed that many women get very upset if another woman decides to labor and deliver differently than she did, especially when it comes to medication and monitors, etc. I think a lot of your friend's emotions are due to the fact that somehow we are conditioned to perceive that someone else doing it differently is a condemnation of the choices we have made. Perhaps she feels that if you go without pain medication you will feel superior or "more of a real woman" or something. A lot of these perceptions seem to get into the b___st vs. bottle debate, too. I know what my own choices were both times I delivered, and why I made them (I went the natural route and b___stfed), but don't feel more womanly or authentic than my sisters-in-law, one with two planned c/sections and one with two medicated and monitored hospital births. More than anything you need to trust your own instincts about who you are and what you feel. Then make sure your friend knows you love her and think she is a fine Mom. It's easier to choose if nobody feels condemned or coerced.


Julie - May 23

It is up to you. My sister has a medical condition in which you can't have any pain medication so she delivered all of her children natural. I saw all the pain and agony she went through and opted for the epidural myself. I was confused like you and didn't know which way to go but when my water broke and I got to the hospital and started experiencing terrible pains I got the epidural fell asleep for about 3 hours and then pushed out my baby pain free. It was great for me! I experienced no pain only joy! Good luck!


To Maddie - May 23

In my situation, I was administered an epidural and had my baby 1 hour later. It sped up the process by simply relaxing my entire body. I found labor to be very painful (and I thought I could handle any/all pain) and will happily accept the epidural again. In any event, choose whatever method you are most comfortable with, regardless of your friends comments and persuation. Good luck to you!!


Davida - May 23

I had 2 babies w/no epidural because frankly it scared me to have the needle in my back more than the thought of labor. I have a bad back and had sciatic pain with my 9 pounder but luckily my labors have been quick. I don't know what it's like to have more than 5 hrs of labor but once you go past a certain point in your labor the option is no longer open to you! I would say talk with your OB throughout the process. Inquire about alternatives to a total epidural. I understand more women are looking for options! Good luck!


April - May 23

My doctor actually told me that it's better TO have medication... because if you get the right one it actually speeds labor up. Since it doesn't hurt as bad, you can concentrate on pushing, instead of feeling pain. He did NOT recommend an epidural however, because these numb the lower half and you can't even feel when you're supposed to push. He suggested a spinal block, because it numbs the pain, yet you can still feel the pressure so you know when to push. He said he's had mothers come up to him after labor and thank him for recommending a spinal block.


J - May 23

when I was in labor the nurses pushed for pain medication because once you get past a certain point you can't get it. They say it makes it much easier why be a hero?


Sherry - May 23

You can always tell your well meaning friend to be quiet and that the decision is yours and yours alone. I'm having twins and am being pushed into the same thing, but know that knowledge is power and have read everything I can get my hands on to be prepared.


Kate - May 23

I don't think you will know yourself until you go into labor. I went through all the birthing cla__ses was well informed on both natural and not and up until I went into labor I hadn't made up my mind. I watch a lot of TLC and Discovery Channel to watch the births and do see a lot of women who go natural and then change their mind at the end or see them in sooo much pain. I went into labor very quickly and opted for the epidural because my husband was very comforting. I was terrified of the epidural just the thought of a needle in my back was scary but the nurses and my husband rea__sured me I would be OK. I got the epidural and will get it again with this pregnancy it was awesome! I enjoyed every moment of my labor comfortably! It is your decision.



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