Bulimia Relapse

20 Replies
n - November 10

I've been bulimic on and off for years. Whenever I get a sugar craving, I binge uncontrollably and then go to the bathroom. I am now 18 weeks pregnant and I haven't had a bout since before I got pregnant. I got so out of control with chocolate that I ate a whole box and then got sick. I know a lot of women get sick with morning sickness, but I feel so depressed that I let myself down by forcing myself to get sick and caving in to my disease while pregnant. This was the second time in a month. I feel awful.


J - November 10

I know what you mean. I'm SO afraid that if I can't keep my m/s under control, and I keep puking, I'm going to fall back into my old habits. The thought has crossed my mind a lot though, that my hubbie wouldn't know it was the bulimia, because he'd just a__sume it was the m/s. So far, I've been able to fight the temptations, but it's getting harder. I'm only 12 weeks pregnant, and my m/s usually lasts until about 16 weeks or so. I hope I can stay in control for the next 4 weeks... or really beyond that. It doesn't help that I'm the biggest that I've ever been before. :( Good Luck.


??? - November 10

you should have seeked professional help BEFORE deciding to have a baby.


kris A. - November 10

Please ignore ??? ... who obviously has no idea what eating disorders do ... but having said that - do seek counseling to help yourself through this pregnancy. As your body goes through the changes that are difficult for every woman, you will face additional and different pressures. Only a professional will be able to help you with the goal of eating both well enough, and keeping it down, so that it benefits your growing child. Soon you'll feel your baby moving within you and you'll feel a protective bond with your child which may help give you strength to resist these powerful urges. Other times you will feel so bloated and sick and full (we all do) that it may be very difficult to stop. Please seek a support group for this. my prayers are with you.


n to J & Kris - November 10

Yes there are some people on here who just don't think (???) before they join a discussion. Who needs that. We seek advice on here, not scolding or meaness. It must be the people who answer every post even though they shouldn't because they're on here for internet interaction and out of boredom, not real pregnancy concern. I don't know what came over me. I usually have these incredible urges to binge once or twice a year and purge afterwards because I feel sick from over eating, not so much because I'm afraid of weight gain. It's like I go crazy for sugar because I'm very strict on not eating it at all. So I don't have regular bulimic fits or anything. It's weird. It's like being a 2 time a year bulimic. But it just happened this year and I will keep it under control. The need for sweets have been overwhelming lately. J, it's hard to accept more weight gain while pregnant. I am thin by nature, but it's still hard having so many body changes. We have hubbies who love us no matter what, so I guess we just have to keep telling ourselves that any setbacks are just setbacks and we'll be ok. You sound strong and aware, so I think you'll be able to get through this pregnancy in fine form.


Anon - November 10

I suffered from bulemia before i got pregnant for 2 years. I have not had a bout since becoming pregnant and the reason has a lot to do with all the research I did on how forcing yourself to throw up can damage your espohogus, your stomach lining, and put such strain on your heart that you can literally have attacks later on in life. I believe in the scare tactic. I suggest you read up on this. When you see this scary stuff and realize there is a baby in there feeling the effects of your heart being strained like that it is enough to just turn away from those sweets in disgust. Well, at least it worked for me. I hope it works out for you.


Nicole - November 10

I have also struggled w/ bulimia for 4 years but I have not had a bout in about a year (my husband found out and kept a close eye on me) but now I am worried b/c I am gaining weight again but I just won't let myself no matter how angry I get at myself i look at it as this is the only time in your life when you can eat and not feel guilty. good luck to all


Lisa - November 10

You need to see a doctor. You can not be throwing up your food while you are pregnant. Morning sickness is a natural reaction from your body; you are purging. I know you don't want to hurt your baby and you want to do the best you can for it. You are probably a gorgeous young women and this is the one time when you don't have to feel guilty, about anything! If you want that chocolate go ahead and eat it, or the ice cream, or the chicken fingers. You don't have to make excuses to yourself or to anyone around you. Please make sure to take your prenatals as you will need the extra nutrients for yourself and your baby right now. I wish you all the best and stay strong.


J - November 10

I used to purge my food 4-5 times a day, and my husband found out and freaked. I hated the pain that I was causing him, and that was enough to make me quit. It took a little while but I did. That was just over a year ago. Since then, I gained weight because I was so used to living on so little food. So, I knew I would gain weight. But now, since I'm already throwing up with the morning sickness.... I TRY my HARDEST to just stay on the couch whenever I feel it coming (to try to avoid throwing up). I've really been worried that if I start throwing up daily again, even though it's the morning sickness causing it, that when I start feeling better, I'll just keep doing it. I hope that I do feel baby moving soon. I'm sure if I have a reminder like that, I can keep it under control. Like I said, I haven't started purging on purpose again, and nor do I intend to. I care more about having a healthy baby, than worrying about my weight right now. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who struggles with this. Whenever I'm out running errands, I'll see someone or something to trigger those unhealthy thoughts. It's good to be able to come on here if I'm lacking the strength I need (which I really was today). THANK YOU. You guys help more than you know.


Nicole - November 11

J- I know how you feel when my husband found out I felt so bad and it took me about a year or so to stop completely and then I lost 50lbs so that helped but now I am going to gain weight again so that makes me nervous. I think once you see a picture of the baby and feel it move it will be the motivation you need to not purge again taht was my motivation to quit smoking. you have support here.


to n and others - November 11

think of it this way...this is one chance in your life where you can gain as much weight as you want (obviously with in reason...but still), and NOT feel gross or quilty about it...think about the fact that you are also gaining this weight for the sake of your baby...throwing up too much (as you all know) is no good for you...even women who have severe morning sickness because of reasons beyond there control need more care, or meds than women who have mild m/s. take care, and ALWAYS think of your babies health...and you all will get through this, i know how hard it is...i weighed 76# for 3 years before anyone decided to step in and intervene with my situation, but with a good healthy diet and excercise you can overcome this...before pregnancy i was at a healty 112# and looked and felt great...and i think i am much s_xier now at 125# (pregnancy weight) and a little baby belly than ever. good luck to you ladies, and i will keep you all that suffer from this in my thoughts. good luck, and congrats on your pregnancies!


belle - November 11

I just wanted to say that I feel for you. I have not had bulimia BUT I am a compulsive binge eater and I know how horribly out of control it feels. I would definitely adivse you to seek some help while you are only in the beginning stages so it doen't progress. You will feel much better knowing that you are doing all that you can for the health of your baby. Best of luck to you!!!


Not pregnant :P - November 18

Maybe my reply is of minimun interest but what about former bulimics who didn't induce vomit but pushed food up with their stomach? It's has nothing to do with feeling sick. Maybe I'll be safe if I didn't damage my body with the eating diorder. Someone said something about the scare tactic, it may work, when 2 of my teeth broke (one on the back cracked with candy, on on the front just got to thin and a slice split from the rest) plus I felt my heart and my liver weren't doing ok and I had those symptoms too long I got scared and it started to fade. For the most part I reasoned how the disorder had long lost it's purpose (told myself everyday for years ) bc I was no longer afraid to face things so it wasn't saving me, maybe helping me put myself together to cope with every day life, but still it wasn't helping but making me feel sick most of the time. Sorry to post in a pregnancy forum, oca__sionally it crosses my mind I ruined my body beyond repair and I'll never have kids bc I didn't have my period for 11 months when I was 19-20 :s I think it's very sad when I see skinny pregnant women working out like crazy at the gym, I always suspect they have an eating disorder.


A - November 18

I have been bulimic ever since I can remember. I remember feeling really full after thanksgiving when I was like 8 or 9 yr. old. But I've never had to induce vomitting. It always came very easily, I just squeezed my stomach muscles and I could throw up just like that. It got really bad for a while I was throwing up everything I ate like 15x a day. It's been alot better in the past year or so. But now I am 6wks pregnant and I haven't thrown up once. I don't have any m/s yet and hopefully I can stay strong. I am afraid to gain too much weight though.


Turkey - November 19

Why do people say that bulimia or anorexia are a disease? It didn't just grow on you, like cancer. You tried it, liked the outcome, and how it made you feel or look, and kept doing it. That looks more like a habit to me. Why isn't smoking, or doing drugs a disease? You try it, like the way it makes you feel, and keep doing it. So therefore, it's a dirty habit that's hard to break. And people have no pity on you if you're addicted do they?I've tried bulimia. Didn't work for me. But I don't sit around and feel sorry for myself, saying, "Poor me. I've gained three pounds.I feel like barfing!". I think people who are like this get way too much sympathy, and attention. You should just stop barfing, or start eating and get over your outside appearance. In the end, we'll all end up being a pile of bones anyway. And if you want to look so much like skin and bones that you make yourself sick, or starve yourself, it may just happen in a way you didn't expect. Happy eating at Thanksgiving! And give thanks, whether you really eat or not!


A - November 19

Dear Turkey, you obviously don't really know anything about bulimia. When I was and infant my mom said it scared her to death because I couldn't keep anything down but the dr. said it was ok if I was gaining weight. I've been throwing up ever since I was really little. I didn't even know there was a name for what I was doing until I was in jr. high. It's not like you can wake up one morning and say, "oh, I think I'll be bulimic today" so don't talk about things you know nothing about, ok? And another thing, bulimics are usually not thin. They are of normal weight or overweight. Its not the same as anorexia. It is a disease. I came by it honestly. The flap on top of my esophegus has never been able to shut tight. The dr.s said that. So for not everyone it is a choice. If something came really easily to you and you had emotional issues and self confidence problems and doing what came easily to you was a way to control SOMETHING in your life and make you feel better you'd probably do it too. I found out when I was 23 that my mom was bulimic most of her life too. I did a research paper on the possibility that it may a genetic predisposition.


be carefu - November 21

I had a freind in college who was bullemic and shde had a couple of miscarriages - the dr. attributed it directly to her eating disorder.



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