Damned If I Do Damned If I Dont

10 Replies
AFRAID - September 14

im 11 weeks pregnant. im was very excited, but when i told my bf he wasnt. He told me to get rid of it. I told him no, im havin it no matter what! He got pretty mad and well we wont go into detail as to what happened next. But needless to say if i dont have an abortion.....hes going to take things into his own hands...........please help..........im not a teenager im 21 and very capable of taking care of this child even if it means on my own! Im just afraid of what may happen...........HELP


k - September 14

i hope you the best in the world but there is one thing that he has to remember It takes two to make a baby and it does not take two to raise the child if he does not want to have the baby that is his problem...Tell him like i told my boyfriend at the time Now Husband If you dont want this baby then you dont want me...It is as easy as that. IF you would like to chat with me because i have been in your situation feel free to e mail me directly [email protected] it or not i have been in your situation a couple times actually once i was 18 but still very capable like you are of taking care of a baby..email me maybe we can work something out that will work for you


Viv - September 14

k has good advice, but I fear that your b/f may be more prone to violence than hers. In the worst scenario you may have to move out and get a restraining order. Only you know how to handle him. Maybe you can make like you are going along with him, and get him to change his mind over a week or two. Personally, I would be leery of getting into a long term relationship with someone like this. Did you have an abusive childhood? That can often make us fall in love with the wrong people as adults.


AFRAID - September 14

thank you viv and k for responding!! I'm going to try and move out soon my bf has become very violent (physically and mentally) Im just afraid. can a little peice of paper really keep him from hurting me or worse? Im going to try an act quickly and get out but i cant tell my family so its going to have to be done on my own!! I really dont want to get into details about what hes done, its really hard to talk about with out getting worked up and teary about it. But please I do need help or atleast support right now. Im afraid and i do feel alone!!!! if its alright k id really like to email someone and talk more private instead of posting some of the stuff that isnt so pleasant to read about but i would like to talk about??


fs86 - September 14

Okay, this guy has GOT to go. If he doesn't want the baby, he should have thought twice before having unprotected s_x (I'm not saying it's all his fault, but if you're happy, I'm not going to put you down either. ^_~ ). Anyway, I must admit that I'm a little younger than you (a few months shy of 19), but one of my best friends went through an abusive relationship last year, so I'm open to talk too. My e-mail is [email protected] . I hope that everything works out for you, and if you ever wanna just get things off your chest, I'll be glad to listen.


Viv - September 14

You can e-mail me at [email protected] I would like to hear your story. See if there is a spouse abuse center in your community. If not, we have one here that might take you in.


AFRAID - September 15

viv i will email u tomorrow if thats ok. I really need to open up alot has changed for the worse in the past 3 weeks. maybe if i talk to you it will be easier to open up more? please watch for my email!! I have to warn u it may be long (lots of reading) if ur not up for it ill understand.


April - September 15

I Agree with what everyone has been saying on this post. It may be in your best interest to not tell him that you are keeping.. and make him think you are getting rid of it. I would be planning your leaving carefully. You dont want him to suspect a thing, or he may get violent. I was once in a violent relationship, when I was younger, about 16. I do know that if they dont get what they want, they will make sure they do and dont care how and who they hurt. Its a sickness that they have and cannot beat it without help. You CAN do this on your own. You said u cant let your parents know... so you have someplace to go... May I suggest as far away as possible. You certainly dont want to be running into this guy anytime soon. Good luck sweetie!!! You are doing the right thing!


Afraid - September 16

To Viv I tried to email you but i got a notifacation back that it failed im not sure why. But ill try again soon.


k - September 17

It is fine to e mail me that is why i put it in my response i can always make time to listen...People says thats my strong point...I wish you the best of luck my dear and just think about the positive things...you asked could a piece of paper keep him from hurting you...I can Honestly Say No it cant Depending on what state you are in that is. But i also know that the peice of paper that you are talking about can add more fuel to the fire he already has and just make him more angery I think that your best bet is to get out and not tell him where you are that way you are known to be safe..I am not sure because i have not recived a e mail from you why you cant tell your family they might actually be able to help you more if you talk to them about the whole situation unless they are like most families i have delt with these days and say you got yourself into it you get yourself out of it...but that is what they say before everything happened What if they Knew what was going on now do you think that they would change their mind? You really have to think about that one sometimes the answer may suprize you...Keep your Chin up looking forward to your e mails [email protected]


Viv - September 17

Oops! My bad. I had a typo in that e-mail address. I was wondering why I hadn't heard. Since then I made a new e-mail. Try [email protected] I look forward to hearing from you.



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