Desperate Housewife

20 Replies
Mary - September 13

I am due in a couple of week and have to tell you I have had enough! I have another toddler and am sooo sick of sitting home and being miserable. I quit my job years ago when my son was born and don't know how to keep myself occupied and now I am going to have another one in a few weeks. I just feel so depressed lately and should be so happy. My husband works 24/7 and I am always alone and don't get any help with anything. My husband gets invited to trips, games, etc. Meanwhile I stay home with my son. I am just tired of it. Anyone else in the same boat. By the way my parents live far away and I don't know anyone in the new town in which I live.

 

K - September 13

I hear you. I was in that situation when we moved to a new state 4 years ago. At the time I had a 3 year old a 2 year old and one on the way. I did'nt know anyone!!!! I felt so alone and my husband travelled all the time. The only thing that saved me was joining a Mothers Of Preschoolers cla__s (MOPS). I met lots of women just like me and we could do things with our kids too which was great. Most churches offer these cla__ses. Good luck!!!

 

K - September 13

Oh by the way these cla__ses usually provide free childcare!!!!! You can actually get a whole hour of adult conversation!!!!

 

N - September 13

Mary, that's my life to a T. I have a son who just turned two, and i'm home with him 24/7 while my husband is at work.. I don't get out much because all my friends either live far away, have new babies themselves, or are single and taking the pregnant lady to the bar is just no fun for anyone.. My mom is working two jobs right now, so i only get to see her once every other week or so. To make matters worse, i don't drive, so to get anywhere is two hours in travel time i simply don't have (if i get to go out, i only get a few hours anyway). I'm going crazy here! I have so much housework i can barely do, and i have to pack because i'm moving in a month. I run a dayhome, so i usually have another little girl here during the day, and i can't even take them to the park anymore because it's just too much work for me to run around after 2 kids who are two years old (especially when they run in seperate directions). I am simply exausted! My son is getting his last tooth right now (i will be SO glad when it's over) so he's miserable and there's nothing i can do.. he has done nothing but whine and cry for the last four days, and waking up in the middle of the night because the tylonol wore off.. I can barely sleep as it is, but my husband could sleep through a nuclear war, so it's me getting up at 1am, and 4am.. and then up for the day at 6:30 (and my son isn't even going to bed until 11pm).. I don't know what i'm going to do once the new baby arrives, my husband only gets a week off of work (if that) and i'm guessing most of that time will be spent in the hospital (i am trying for a VBAC, but they're only giving me about a 40% success rate). I told my husband the other day i am going to close the dayhome two weeks early (oct. 14th would be my last day, we're moving on the 15th) and he was all concerned about the money (i do go through an agency, but i am not eligable for maternity leave of any kind) because we budgeted things based on me leaving on the 14th rather than the 1st. I just need that time to myself to pack, and organize, and SLEEP! oh how i miss sleep..... i think i'm about done complaining.. besides, i think the kids are up from their nap ALREADY! (45min is just not long enough)

 

Mary - September 13

I'm sure glad I am not the only one. I just feel like I should be sooo happy but I am seriously depressed it helps to know that their are other women out there. I have looked into moms groups in my area but I would have to drive 30 minutes to the closest group. All my girlfriends live far away and my sister in law who lives close has 3 kids and is newly divorced so she is sooo busy she doesn't have time for me. My husband thinks that nothing he does can make me happy. He hates seeing me this way but what am I going to do?

 

.. - September 13

Hey I am in the same boat...my post was "housewife"...I live 14 hours away from all my family and friends...and it is so hard to get anything done around the house =( I stay home all the time cause I don't drive and don't have anywhere to drive to anyways..I've gotten to the point where I don't even want to make friends here anymore..I just want to sit at home and feel sorry for myself. =S unhealthy, I know

 

geri - September 13

yes..pregnanct with the fourth and the more kids i have the less i feel like that..either i am busier (now with one in school) or older..not sure...volunteer places, get involved in church, etc...join a local preschool a__sociation with mothers nights out..if there is none start one :)

 

CEM - September 13

oh Mary - you're not alone! i'm not even pregnant anymore and i'm still coming here! not that i don't like everyone here, but come on! i live in a foreign country away from all my family and friends, am living out in the country where there's absolutely nobody around (and when there is, they're 80 years old +), i'm alone with 2 little kids and a newborn, and never get out!!!! i know how you feel! what can i say that will help? not much, but if you want to chat....i'm here ;-)

 

Mary - September 13

My hubby just doesn't get it. He is on his way to a game right now and won't be home until late. This is just getting really old.

 

tiffani~49 days to go!! - September 13

I think there are quite a few of us who can relate. I am also a stay at home mom to a 3 yr old, a 20 month old, and due 11-01-05 with baby #3. It's just lonely not working. Atleast when I worked, I could carry on adult conversations and vent when I needed to. My kids don't care what I have to say unless it involves candy, toys, books, or peanut b___ter and jelly. I have friends, but most of them work, so they are only available on a very limited basis. My daughter started preschool today, which will give me an outlet. I think i'll try and get to know the other moms and see if we can coordinate some playgroups and "mommy days" like "K" suggested. We've been to our share of play groups, but I always find them to be filled with June Cleaver/ Soccer Mom types who only want to talk about kids. I love my kids, but there's more to my life then comparing notes on when my kids walked, talked, got potty trained, and learned their ABC's. My hubby is going to Las Vegas (company paid) for a week at the end of this month. I was invited, but obviously can't just hop on a plane being 36 weeks pregnant. Besides, what would I do with my kids? So I can also relate to you in that area. Hubby has been a work-a-holic ever since his promotion. I don't want to make him feel bad for working so hard, because his work supports our family, and he takes such pride in his job. I just wish he were here more. Sometimes I feel like a single mom. I have a new found respect for military wives/moms who have to do it all for months at a time. If you need someone to vent to, i'm all ears. Where do you live? :o)

 

Mary - September 13

I totally feel like a single mom. I swear there is something seriously wrong with this picture. I went to college got my degree and had a really good job. I wanted to be with my children so I quit my job to stay home and now I feel as though my life is falling apart. Would I be a better mom if I were to go to work and put my kids in daycare? I would be fulfilled but I would feel guilty and my kids would suffer because of it. So I feel like a human sacrifice! Meanwhile my husband gets promoted is making big bucks, gets invited to dinners, games, vacations, etc. and I sit home to care for the house and kids. I feel like chopped liver. I have tried meeting other moms and most of the church based groups home school their children and have different beliefs than I do. I am tired of feeling alone and my husband knows just how I feel but he still goes on trips...hunting...fishing...snowmobiling...etc. I shouldn't be feeling this way I am ready to give birth to a new baby!

 

Lisa - September 13

I'm tired about hearing how the "poor husbands" have to work so much; that they complain that nothing they do makes their wives happy when what your husband is doing is so obvious!! Yes, you don't work in an office environment but your job is now twice is hard and and is 24/7! He gets invited to all these after hour things like games and dinners when he should be saying atleast once a week that NO I can't go tonight as I am getting a babysitter and my wife and I have plans..or sure I'll go but only if my wife can attend this time as she does not get out as much anymore because of the children, let me call and ASK her if she would like to come as well... ofcourse you're depressed! He should not be leaving you at home with your children alone all the time while he runs around on all these things like a single man, and he knows you don't know anyone in this new place you are at. I bet you both made the decision for you to quit your job..but he made the decision to do what he is doing now. He needs to start being more of a husband instead of a hotel guest.

 

Jen - September 13

WOW!! I am soo in this boat!! I wigged out on my husband last week because I don't think that I am cut out to be a stay at home wife. We have a one year old and we are ttc again, but I just couldn't take not being able to have regular adults around so I went out and got a part time job and it feels great!! I looked all over for a stay at home job and then I relized that I just needed to get out!! I am also going to get my RN license and I start next wednesday!! It feels like a fresh breath of air!!

 

Mary - September 13

The other thing about these husband is that they say they have so much pressure providing for the family. He says "All I do is work for our family". So my reply to that is "Even if you didn't have a family you would still have to work". Hello! My husband could be doing worse out at bars and things but come on! When do I get a break? His idea of watching my son is turning on the football game while I run to the grocery store. I don't know what I am going to do. If I got a part time job just to get out of the house I would pay more in childcare than I would make at a part time job. I am due Oct. 13th and know that once this baby comes and he goes back to work I am going to struggle.

 

chelsey - September 13

Jeepers, its like I was reading my own diary! My hubby is exactly the same. Good for providing financially, but not for much else! Sometimes I feel like a single parent! Well, gotta go make supper for me and the toddler...Daddy's gone out again! Cheers ladies! Damn these men!

 

Amy - September 13

i hear you ladies i have a in home day care and i have 3 of my own and 1 on the way in a day i do ALL my husband works and when he gets home he thinks he is king and just worms the couch so as i run the daycare and take care of my own i'm crazy by 5pm i don't EVER go out or have time just to me

 

J - September 14

Join the club! I feel like I am in the same boat as everyone here!

 

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