Dilemma To Keep Or Not To Keep The Baby

9 Replies
trisha - April 5

I just found out I'm 8 weeks pregnant, and I've been with my boyfriend for over 5 years. However I messed up and hooked up with someone else around the time conception would have occured so I'm almost 99% certain its the other guys. I haven't told either guy yet that I'm pregnant. I don't know what to do. Part of me really wants to keep this baby, however the other part of me does not want to this relationship to end with my boyfriend. I have an appointment to have an abortion on the 21st of April, so I have up till that day to decide what I am going to do. Both guys look like one another would it be wrong to tell my boyfriend that he is the father so I can keep this baby???


rachel - April 5

you shouldn't lie to the boyfriend. my hunch is that there are some problems in your relationship if your "hooking up" with someone else. both guys deserve to know. that baby dosent need to suffer from a mistake you made. if you dont want it, give someone else a chance with adoption, I know several people who desperately want children who cant have them. please be true to yourself and own up to what you've done. the men deserve to know, the baby deserves a chance.


Misty - April 5

I somewhat agree with Rachel, if you got with someone else then there is something missing in your relationship. I don't care how in love with the guy you are, you can love many people. But if something is missing from your relationship now it will still be missing later. Wether you have this baby or not. It sounds like you ought to seriously consider letting the guy know and breaking up with him to figure out what it is that YOU really want out of life. It obviously wasn't what you already had so don't lie to yourself about that. As far as the abortion goes it is ultimately your decision, but I have to say that I think a child of your own is better then any baby you can ever have. That baby will always love you no matter what kind of mistake you make, as long as you are there for it.


D - April 5

There's another girl on this site that has just gone through a similar decision - you might find what she went through helpful. It's on the First Trimester section, the thread is called "Judge My Unborn's Father" the last post at the moment was 4/01/05 at 16:43.


~m~ - April 5

Abortion is a HUGE decision. Ultimately it is your decision. However, here are my 2 cents: I believe there are valid reasons that women have abortions. But not wanting your boyfriend to break up with you isn't one of them. At this point, you have to decide if you are ready for a baby, will your parents be there for you, etc. The boyfriend stuff will work itself out. I would definitely be honest with both guys. Then after the child gets here, maybe you can all 3 chip in for a paternity test. If you can't afford that, call the Maury show. He does those things all of the time for free if you appear on the show. Either way, don't abort a child SOLELY because you want to stay with your bf. As rachel said, your relationship has problems anyway, if you are cheating. Think about the fact that if you abort ONLY to keep your man, then you break up down the road anyway, you will likely regret the abortion. Like I said, it is your decision, and while I personally wouldn't abort (except in rape), I don't try and deny others the right. I am just saying that if you are going to do it, make sure it is for a better reason than this. Good luck! Let us know what you decide.


jenn - April 5

you should keep the baby, if your boyfrient of 5yrs should understand. in he had to do something to you for you to want to cheat in the first place.


toes - April 5

Trish, everything’s already been said that’s worth saying abt whether you should keep the baby, give it up for adoption or get an abortion, so I’m gonna leave that part alone. As for you and your bf, try this—he hooks up with a girl and gets her pregnant. Would you respect him if he kept it from you? Because some how something this serious ALWAYS gets out, whether you snow your bf now or not.


Karen - April 5

This is a hugh decision to make, only you can, because only you can live with the choice. Sometimes the greatest things come to us unexpected and under the most stressful circ_mstances. Maybe this baby is a mildstone in your life and a chance to make a needed change. A friend of mine had a simlar sitution. She was in love with aone guy, they were separated by distance, she slept with another and got pregnant. She dicided to keep the baby. Her and the one she loves remains close and are working things out. All the best and I hope this helps.


C - April 5

I honestly think that you should keep the baby b/c if you cheated on your man in the 1st place there was something missing there.You as a women should come out and let your boyfriend know.Just b/c they look alike and te baby could pa__s as either one of them it doesnt make it right,and once you let them know the one that sticks around is the one you may less think would have.That baby was not asked to be born and also not aborted ..its up to you but do you think you could really have that on your mind .


chyna - April 5

Be strong be strong homegirl. you decided to cheat so now it's time to be a woman about the situations. i'm not saying that you were wrong or right for cheating but what I am saying is you knew what you were doing when and before you did it. now it's time that you step your game up and be real to your self and to the 2 men involved. once that's said and done you'll know what you want and need PS. don't let a man help you decide because he can leave you any day from now and have a child from any other woman let your choice be yours because your child is something that you can hold on to bringing you more joy then any (up and leave when ever he want's to) BOY!!!!!!!!



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