Feel Bad Please Read

15 Replies
J - September 1

My husband and I were laying in bed last night and I asked him how he feels about s_x with me right now. (I'm 31 weeks). I don't know what kind of answer I was expecting but he said " it's kinda a turn off " You could tell he was trying really hard to not hurt my feelings, as I have been making sure he gets some at least 1-2 times a week. I just feel so c__ppy.I feel like I don't want to have s_x anymore. I really didn't want it much before, but I was doing it all for him I just kinda feel like well...what am I doing it for then? I just feel sad. Am I overreacting or just hormonal?

 

C - September 1

J, my dh hasn't touched me since we found out about pg. I am 10 weeks now and found out at 2. He says it is not me but I know it has to be. I wish he would give it a little effort. It's not like I am even showing yet. I know how you feel but you shouldn't let him get you down, I know easier said than done, because I am way down because of this. My s_x drive has always been greater than his, I want it everyday but he is good for once a month. Good luck to you

 

Lissi - September 1

Men have such a way with words don't they? He could have put it a bit better than that. Did he elaborate as to why he finds it a turn off? Maybe he's just worried about hurting you (physically) at the moment? Did you tell him how it makes you feel to be rejected? If you're just having s_x to please him, but aren't really in the mood for it, he could be picking up on this subconsiously, which could be a ma__sive turn off for him. When you love someone, then part of the thrill of s_x is knowing that you're making them feel good. I don't enjoy s_x anymore, because of my size and I feel so ugly. It's probably best just to not get stressed about it and concentrate on other ways of showing affection for each other. Demand lots of kisses and naked cuddles, that kind of thing. It'll all go back to normal eventually, I'm sure.

 

Breanna - September 1

Isn't it funny how they're willing to start a family but rarely seem to care about the emotional needs of others? I'd be honest with your dh about how that hurts your feelings, because it's hard to be pregnant and still feel beautiful. You did ask the question, but that doesn't mean the answer wasn't selfish. Men just don't want to/refuse to understand that it's difficult to transition from a slender body to a huge stomach. Sometimes I get really angry about it, because it's like we made this choice together, but once things got rough I was left to sit on the couch by myself while he went off with his buddies. Thanks. I'm carrying your child.

 

B - September 3

UMP

 

OMG - September 3

put that way , why are you even with him ?You don't like it anyway , I'm sure he'd like to hear that and you're emotional ? women have an interesting way of getting emotional and Breanna : whats that suppose to mean willing to start a family ?

 

J to OMG - September 3

Let me just say I love s_x with my husband but my drive has gone way down since I became pregnant. And I don't understand the response about being emotional. Please be more clear.

 

Erin - September 3

Completely understandable!! Please don't let that previous post bother you. Some women have never been in your shoes and don't understand how it feels. There are guys who are turned on by pg women. Some guys are turned off by it. My husband was one of the latter. I tried to make sure he was pleased, but it wasn't always an emotional, intimate encounter. It took a while after the baby before our s_x life was back to normal. Then, when we got pg (on bc) and m/c, it was right back to no s_x. We are finally beginning to get back to the s_xual intimacy I miss so much. Don't worry about overreacting... your thoughts are VERY normal. Good luck!! Just know that with some hard work, things will get better!

 

crying over you - September 3

contradiction .... ya think ? You love the guy you just don't like how you feel before you got preg and since you got preg . May I suggest he uses a better group of words . Nothing would have brought bigger closure to his statement than if you would have really laughed your head off when he said it ... ya think ?

 

lacy - September 3

probably just hormonal...I mean I am pregnant too, and we look like an egg! ya know? Look at the positive...you are off the hook for s_x for a WHILE....also, after you have the baby, tell him the extra flub is a 'turn off', and you need a little time to 'try and trim down'...but you'd be more than happy to satisfy him by giving him a hand job

 

to omg and crying over you - September 3

You have some issues. does it make you feel better to come on here and make other people feel bad? why don't you just not answer the question at all.

 

to 17:44 post - September 3

sorry but she'll get something positive from it . read slow and see it ! maybe read both posts 50 times each . Don't come here and throw Dijon mustard on choc ice cream unless you think it tastes good . You also a have a big problem with selecting who has issues ......ALOT !

 

J - September 3

Maybe I was not clear in my post about the s_x. This has NOTHING to do with before I got pregnant. When I said I didn't want it much before I meant before the conversation with him. Whatever! I was not the one who bumped up the thread,and I have since had many conversations with my husband about our feelings. We have and always had a great relationship but this pregnancy has changed many things as I am 31 weeks pregnant.

 

clarification versus twisting - September 3

......words . I'm out of here no interest in participating

 

Sara - September 3

My hubby says I look even more s_xy now I said are you crazy I am geeting a belly ect he says yes but I think you having my baby there is very beautiful and he cant wait till I get even bigger I just feel kinda silly in my stockings and high heels now but for my dear hubby I will do it .

 

Nikki - September 3

Like Erin said, some guys are turned on by pg (like sarah's husband) but others aren't. both you and your husband are having normal reactions. Just talk about what you want to happen after the baby is born and make sure you set aside date nights starting as soon as possible. Lots of luck!

 

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