Follow My Head Or My Heart

6 Replies
steeler fan - November 16

I am completely 50-50 on whether or not to have aother baby. I have a beautiful 2 1/2 yr. old daughter and a 10 month old son. If I have a 3rd, I would like to try and conceive next spring/early summer. My question is this, in my heart, I am longing for another (which would definately be my last), but in my head, i'm not sure if it's financially the best idea. My husband works full time as a General Manager of a restaurant, I work part time as a waitress on the nights my husband is home. Having a 3rd would mean I would have to go back into restaurant management and hire someone to come to my house and watch my kids. I know there are so many moms out there that do this already, so maybe i'm just looking for some comforting words to let me know that it's not so bad to let someone help raise your kids. What do you think? Go for the 3rd or shut up and be grateful with 2? P.S. Ever since we got married, we've always bought in 5's. We bought 5 Christmas stockings 3 years ago with the expectation of having the 3rd to round out our family. Please help!!!


m - November 16

You sound so much like me. I have 2, and my hubby and I always thought we might want 3. So when it came time to decide, we did some debating. But we decided to go for it, and we started trying. We both work full time, so we already do the daycare thing with our youngest (our oldest is in 1st grade). So that's not as much an issue with us as with your case. I can certainly understand your reluctance. But if you can find someone trustworthy, it isn't that bad. And just think they start school around 5 years anyway, so at that point, they'll be out of the house during the daytime anyway. It sounds like a 3rd child would make you happiest. So I would probably follow my heart. I wouldn't let the daycare thing be the decider. In the end, you'd probably be glad you had that 3rd baby. That's just more to love! And you already have a 5th everything, so there ya go! ;o) Good luck.


steeler fan - November 16

M- It's nice to have an outsiders perspective on things. Thank you so much for your input. I'm really leaning towards going for it, and your advice makes me feel more comfortable about doing so. Best of luck to you and your growing family. Thanks again!


A. - November 18

Have you considered being a stay at home mom? Would the cost of hiring some one to come to your house to watch your kids offset what you make, and be worth it?? Could you possibly find something to do at home for work? (such as daycare?) just thoughts. Good luck


steeler fan - November 18

A- I was a stay at home mom for the first 2 years of my daughters life (she turned 2 in May). I could definately go back to work and make more then I would pay a sitter, but it breaks my heart to think that I might miss some milestone like first steps or first word. I'm also having a hard time trusting a stranger with my children. I've considered being a day care provider, but my husband is not too keen on the idea. (he doesn't want his off day to include a house full of other peoples children) I know I have such a strong desire for 1 more that I will do whatever it takes to be able to have another baby. Thanks for your advice. If anyone can think of something I could do from home to help support my family, please let me know.


dana - November 20

well i have 3 and i am 36 weeks pregnant with my 4th and let me tell you i didn't think about any of that we just decided we wanted a big family no matter what the price needless to say this is our last but whatever makes you happy go for it....we never thought twice about it.....the more the merrier


steeler fan/tiffani - November 20

Dana- does the 3rd change the family dynamics dramatically or was the most dramatic change going from 1 to 2?



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