Heart Or Head

7 Replies
Christa - March 1

I am 6 weeks pregnant, unexpectedly as i was on the contraceptive pill and not planning any children after 3 miscarriages, my husband is already the father of 3 kids and doesn't want anymore( the miscarriages were with a previous relationship), although he is extremely supportive, this baby will cause dificulties as we have financial problems and could not afford for me to give up work, i would have to work full time to keep our heads above water, I can see it from both sides ,my head is saying doing the sensible thing and terminate the pregnancy, but my heart is breaking just thinking about doing such a thing, especially as i am 41 and this is probably the last chance for a child of my own. I feel so guilty but i want this baby to be born in to a happy environment where both parents love it and want it.....to give it the best of everything and not struggle. My husband isn't putting any pressure on me but i know secretly he'd be relieved if i didn't go a head with the pregnancy. Can any one help?


rose - March 1

i saw this on another post and it might help you decide to keep the baby... http://www.mttu.com/abort-pics/ brace yourself it is horrifying!!!!


tiffani - March 1

Always follow your heart.


billie - March 1

I know what you're going through and I know that it's hard. I had a similar situation. I got pregnant unexpectedly and I was completely lost. The father wanted it and I didn't. We had no money and no place of our own and I was desperate. I ended up getting an abortion. I can't say that I completely regret my decision. It was the best thing for me at that moment. I thought about adoption too but I thought that that would have been harder to do. I couldn't see myself carrying a baby full term just to give it up at the end. It was a selfish decision, I know. No one can tell yo what to do. You have to make this decision for yourself. I can tell you one thing, I came from a single parent home. We didn't have much but what we lacked in material things, we made it up with all the love and good times we shared. I hope I helped a little.....


Christa - March 1

Thanks Guys, Rose i could'nt look at the pics at the moment, i am too emotional as it is and feel i need to try and think about things objectively. My main fear is for the child, i don't want it to grow up not being loved by its dad and resented for being born. Do you think i am over reacting here and worrying too much about what my hubbie thinks? We have a great relationship and i don't want to ruin it, but at the end of the day he's gonna be getting up at 4am, doing the night feeds etc too and if not what he wants surely he's gonna resent the baby and me? He's my best friend and soul mate and i know this is hurting him too but i have to respect his opinion in this as its gonna change both our lives forever. Very confused and upset now.


Leahp - March 1

Hi Christa! If your 41 don't give up your last chance to have a baby!! Do you know how many women have difficulty getting pregnant at that age, you were givin a wonderful opportunity! Also, you shouldn't be so stressed about money, life always works out and you would probably amaze yourself at how frugle you can be when you have a wonderful miracle in your life! Also, if your husband and you are soulmates and bestfriends then you can get through anything! This would more likely bring you a stronger spiritual connection! Don't think your husband would resent you or the baby, you'll be surprised at how quickly he would fall in love with this child! Give your baby a chance! Lastly, as a friend told me, do it early before you get so imbedded in your life routine that it will be more difficult to imagine it any different!! Your more freaked out at the fact that your husband's and your routine and lifestyle will change, which is natural, but once that child is born it will be difficult for you to imagine your life any other way!!!


Christa - March 1

Thanks Leah, Your probably right about us freaking out about the lifestyle change as his kids don't live with us.... I think part of my guilt is the heartache my husband has suffered perviuosly and i know he's scared that this baby will cause us to split too, feel so anxious and emotional right now as i feel i have so little time to make up my mind and the longer i leave it the harder its getting....


deb - March 1

Christa, hey, I am so sorry you so stress. My husband and I have a similar situation. I also got pregnant on the pill. Had a m/c last June and we want one but we were going to wait about another year or so to try for financial reasons. When we found out we both freaked. But I am 10 1/2 weeks now and we have both adjusted and will just make the sacrifices necessary for this child to have what it needs and hopefully wants. If this is something you really and truly want then you and he can work it out especially if your relationship is as strong as it sounds.



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