9 Replies
Cherry - September 4

Please help, I know I am being irrational but I'm really worried. I am 7 months pregnant and am acting as a surrogate for a close friend. We used artificial insemination with my friends husbands sperm. Since I have been growing a bigger bump my friends husband has started telling me he is finding me really attractive and loves the thought of his flesh and blood growing inside me. At first I laughed it off but he is getting so intense. He rubs my bump and I feel really uncomfortable with it and tell him to keep his hands off but he says its his baby so he can. He has also started saying maybe we should leave and bring the baby up together. Why is he doing this? I can't tell my friend as she is already distraught feeling inadequate and it would break her heart. What can I do to make him leave me alone?


Ruthanne - September 1

You just need to tell him that you are doing this for your girlfriend. You should also tell him not to touch you. I would just explain that if the baby should kick you will let him & your girlfriend feel the kicking at the same time but otherwise it is still your body and you would appreciate him not touching you. Please don't become involved with him. I question what type of guy he is if he is hitting on you like this. Remember, his actions are not your fault but don't lose your girlfriend over him!


Sharon - September 1

You are doing this man & your girlfriend a favor and he needs to be told that. He has no rights to your body regardless of his sperm being inseminated. The only right he has is to that baby once it is born. Tell him that if he keeps it up you will be forced to tell his wife!


Anna - September 2

Your girlfriend's husband sounds like a creep! Unfortunately, for your girlfriend it sounds like if not with you, he will move on to another poor woman. I would tell him that he is ent_tle to nothing from you except this baby. He has no right to touch you or invade your personal space if you do not want him there. I personally would avoid the creep and make sure I was never alone with him. Stick close to your girlfriend's side-- If she goes to the kitchen to get drinks, get up, and tell her that you will help her. You can remove yourself very tactfully. I would also not take calls from him-- let the machine pick-up and if you hear it is your girlfriend then pick-up the phone and make up an excuse that you were in the bathroom and couldn't get to the phone in time. This creep is just taking advantage of this situation and I feel very sorry for his wife. Don't ruin your relationship with your girlfriend by getting involved with this creep. Once a creep always a creep!!


Katie - September 2

First of all I want to praise you for being a surrogate mother, I know I could never do it. You need to stop him coming near you for the rest of this pregnancy. He has NO RIGHT to touch you, even if it is his baby. If he doesn't stop tell him you'll tell his wife. From your post is sounds as though you don't want to be with him and you aren't having second thoughts about giving your friend this baby, so I would suggest trying to make the rest of the pregnancy as comfortable as possible (i.e. not having this guy near you). I feel sorry for your friend, her husband sounds horrible. Can I ask, is it your egg or your friends egg? Good luck.


Eva - September 2

What a great thing you are doing for your friend. This man has no right to touch you though regardless! It is his baby through surrogacy only and he needs to remember that and respect your wishes for just that. It does not sound like you want to pursue a relationship w/him which I think is a wise decision. Therefore, I would be as blunt as possible with him and tell him to keep his hands and his comments to himself because you would never consider ruining your relationship with your girlfriend. If he doesn't stop you will have to tell his wife. Good luck.


Jessica - September 2

What an arsehole he is!! Tell him to keep his hands and his comments to himself and you have no intention of ever going near him. If his comments continue after the baby is born you should tell his wife. If he is coming onto his wifes best friend who else is he coming onto, or having s_x with?


Sandy - September 2

What a jerk! You sound like a nice young woman though. Tell him to leave you alone or you will tell his wife after you deliver the baby. He has no right or reason to be touching your belly or anything else since you are not his WIFE, surrogant mother or not! If he doesn't stop at your request, avoid him until you deliver because you don't need the stress this is causing you.


Cherry - September 4

Thanks everyone for listening. He's been getting worse, he came round to my house yesterday and tried to get me into bed. I think it gave me the push I needed, I shouted at him and told him a few home truths and told him (I didn't mean this by the way) that if he continued this I would go away and he wouldn't ever see his baby. As I said I have no intention of doing this. I was just angry and it seemed to get through to him. He hasn't contacted me since. I feel so sorry for my friend, but couldn't possibly tell her, shes been through so much heartache already. To answer Katie, it is my egg. My friend had an emergency hysterectomy when she was quite young and the eggs that were preserved were deemed 'unsuitable' when they tried IVF. I don't know why but I feel quite detached from this child. I suppose it's all the medical intervention and the way it was conceived which is totally different to how I had my daughter. And of course I'm desperate to see my friend happy after all she's been through! Thanks again everyone x


Cherry - September 4

Just read my post and it didn't make full sense! They tried to fertilize my friends eggs to implant in my womb but they couldn't, they were deemed 'unsuitable'.



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