Help My Best Friend Is A Christian

38 Replies
Lovely - May 11

I know, I know, it sounds weird, but my best friend since High school has recently become a Born-again Christian. I am not. She has quite the story to tell of the last 2 years of her life, like leaving her husband of 10 years (and 2 kids) for his bast friend. They now have a child together, named for someone in the Bible. However, THEY are not married, because legally, HE is still married to HIS ex-wife! Now, enough dirt on her. She has "found God" and was recently baptised with her uh, boyfriend, partner, newest father of her child-guy, and they are off and running with The Lord. I say Good for them! Really. As my best friend, I'm glad she has found something to help her through all she has. My problem comes in, that I lean more towards a Buddhist way of thinking. I told her (just before I found out I was pregnant) that I was contemplating a Buddhist-themed tattoo (I already have several tattoos, so spare me the lecture) She practically flipped on me, saying I was dooming myself, since there is only one "God" and by 'declaring" myself a Buddhist with a tattoo, I was denoucing the real "God". Geesh! I tried telling her that in fact, Buddha is not a "god", but merely a man who found the highest Enlightenment, and she said that Buddhism really seemed more like a cult. Hmmm. Could Billions of Eastern world people be actual cult members? WOW! Where's CNN? Now, I stress, that she IS my best friend... but here's my problem (long winded woman, I know) The boy's name my husband and I have picked out is definately a Buddhist-themed name. When she hears this, she will pray for my soul, and tell me why I shouldn't do this. It's actually the first name my hubby and I both LOVE! I didn't scorn her for picking a Bihblical name, but then again... there's only 'One God"... blah blah blah. How do I head her off, without our new differences of religious beliefs tearing apart our friendship? I respect her for thinking I'm going to h__l for not pleading with Jesus Christ to forgive me for swearing since 7th grade, but I just don't share her new views. Is our friendship doomed?


chel - May 11

Hate to burst your bubble, but there is only one God. And, the only way to Heaven is to accept Jesus Christ as your savior. All other religions are false. Please pick up a bible and read it, starting with Matthew. You may change your way of thinking. Also, regarding your friend, she say she's a Christian, but it doesn't sound like she's living a ver Christian lifestyle. I think she needs to read her bible.


patience - May 11

keep religion out of it. I am a Christian as well, and there is only one God, but if you cant deal with it and with her (who doesn't sound like a great Christian to me) tell her you would like to keep your friendship separate from religious beliefs. Two best friends can still be best friends even though they have different beliefs


To Lovely - May 11

Hi, Does it really matter what religion either of you are? If she truely is your "best friend" then she will be (should be) happy for you and the new blessing you have no matter what name to give him/her. Religion is a state of mind and peace that each individual finds inside. It doesn't matter if it is Catholic (like I am), Buddhist, Christian or whatever, as long as you live your life peacefully, without sin and to best of what your religion states. If your friend can't understand that, then maybe she isn't that good of a friend. unfortunately, religious beliefs are the cause of most arguments and fights amoung people. Really quite sad isn't it?


girl - May 11

i thought this was a question/answer web sight about pregnancy...stop with the religion lectures already!!


Jennifer - May 11

Lovely, you have opened a can of worms here. I think that if her new found religious beliefs have made her closed minded and judgemental maybe you should let her go her own way. It is unfortunate that some people think that their way of thinking is the only way. I believe in God but I would think that he is more concerned with what kind of person you are rather than whether or not you sit in church every Sunday. By the way you said that Buddha was not a god in your post and if you read Matthew it clearly says not to judge others. Good Luck. If she cant accept you for you than she isn't a good friend.


Interesting - May 11

I am not a real Buddhist, but it is closest to what I believe. I was a christian for many years. I was raised that way and went to a christian college and was a bible major (so I HAVE read the bible! :D) and did everything right. But I'll be honest - I was closed-minded and intolerant and hateful and basically believed everyone who didn't share my beliefs was doomed to hell. I don't know that your friendship is doomed, but having the personal enlightenment (both about yourself and others) that comes with Buddhism, you probably already know that there will be problems unless she can accept your differences. If she cannot get past it and only preaches hell-fire and brimstone and all those things at you - it will almost definitely create a wedge. But if you love each other - as best friends do - perhaps you can work through this with a lot of patience and open communication. I wish you the best of luck. And as Buddha says, "The man who crows the loudest eats the most crow." :D Good luck with your pregnancy - what name did you pick, btw?


A - May 11

I think that this is going to be a real problem for your 'born again Christian' friend. I personally had a friend in a similar situation (not having a child with a married man though) and our friendship ended because neither of us would give up our beliefs.


Lynn - May 11

Religion is a lot like politics when you include it in your relationships... best to stay away from it. It seems that those that claim to be the most religious in ways are actually the most close-minded and unaccepting. She's your best friend & as best friends just try to focus on eachother & I think forgivness happens to be a major theme is just about all the religions.. so maybe you can forgve eachother for your percieved faults and keep your friendship.


Tigerphoenix - May 11

Oh boy! I kinda understand this one. I claim no religion because I have my own belief systems (which incedently tend to lean tword druidism or wiccan). For those who would pick that statement apart with the whole god is this and that, I do believe in God but just not the belief that he is the only one. Please spare Lovely, myself and anyone else the lecture. You won't change anyone. Back to the subject. This is obviously a problem if it is stressing you out. It is not good for you or your baby. Try to talk it out with your friend. If she keeps pushing her beliefs on you and saying what you are doing is wrong, simply tell her that it shouldn't matter what either of you believe as long as you love and cherish the child. If she can't accept that, it is time to move on. No good will come out of you staying friends with someone who will only down talk you and your child for your beliefs. There is to much hatred in the world as it is. There is no reason for you to hate her for her beliefs either, simply disagree. Not all christians are that way. Just like no one in any religion has the same OPINION of any other religion. There are those who tolerate all others and give into the love of their fellow man.woman. Then there are those who would rather call all others wrong and blasphemis for believing anything but what they believe. I wish you all the luck with your child. I'm sure no matter what name you give him/her they will lead a loved and happy life. I am curious about the name you picked out. Do tell!


minx - May 11

How about agreeing to disagree about religion and move on? She sounds like she's living a secular lifestyle and is not a very good example of her faith anyway. You also have to stop any discussion that may come up relating to beliefs. Religion and politics are 2 subjects that can create endless debates. So, do your part and curtail any converse that may lead to this.


Julie - May 11

there may only be one God but there are many religions in this world that need to be respected. Christian, Judahism, Buddhism, etc. To each their own. I don't like when people try to push their religions on other people. It is hard when you and your friends have different views. The best policy is not to discuss it. The best cla__s I ever took in college was Comparitive religion. I now have respect for all though I was raised Lutheran. I find other religions interesting and the more you learn about them the more all religions seem to intertwine.


Lissi - May 11

I used to be a devout catholic, but it's this kind of ignorance that eventually drove me away from the church altogether. It's a pity she can't respect your faith as you have respected hers. If I were you I'd try to avoid the subject of religion whenever possible, It'd be a shame if it wrecked your friendship. I broke up with my best friend (Also a born again christian) because she married a Neo Nazi (Go figure!) and she never went anywhere without him. I couldn't stand to be in his company anymore and stopped seeing her. I miss her terribly though, I'd known her since I was 10. I'd just have a good think about how much this friendship is worth to you and fight like hell to keep the peace.


Maddie - May 11

Why categorize born again Christians as intolerant and closed-minded? Isn't that exactly what the Bible teaches us NOT to be? Didn't Jesus preach the OPPOSITE. We can still respect other people, and not believe in their religion can't we? I think the thing with the Christian faith is that there are so many truths, and proof to every word in the Bible that many followers want to save others as well. Who says that the Bible isn't the ultimate truth and all other religions are ways to corrupt humans to stray from Christianity? Have you ever compared the teachings of the Word of God (Bible) to every single other religion? It is truly impossible to disprove the Bible…other than saying that “some guys got together and wrote some fairytales”. That’s a big stretch when you look at how accurate everything in the Bible is. Anyway…TOLERANCE is the key here, don’t FORCE your religion on anyone, simply let it be known…present the facts…and love your neighbor for who they choose to be.


Check this out - May 11

Reasons To Believe (Hugh Ross) Reasons to Believe (RTB) is an international, international ministry established to communicate the uniquely factual basis for belief in the Bible as the wholly true Word of God and for personal faith in Jesus Christ. RTB was founded to remove the doubts of skeptics; strengthen the faith of believers; and, demonstrate that science and the Bible complement one another.


Scream! - May 11

Buddists don't follow any God, it's just a way of life! A very good way of life! I think Jesus would approve of them.


michelle - May 11

Maybe you can wait it out. Converts tend to be really gung-ho about their religion. No matter what it happens to be. She doesn't seem real stable right now, so maybe this phase will pa__s. Or is the hypocrisy getting to you? Since she's slagged a few Commandments and then feels the need to preach to you. Good luck.



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