Hormones Got My Fiance In Hot Water

12 Replies
Sharon - April 11

I am new to this board and haven't posted yet, but today I feel like I need some support and I thought maybe this is the place to go. How many of you have developed a sense of, ummm, un-trustingness (if that is a word) towards your man during the pregnancy? I just feel like I am fat and ugly and even though he is always with me and tells me I am beatiful, I feel like he wants to be out with someone skinny and not pregnant. We are supposed to get married this year, probably in November or so, after I have the baby and the baby is a bit older and I have lost the weight (hopefully!). I know he loves me and has been waiting for this baby for a long time. But i can't help but think that he isn't attracted to me. What can I do to make myself feel better, i know if I bother him with these feelings it may just push him away. He tells me all the time that he still thinks I am s_xy and that he is happy with me and all that...but I can't help but be crazy and I don't want to lose him because of my craziness. Please help me....I just want to feel normal again.....


tiffani - April 11

Listen to what he says, you're beautiful and he wants to spend the rest of his life with you. You aren't fat, you're pregnant. There are two of you now sharing one body, your boyfriend knows this and he also knows how attractive you were before you got pregnant. Pregnant women are beautiful and a turn on to many men. Embrace it.


Sharon - April 11

I know you must be right...Did you ever get the feeling during the early months of your pregnancy? I am four months along, so I do look pregnant, just fat. I just feel so depressed. I just look at myself and wonder "why would he want me when he could have a beautiful skinny woman" I wouldn't want myself. I just feel really depressed sometimes. I start to think that he is just saying those things to make me feel better but he doesn't mean them...I know it sounds crazy when I type it out, but I can't help but have these thoughts....How do I get over them?? Thanks for your support, I knew I was turning to the right place.


Shannon - April 11

I know what you are feeling, girl. The advise I can give you is to ponder upon what actions or words will calm your insecurity. What does he have to do to get you to be less insecure? The answer may surprise you, because he may be already be doing those things. Also, do not let your hang up over the way you look/feel cloud things. I feel ugly and fat, too - but I take a step back and really a___lyze his ways and you know what? He gets turned on by me just mentioning s_x - hard-ons do not lie, girl!


tiffani - April 11

You get over it by realizing he is still around and still treats you the same as he did before you got pregnant. Men have very strong emotions about pregnancy, they are just too macho to share their thoughts. I guarantee you your husband puts no negative thoughts towards your expanding waistline. Relax and enjoy the pregnancy. :o)


Robyn - April 11

No worries Sharon, I think its normal for most women to go through that. I am right there with you. I am 12 weeks this week and carrying twins. So I am twice as big as normal pregnancy people right now and its really hard for me to accept also. And yes I look fat not pregnant as far as I am concerned. Its aweful and my bf tells me I am beautiful all the time and how s_xy I am and how he can wait till I get even BIGGER because he thinks it is going to be so adorable when I start the 'pregnant waddle' when you walk. I have to laugh at it sometimes, but there are days I feel absolutly aweful about myself. It will pa__s and Tiffani is right, pregnancy turns a lot of men on believe it or not. And if this is both of your firsts, he is probably just in complete awe that you are carrying HIS baby in there. Just remind youself that, he does love you and wants to be with you. If youre scared about losing him, when you are rational and calm, sit him down and talk to him and tell him what is going on and how you feel about it. I am sure you two will come to an understanding. Its aweful though right now and I know. I yelled at my bf because I thought he looked at the cute girl in the car next to us for just a second longer then acceptable. LOL, its normal. Just talk about it!


Sharon - April 11

Shannon - you are so right. He does do all the thing men are supposed to do to make us feel better while we are pregnant - he tells me I am still s_xy, he tells me "no baby, there is no cellulite on your booty", he proposed to me and tells me he is happy with me. i am just crazy. I just needed to talk about it with some one other than him. He tells me that i freak him out when i tell him how i feel - as far as my being insecure and feeling bad like he is going to leave me or something. he says it makes him worry that i don't want to be with him - which i do very very much.


Sharon - April 11

And Tiffani - thanks so much, you made me feel better as well - I didn't want you to think I left you out in my thanks! I just wish I could control my emotions....


Sharon - April 11

Robyn - thanks - I just know what an amazing person he is and I know that if he wanted to he could have just about any one he wanted. I just worry that one day I am not going to be the one he wants, that someone will fill my place in his life. I feel great most days, but i knows he deals with clients and some of them are very pretty and young and even though i know i am not a bad looking girl, he does have a tendency (without realizing it really) to be kind of a flirt. He doesn't mean anything by it but his clients (he is a divorce attorney) come in and all crying and desperate and have cried to him and will hug him at court (I have been there to see it) and I just freak out sometimes....and it is soooo frustrating because i jsut want to be happy and enjoy my pregnancy. ugggg....anyway, thanks for being my shoulder to cry on, all of you. your words of wisdom mean a alot to me...


peepee - April 11

I feel better when I think about all of my cute clothes that I am going to be able to fit back in after I have the baby. (HOPEFULLY) I feel the same way and it makes you feel bad when you feel like you aren't a hottie or even a cutie, but then just about the time that you feel down, just think how cute your baby will be and how cute and happy you will be in a few more months. It is worth it. No matter how cute the maternity clothes look on the hanger, they don't look very cute on. I feel like a truck.


Becky - April 11

I have a really close group of friends and one of them is pregnant. Another one of those friends (who is a guy) was commenting on the changes that your body goes through when pregnant. He and I are not together in any way, but he is attracted to me, after commenting on our mutual friend he turned and looked at me and says "You should get pregnant." :-P (He doesn't know that me and my fiancee are ttc).


Lily - April 11

Oh Sweetie, I think every pregnant woman feels like that sometimes. My husband tells me I'm beautiful everytime he think I need to hear it. In fact just the other day, his comment was, "you need to be pregnant more often, you're prettier that way" or something like it...My guess is because my b___bs have gotten bigger and I've gained a bit of weight around my hips. My advise, listen to him! But most important make sure he understand how you feel. Believe it or not, there are many men out there that thing pregnant woman are the most s_xiest thing they've ever seen, it even gets them turned on. Some men actually have aquired this into almost a s_xual fetish. Sharon, you are beautiful! Why not take a day for yourself. Try a saturday evening, have a warm bath (follow your doctor's advice on whether to use bubble, salts, etc.), after that, paint your give yourself a manicure and paint your nails! Just remember you're not fat, your pregnant, and that is beautiful.


Jamie - April 12

I had the same thing - my hubby helped me get over my "I'm fat" by buying me lingerie from Victoria's Secret - a little teddy that opens over my belly; it makes me feel VERY s_xy - perhaps doing the same would help you?



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