How Horrible Is This

5 Replies
Tracey - November 19

Does it make me a horrible person that I don't really want to br___tfeed? This was a planned pregnancy, sort of (we stopped using birth control and decided to let nature take its course). I know all of the health benefits of br___tfeeding. The thing is, I work as a mortgage broker so I work on commission only. I can't afford to be taking a lot of time off work. Actually, I'm not really taking ANY time off work, I'm just setting up a home office for a few months. With everything that's going to be going on, it just seems like I'll be feeding every 2 hours or so in the evening when I'm home (after I go back to work at the office), then pumping in between for enough milk for the next day for her. I feel like ALL I'll be doing is either feeding or pumping for a solid year! It just seems to be a must smarter idea for me to formula feed. That way, dad can be just as active a parent as me. I know this makes it seem that I'm just some kind of uninterested, unattentive, unexcited mommy to be that only cares about her career and not her baby, but that is so not the case. I'm just trying to think rationally and look at what's on my plate right now and in the future. I wish I could afford to take a year off work and stay home and br___tfeed every 2 hours, but that is just not a feasible option for my family. Any suggestions or just some reassurance that I'm not a horrible mother would be greatly appreciated!

 

m - November 19

First of all, you are not a horrible mother! Different strokes for different folks. Although there are health benefits for the baby and for you w/b___stfeeding, it is something each woman has to decide for herself. It isn't for everyone. That being said, I want to say that there is nothing anywhere that says if you start, you are strapped in for a year. I did it for 3 months with my first one, 4 months with my 2nd. That was just when the baby's appet_te picked up, and it was hard to pump... things like that. You could try it, and only do if for the time when you are going to be exclusively at home. At least that way, you and your baby would get the benefits, even if it was just for a month, or even a week. In the end, it is your choice, but just so it's an informed choice, nobody says you have to either do it for a year or not do it at all. You can adjust the length of time according to your schedule. One more thing, with my second child, for about the last month or so, I had my body on a schedule of b___stfeeding morning and night. That way, my body adjusted to 2 feedings a day, I didn't have to pump, and I still got the pleasure of having that bond... but on MY schedule. There's nothing wrong with breasfeeding on your own time, and supplementing formula the rest of the time. That way, you can have your cake and eat it too. :o) Good luck.

 

Tracey - November 19

M, Thank you so much for your kind words and good advice. I never really thought about b___stfeeding when I'm home and supplementing the rest of the time. Just one question though...does the baby have a hard time going from b___st to bottle and back again or do they learn quickly to eat both ways?

 

m - November 19

Both of mine learned quickly. Even in the very beginning when I was "exclusively" bf, sometimes I would pump between feedings (if I had anything to pump) and freeze some bottles. That way, if there was a time I was exhausted, or if I was just sleeping good, I'd have my hubby to use one of those pumped bottles. So both of my sons had exposure to the bottle right off. That may be why they went back and forth so easily. That also made it easier for the full transition after I quit bf.

 

angela - November 20

You can do both, if you want, and to b___stfeed for only a month or two is better that not at all. If you feel you can't do it, then don't, that is why they make formula. I stayed at home so i had time, but I still used both b___st milk and formula. You have to do what suits you and your family.

 

tiffani - November 20

There is more to being a interested, attentive and excited mommy than just b___stfeeding. It's sad how other moms can make you feel like less of one for not b___stfeeding. "M" had good advice about supplementing. I did the same with my kids and they also had no "nipple confusion." Give it a try and see how it works for you. Best Wishes!

 

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