Husband S Family Amp Baby Name

6 Replies
Kate - May 23

We just found out we are having our second son. We gave our first son a traditional name and then gave him the middle name of my husband's grandfather. Now that we know we are having our second son I am already feeling pressure from his family to name him after my husband's father who passed away 5 years ago. His mother still mourns the death of him and I just don't feel comfortable with the name. His sister insists we keep the name in the family but she didn't name any of her kids after him? Why do I have to feel obligated? I understand it is nice to have a family name but I want my son to have his own ident_ty. His death was sudden and very painful for the family and I just don't feel comfortable with the name. Any advice?

 

Carol - May 23

It is your baby. They will get over it. Name your child what you want. I know this sounds mean, but I am sooo tired of trying to be nice and please everybody, but myself. Tough Sugar for them. If you don't like it, you don't like it. Just tell them you haven't decided on a name yet. Then when he is born, tell them the name. By that time, they really won't care and won't have much to say about it anyway. I had a friend that waited until the day she went into the hospital to tell everyone - what a difference! she didn't have to hear any comments from anyone except maybe when are you going to decided.

 

JenniferB - May 23

I was talked into using my husband's great grandfather's name as my son's middle name. Edgar, I wish I had not been such a push over. It is just a middle name and nobody needs to know it I suppose. I would say that you should consider it if it means a lot to your husband. If it doesn't matter to him than don't be pressured into it.

 

Kate - May 23

It doesn't mean that much to him it is the rest of the family. My husband considered it but when I told him I wasn't comfortable he said OK

 

m - May 23

I'd steer clear of naming your son something that makes YOU the mother feel uncomfortable. If it was agreeable, you'd name him that, but since it's not, it is NOT your obligation to name him that. You just have to explain to the mom in law, or anyone else in that family (maybe hubby should) that the deceased grandpa will be remembered always, regardless of what you name your son. Your son won't continue his "legacy", only his memory.

 

Karen - May 23

It is your son and you have the right to name him what you want. My MIL wanted our little boy named after his father who is named after his father and I said no way. I dont like the idea of him being the third. She was not to please with the name we choose but accepted that it is our baby and we name him what we want. I am sure that they will love the child no matter what and will come to terms with your choice after all it is his father not yours. And if they dont tough on them.

 

KH - May 23

how does your husband feel about it? Let him feel it out and if he doesn't want the name, free yourself and let him deal with the family - I definitely wouldn't use a name you weren't comf. with.

 

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