I Ve Made A Big Mistake

22 Replies
iimsooflyx0 - May 5

I'm about 23 weeks pregnant. And I've been really depressed, and have never really FELT like i was pregnant (except for the sonograms).. until recently when I started showing and feeling my baby move and kick around. Well I feel sooo guilty and Im so worried about my baby now. I've been drinking somewhat throughout my pregnancy, before I found out.. and after I found out I've had occasional drinks beers or wine coolers about once/twice a month. And Ive been smoking marijuana maybe 3/4 times a month. I smoke cigarettes as well. I feel so bad for my baby now... and like so many people are looking down on me. Im not going to drink or smoke mj anymore during my pregnancy, and im going to try my best to quit smoking cigarrettes to. Do you think I REALLY hurt my baby?? im soo scared :(


cindi - May 5

I'm not going to say what I want to say to you because I dont want to start an argument here. I hopeGod protects your baby.


kellie - May 5

I don't know what to say..... Have you been going to your prenatal appointments? Does your doctor have any idea what is going on? If I were you I would go to your doctor and come clean about all you have done and hopefully they will be able to offer some a__sistance.


Brittany - May 5

When you got your sonograms, did the person say the baby looked alright? Since you smoked and drank, your baby is probably measuring small because when you smoke, your baby doesn't get as much oxegyn and promotes slow growth. As for the alcohol, occasionally its ok, I personally would NEVER drink while pregnant, but I know women who have. And the mj...geeze, you really need to stop. Just because your depressed doesn't mean you need to do that to yourself...AND you baby!! Find something else that makes you happy, get in mommy mode, design the nursery, buy crafts like quilts or rugs for the nursery, save money to start buying for the baby, make a sc___pbook for the baby. Just please stop drinking and smoking, it's really not good for you and worse for the baby. Make sure you go to your dr. appts!!


iimsooflyx0 - May 5

When i got my 20 week sonogram they said everything looked good, no abnormalities or anything.. so im hoping my baby's ok!


HannahBaby - May 5

I feel bad for your baby too....


mcatherine - May 5

Everyone is ent_tled to their own opinions - that's what this board is for. Iimsofly, I'm just not a big believer in pa__sing judgement on other people. Christ hasn't knocked on my door lately to let me know that he'll be on vacation and needs me to fill in while he's out, so I am not going to waste your time by telling you right from wrong. It is apparent that you already know. No one here can tell you if you have done harm to your baby. What has happened has happened and you can't change it now. But what is most important is that you have finally realized that your behavior has been extremely dangerous to your unborn child and you are ready and willing to change it. Each day that you make a concious effort to stay healthy is another day that will enable your baby to grow bigger and stronger. Also, I think that perhaps you should seek help outside this board. Depression is a serious disease of the mind and pregnancy can often worsen the more serious cases of it. There are qualified people out there that want to help you and your baby have a heathly life. Reaching out to your online friends here is a good start, but don't let it be the only place you seek the answers that could ultimately change your life. Good luck to you and your baby.


mandee25 - May 6

I agree with mcatherine totally. I am not here to judge and I have battled depression throughout my life due to past abuse and I turned to food for comfort. Anyways, how old are you iimsooflyx0? I really hope you stay away from those filthy habits now and after your baby is born. You can't turn back time but you CAN stop potentially harming your baby right this minute. I hope God watches out for your baby and you get the help you need ok. Keep us posted because I care what happens. God Bless......


littlemama1022 - May 6

It may not be a good idea to quit smoking cigarettes..when I was pregnant with my first baby, i didn't drink but I did smoke MJ and cigarettes. I did stop smoking MJ while I was pregnant but my doctor told me that quitting smoking so far along in your pregnancy, can cause too much stress for you and the baby. It wasn't hard for me to stop smoking MJ though, I didn't quit smoking cigarettes and I had a healthy 7 lb baby girl.


Chrissy - May 6

I'm not going to preach at you because you obviously feel badly and know that what you have been doing is wrong, HOWEVER, that being said-- You had really better start to work on learning some coping mechanisms for dealing with your depression issues, and I mean HEALTHY coping mechanisms. This is very important, You are only 23 weeks pregnant and you have nooooo idea how much harder things are going to get the further along you get. Just wait until you hit your 3rd trimester. You think things are hard now?? You have no idea. You may want to seek some counseling to help you with your depression because you are doing some reckless things to yourself and your baby. I only pray that God gives you the strength and courage to fight through this the healthy way for your sake and your babies sake. REMEMBER- your baby did NOT ask to be born, so it is Your responsibility to give it the best life you can ! Good luck-- :{


sandra-c - May 7

I think what you have been doing is wrong but like cindi says I dont want to start an argument and say exactly what I think cos you obviously feel bad already about it or you wouldnt have posted your message. The only thing you can try and do now is stop smoking cigarettes and dope and stop drinking not only during the pregnancy but afterwards too. A home where drink and drugs are the "in" thing is not a good environment for a baby. The damage may already have been done. You probably wont know until after the birth. You dont say if you have a partner to support you but there are groups etc who can help you stop. I would speak to your health care provider and let them know the truth. You cant help yourself until you admit you have a problem. I wish you good luck


spoonfulofsugar - May 7

iimsooflyx0, although I have never smoked MJ and drank while pregnant, I did smoke at the beginning of my pregnancy. I had to put my faith in god and pray. Everytime I wanted a cig, I prayed for the strength to not have one. I am 21 wks and have not had one for 2 months. I now it's stressful, I have 2 kids ages 4 and 6 and believe me I want one, but I think about that little one in my belly who doesn't have a choice. Just keep trying and look for support groups like the others recommended. Good Luck


krc - May 7

well I didn't quit smoking cigs till I was about 9 or 10 weeks pregnant. But i think ive had a total of about 10 drinks since I found out I was pregnant. Im now 28 weeks and haven't had a drop of alcohol in about 6 weeks. Before it was maybe one beer a week if that. Now the first 5 weeks when I didn't know I was pregnant drank beer and liquer daily beyond moderation as well as chain smoking. I was going thru a rough time because the father of my baby pa__sed away and it didn't know I was pregnant till 2 weeks after the funeral. But as much as I wanted to continue to drink my sorrows away I knew I had to be strong for the baby. Think about it.....it's only a matter of months you should sober up. After the baby is born if you want to drink and smoke then thats your choice....but your baby right now doesn't have a choice. And honestly...since I quit my unhealthy habits I have enjoyed this sobriety. My mind is clear and I see things differently and have a new strength and motivation. I know I will not go back to those old habits after the baby is born either. Im starting a new life as a mom.... the party life I had before is over and im proud to say that. If you give yourself a chance to stay sober 100% for a few months you might realize that you dont need that stuff anymore. I know its hard to even get to that point but it is worth it. I was on the edge of becoming a full b__wn alcoholic and im only 27 !! I would cme home from work and do about 3-4 shots of tequila. Then i'd cook dinner, do another shot or 2 and go out to the pool hall and drink a pitcher of beer. And on the weekends i'd continue the binge drinking all night long. I used to think i couldn't function unless I had a buzz of some kind. And I didn't quit it all cold turkey either. But the guilt I felt with every smoke and every drink killed my spirit wen I knew I was pregnant. I didn't feel good about myself till I quit EVERYTHING !! Now this is just my personal story and every woman has there own battles to fight. It's really a mind battle. Either your weak and you let your habits control you or you make a stand and say NO !! I HAVE CONTROL over my habits. As for you hurting your baby...you wont know till it's born so who can say. I have friend who continued bad habits thru pregnancy and had healthy babies and I know about 3 girls who had kids with disabilities due to drinking and smoking. It's a gamble . Remember if the child does have a handicap whether mental or physical your the one who has to live with that. I say quit now while you can...or atleast give it a shot. If you dont well I hope the best for you and your baby and most of all for you. Whatever is causing your depression I hope your able to overcme it!


lovemy3 - May 8

You need to let your dr now about these choices you made and have them look, at the consequences if t here has been to your little baby. God bless you.


tiffiny090180 - May 8

Talk to your doctor, because he will have to help you wean of in a safe way as not to SHOCK yours or your baby's system,(your baby has been doing everything you has, and is probably also addicted). But it is NEVER too late to do things right. Today is a new day, and God is a God of second, third, fourth and twelfth chances,(thank goodness or we would all be in a mess). Purpose in your heart to make the right decisions for your baby from this day forward, and I will be praying for your strength in doing so. Don't look behind. Once you have regretted and turned from something harmful, the only way to go is FORWARD. Love you in CHRIST.


frankschick2001 - May 8

I will not judge, but if you say you were drinking once or twice a month, then I have to a__sume it was probably more than that. How much were you smoking cigarettes. If you were getting high 3/4 times a month, was it more like 8-10 times a month? You don't have to answer but you should be honest with yourself. A lot of women will be mad at you, but at this point all I can say is what's done is done and going forward for the remainder of your pregnancy, you should be living the life of a nun! STOP all the partying ways. Do you think they'll be any easier to give up once you give birth? You say you are not going to drink or smoke marijuana anymore, but what about the cigarettes? This is one of the worst things you can do while pregnant. Depression can be treated while you are pregnant under a doctors care. Stop self-medicating, you;re doing damage to your baby like that. And no one here can tell you the extent of the damage. Just try to do the right thing from now on.


frankschick2001 - May 8

LITTLEMOMMA: I am very glad that your baby suffered no discernable abnormalities due to your smoking. But I don't think you should counsel others on "not quitting smoking" . That line about quitting causing too much stress on the baby is an old wives tale. It is ALWAYS better to quit. And sometimes the effects of smoking are not known right away, so years down the line, a child can exhibit signs of learning disabilites or behavioral problems due to the smoking or drinking while in-utero.



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