I Ve Made A Big Mistake

22 Replies
frankschick2001 - May 8

LITTLEMOMMA: I am very glad that your baby suffered no discernable abnormalities due to your smoking. But I don't think you should counsel others on "not quitting smoking" . That line about quitting causing too much stress on the baby is an old wives tale. It is ALWAYS better to quit. And sometimes the effects of smoking are not known right away, so years down the line, a child can exhibit signs of learning disabilites or behavioral problems due to the smoking or drinking while in-utero.


kelly3 - May 8

Dont beat yourself up, i also had bad depression with my first baby. Its not easy when you feel that way. theres nothing wrong with cutting down on smoking, just do what you can. I did smoke through my two pregnancys and fortunatly my babies were born around 7lbs 4oz. Yes it is wrong to do all that when your pregnant, but as others have said, its not fair to judge people, a little understanding goes along way.


muhrea - May 8

Unfortunately the first trimester is the worst time to do those things you mentioned., although any time you're pregnant that stuff is no good. Basically what's done is done, but it's great that you have decided to take care of yourself and your baby from this point on. Please go to your doctor and get help with your depression by going to counseling. (There is free or low-cost counseling if needed) Look up mental health in your city online or in the phone book. (7 mths away from being a licensed therapist myself) Take care and good luck!


mom2b72 - May 8

Unfortunately, many people who have said they were not going to judge, have done just that. I agree with the poster who said you need to talk with your doc about getting help to do this. If you only smoke mj 3-4 times/month, could you stop that immediately? With your depression, I do not think it is in your (and therefore your baby's) best interest to try to do all of this at once. There are things you can do to help with the depression and learn new coping mechanisms. Remember, for your baby to be healthy, you need to be healthy and that includes dealing with the depression. Please call your OB and try to see them asap. They can refer you further for depression if necessary and help you work out a plan to deal with everything else. Of everything, I would think the mj is most damaging and that is where I would start. Good luck and feel free to ask for more help here if you need/want it!!


dee23 - May 10

hello :) im curious to know how you have been going? ive heard that even if you give up now....ur giving ur bubby a really good chance to stack on some good weight and bone up on the calcium, iron and antioxidents. in which case, if u do happen to tell ur doc about ur habits, he/she might be able to help by running a few tests to check for calcium and iron and what not, and maybe prescribe some supps for you...cause those things that u are doing can inhibit the absorbtion or those vital nutrients and also reduce oxygen flow to bubby too. have u been taking pregnancy supps? if not, prolly start now. hows your diet? make sure u eat lots of protein, iron and calcium rich foods.....not too sound like a protein, iron and calcuim junkie lol.......but they are the stepping stones to a healthier bubs. i dont have a story on alcohol or dope, but by dh's mest mates wife smoked a 30 pack of cigs a day with all three of her kids. they were all born healthy, but the first one is now showing signs of speech impediments. he is slow to talk and needs speech therapy. difference between him and his bro a year younger than him...she slowed the cigs down significatly to under 5 a day...and he is now talking and happy while his big bro still isnt. there little sister is much too young to know what effect the smoking has done yet...she was only born 6 months ago........but i would say that u r well on ur way to managing a drug free pregnancy! the first step is too speak up, then u can get the required suggestions to make it alot easier for u to quit. i can understand what situations depression can put u in.....it is a drug in its self, its that over powering.....but maybe try and battle the depression to occupie ur mind, think that u can do this......u own ur body, the depression doesnt own u.....u have the right to act and feel the way U want to feel...not the way something is telling u to feel......FIGHT IT!....it will pa__s, and ur bubby will thank you for its entire life to come. just a small thought of encouragement for you to think when u feel like u need to give up.....everytime u pick up that cig and smoke it...u take 11 minutes off your life (not sure what that would be with ur bubs), and everytime u feel alittle tipsy, ur baby has past out. keep us informaed girl! i am here for u anyway, some people dont understand how hard it can be and i want to offer u the most support i can. take care.


mcatherine - May 10

Iimsofly - you have't been back on in a while, but I a__sume you may still be out there - reading these posts. I just wanted to know if you were doing ok....


sarahbaby11 - May 11

i'd check with your doctor about smoking both mj and cigareetes. you can stop drinkning anytime. i have read that it is safe to have an occasional drink while pregnant with no effect on the baby. like one a day a few days a month. but the cig and mj are different i remember reading that sudden stopping can causea miscarriage. i would check the doctor might suggest weaning yourself away and not quiting either cold. there is a doctor patient privilaege so you can't get in trouble for smoking so be completely honest. he may have other tests he wants to run knowing this info.



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