Mother In Law Troubles

6 Replies
lilmama - January 25

Hi all, I am having some troubles with my mother in law, she was very upset that she did not get to be in the delivery room when i had my first child, and now expects me to let her with the twins that I am having now. I do not feel comfortable with this, I want my mom and my husband and thats all (they only allow 2 anyway). My husband doesnt understand this either, he thinks its only fair that she gets to be there this time. Any ideas on how I can settle this with out a big fight? I dont want to hurt any feelings or step on any toes, but I want my birth experience to be a good one.

 

Leahp - January 25

wow, that's one of my concerns with my first!!! I'll have to keep reading and see what kinf of advice you get.

 

Shesh - January 25

I know just what you mean!!! My fiance's sister is demanding that she is going to be in the room. i know if she is that his other sister will have to be, so will my sister and my Mom. That is way too many people! We just put our foot down and said tat no one but he and I will be in the room. they are still arguing with us over it. I think I am going to hire a bouncer to hang outside the birthing room! BTW, twins? That is awesome? Do you know the s_xes yet? Leahp, congrats hun!! This is my first too.

 

Leahp - January 25

Oh boy!! What it to come!! I can see this happening with my husband's mother and sister, Italians!!! They're very loud, I don't need that during labor!! Congrats to all of you!!! Twins is exciting!!! and Shesh having your first child is definitley a adventure!!! I don't know what to expect!!

 

Liz - January 25

I am not sure what kind of advice to give you. My gut tells me to tell you just to tell her "no", but that will cause problems for you and your husband. If it were me, I would explain to both your husband and your mother-in-law that it is a very private and personal thing to go through and since it is you that is on display in there, it should be your decision as to who is in there with you. I cannot imagine anything worse than having my mother-in-law in the room when I give birth. I love her dearly, but I would feel extremely uncomfortable. I wish you the best of luck with this.

 

JF - January 25

You are the one going through the labor for the twins and it is totally up to you. I know how hard the pressure is, my sister in law delivered all her babies natural through water births and let the entire town in the room. I only chose to have my husband only and his entire family thought I was a freak. Needless to say my birth was not natural (epidural thank god!) and after I had my son was born every one came and everyone was fine. All the drama ended up being about nothing once everyone saw the baby everyone was happy. I would tell my mother in law that you just aren't comfortable with it. Honesty is the best!

 

A - January 26

Surely this is one time when you're allowed to be selfish? No matter how well you get on with your mother in law, the relationship with her is bound to be different from the relationship with your own mother. I think it's perfectly acceptable that you would only want your husband and mother there. Your mother in law can come in as soon as the baby is born. I too would feel very uncomfortable if my mother in law were there. The other thing is that you can probably be a lot more honest/blunt with your mother than with the in-laws - I certainly wouldn't want the added stress of worrying about whether I was upsetting my mother in law by something I said in the heat of the moment!

 

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