My Wife Is Crazy

42 Replies
Jay - September 2

My wife and I have been married for 7 years and i just found out we are expecting our 5th kid.We wanted 3. For 4 and now 5 she was supose to be on the pill.She just says its not 100% fool proof.I was talking to her sister about this and she told me my wife has NEVER been on the pill.It tuns out her religion dosen't allow any forms of birth control.I knew she was a little churchy,but had no idea it went this far since I don't ever go.I need to have s_x about 6 times a week.We will have about 20 kids at this pace.What should I say to her now that I know the truth? I am so p___sed about this bible thumping. It has my life upside down. What can I do with out getting surgery or pulling out to cut down on the pregnancys if she wont take birth control?And what is this no Birth control thing all about.


brucen - July 26

It seems to me a discussion about how many children you both would like to have had should have taken place a long time ago. If so; it should have been mentioned to you that for religious beliefs, she doesn't use contraceptives. You guys should really talk about this. If she has felt this way all the time and never said anything, she has lied by omission. It was always her intention to have as many children as she would be able to concieve. That is certainly not fair to you. Your wishes not to have children should be respected as should hers to have as many as she can. Having said that it doesn't seem like you two are compatible in that area. If her reliogious beliefs dictate that contraceptives are wrong there is nothing short of vasectomy that you can do. Unless you can convince her that lying to you by not telling you she felt this way IS wrong. As for the no birth control part; neither the Qur'an nor does the Bible make any explicit statements about the morality (or lack thereof) of contraception. It's a Pope thing.


Anon - July 26

I agree with Brucen you two need to have a long discussion about what is going on in both of your lives. She was lying to you about taking birth control, and that is something you should confront her with. IF she is in fact so religous...Why is she lying about something as big as that? I am not here to judge, and I am not a big religous person, But I do know that you arent supposed to lie. It's just something that was always said in my church. Although all religions are very different most are similar on stuff like that. I just think that you need to confront her about what she is doing to you.


nancy - August 1



Tanya - August 7

Again, i agree with brucen, Ok buddy, you need to chill a littlle on the s_x drive, too! Have you thought of taking Depo-provera injections? It is used to relax a man's libido, mostly for men convicted of s_x crimes, no offense please, just hear me out, if it lower's their libidos, they are not as willing to have s_x, its just a thought, man, six times aweek, anyone should be that lucky, my man and I used to, but when we first met, not three years later, we have no kids, I have two from a previous marriage, and yes I want more, not a thousand, may be you should consider a vasectomy, it will save you in chld support in the long run,if it ever comes to that!!! GOOD LUCK MAN!!


Grace - September 1

Jay it sounds like you two have major communication problems. I can completely understand why you are so upset-- She lied to you! I am sure you understand that pulling out is not adequate birth control. Sorry, but it actually sounds very teenage boyish. I would talk to her about it, express your feeling, and just be open to getting the surgery on yourself. After all, surgery for a male is supposed to be easier than a woman getting her tubes tide. It might be the only solution.


Nan - September 1

Jay, first and foremost you need to sit down together and discuss why she lied to you about the pill, then you need to talk about her religion try to understand why her beliefs "don not allow b/c" then you need to tell her how you feel about the whole thing and if her religion dictates that no b/c can be used then i would suggest you take matters into your own hands and get a vasectomy if you want to stay together. I wish you the best of luck is she mormon or catholic? i know those 2 religions look down upon b/c not sure what other religions do.


Shanie - September 1

I too must say that I agree with Brucen. You do need to have a really really long chat about both of your expectations, birth control and her religious belief. It amazes me that you did not know that she was as dedicated as she is. Her lying though in my mind should also be a thing that her religion is against but that is another story. I totally disagree with the use of Depo-provera. However, you can both discuss the alternatives to BC pills, condoms etc. You can try the rhythmn method but it would take some serious patience on your part because there will be one week each month during which you should not have s_x. Maybe you can make a compromise and during the period when she is fertile use condoms. The most important thing that needs to happen however is for you both to sit and chat and then see an OB or so for advice on what methods of birth control that will be most suitable for your situation. Oh, do not attempt to criticize her religious beliefs because that can cause her to go on the defensive. Try to understand her beliefs at this point do not oppose. Her beliefs help to make her who she is and to try to insult and oppose is also attacking who she is. Take time to understand them and who knows you may find a gap in them where you can respectfully make suggestions for a compromise.


me - September 2

Your wife must be catholic!! I don't know of any other religion that doesn't approve of birth control. I am VERY religous and I have been using birth control for the five years I have been married. I am Apostolic and as far as I know there is not a religon stricter than our except for maybe the Amish.Ha!!Ha!! We live very strictly by the bible and it in no way says it is wrong to use birth control. And trust me if it did I would know. It does say go forth and populate the earth but it doesn't say all by youself. Ha!! I do hope you work this out. I would hate to think something like this would tare your marriage apart. Especially since you have 5 children to think about. I will keep you in my prayers.


Katie - September 2

Jay - surely your wife's religion tells her not to lie either? Maybe her sister is lying? If your wife "has" been taking birth control pills then even missing just the one or feeling ill or taking other medication can cause it not to work for 7 days - during this time another method should be used. You need to sit her down and have her explain to you why she felt the need to pretend she was protected against pregnancy or to get the full story if she was on birth control pills. Does she want bucket loads of children? Is it "really" just due to religion? I'm not surprised she is pregnant if you are having unprotected s_x 6 times a week. It seems a bit late to be thinking of wats to stop getting pregnant, but once this next baby is born I suggest you have a SERIOUS discussion about future children. If you don't want them and she is unprepared to take birth control then it may full to you to make sure you use a condoms. Don't get surgery. If you split up in the future and you begin a new relationship you will regret it. I wouldn't worry about your s_x drive, I'm not sure why people are saying 6 times a week is too high! I thought that was quite tame lol. My fella and I have s_x about 12 times a week.


dora - October 14

get lost


E - October 14

Let's see... You can get surgery or divorced. I recommend surgery due to the fact that you are a father and the children need both of you at home. I would tell your wife you plan to have a vasectomy due to the fact that she cannot keep from getting pregnant and refuses to be honest with you. Do not put up with the BS that the pill is not 100% effective. The odds of the pill failing twice in 1 woman is slim. Be a man, stand up and take responsibility on your end for what is happening to your life. This is crazy. How many kids does this woman plan to have? Does she know anything about all of the orphans in foreign countries? Can you discuss adoption with her if she feels this need to mother so many children? She could do something worthwhile with her faith and heart.


m - October 14

GET A VASECTOMY!!!!!!!!! And if you don't want to tell her, then she frickin deserves it for keeping something so important from you all of these years! And you're right, she IS crazy. I am in church every Sunday, and it is not necessary to have a litter of kids to please God! After all, how many did He have? ONE!!!! This should be a simple decision. First, get a vasectomy. Whether or not her sister is lying is irrelevant. The fact is she "somehow" continues to end up pregnant even though you discussed having 3! Second, you guys need to learn some communication!


len - November 19

What a b___h


some0ne - November 19

Your wife isnt right for lying on you but men should take more responsiblility when it comes to contraception.


Ann - November 19

My vote is for the need to take matters into your hands now! Good Luck!!!


Shelly - November 19

Why is it always the Woman's responsibility? Why can't men take any action. Wear a CONDOM if you are so worried about it. Obviously you don't have a very good relationship if you can't even talk about it, or if you believe her sister. How the hell would she know. Talk to your wife before you believe other people.



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