Name Question

26 Replies
mommy2be27 - May 4

We found out I'm having a boy when I was 28 weeks- I'm 32wks now. My husband and I cannot agree on a name. He wants the baby named after him- which would be "David L. XXXXX Jr" and call him D.J. Yes, his mom only gave him a middle initial, not a middle name. I absolutely hate the middle intial and hate have intials for a name. I offered a compromise... we can name him David (insert middle name) and call him by his middle name. I'm think David Aidan, The dh says that defeats the purpose of naming the baby after him. I feel bad taking away "his right" of a namesake....but I cannot stand the idea of using that name for our child. I don't know how many times I've been asked "Why doesn't he have a middle name?" and I don't want our child to go thru that! Advice or suggestions? Will someone tell me I'm not horrible for not doing naming him junior even if hubby really, really wants it?


mommy2be27 - May 6

Come on guys! Family and friends don't want to touch this with a 10 ft pole. I just want to know if you think I'm being rational or selfish...


trishnish - May 6

i think nameing your baby should be a a joint desicion and if you really hate the idea of calling your son by that name your husband should respect that and sit down and have a chat at other possible names you both like after all your son will have his family surname, hope this helps, good luck.


mommy2be27 - May 6

The only problem is, everytime we start to talk about it he gets angry. Not violent angry... he just won't compromise. I can see it being important to him... and I'm glad it is.... I just don't understand why he can't see my point of view. Has anyone heard of a child NOT having a middle name, only a middle initial? My great grandma and great aunts and uncles were named John A., Myrtle B., Harley C. (etc... all the way to H.) but that was also about 100 years ago. I just don't hear of it that much anymore???


Tye - May 6

Ah I don't Know-this is kind of a tough one. Ii's like this is your husbands God given name so saying you don't like it or have a problem with the initial or whatever is like maybe saying to him that you have a problem with him. I'm sure thats not what you mean but it might feel that way to him. Also this sounds really important to him. Why not insert a middle name beginnig with L and use the first name as David. It's not that I think you are unreasonable-it's just obvious this is really important to him and I doubt he is just doing this to make you feel bad. I would think about it some more because afterall-your child is your child no matter what you call him in the end. Goodluck with this one-I'm sure it's not easy!


mandie - May 6

My boyfriend was very set on Jr as well. The problem I had with it was that I don't like his middle name at all, (neither does he) and he already has a boy and girl from a previous relationship. I never really wanted a junior to begin with, and it seemed to me that if there was to be a junior, it should be the first born son, not the third child by a second woman. (We don't know if it is a boy or girl yet anyway.) Our relationship is on the rocks as it is, so this doesn't help. He also didn't want to be part of picking a girl name! Finally I told him that we needed to sit down and find some names that we both like, or I'd pick and he'd have no say at all. He finally agreed to look thru some books with me. Probably wasn't the best way to go about handling the situation, and I wouldn't recommend going that route. I would however try to reason with your dh that this is a decision that should be made by both of you and makes both of you happy. Good luck. Oh, and if you're horrible for not doing Jr, we can both be horrible and hormonal together!


mcatherine - May 6

Don't forget to remind your husband that your son will carry on his last name to future generations - which is often considered by many to be the true testament to his legacy.


mommy2be27 - May 6

Thanks for the responses... I'm still uncertain about what to do. I half jokingly suggested if the baby is born on an even number I name him, on an odd he name him. He wasn't satisfied. He said he wants his son named after him. Tye- I suggested giving a middle name that began with "L" and he nixed the idea. If it's not the same he doesn't feel it will be junior.


frankschick2001 - May 8

I think you are over-reacting a little. Let your husband have his namesake. Middle names are hardly used by anyone but the parents anyway! It's not like the kid is going to go through life introducing himself as "Hi, my name is David J." or "Hello, I'm David Aidan". Let him be a Jr. if your DH has his heart set on it.


lynnstress - May 10

Today's history lesson: Harry S. Truman, former president of the United States, did not have a middle name. It was just S. Apparently, it is (or was) a southern thing. It didn't hurt him! Also, my FIL is Mxxxx Mxxx. No middle name at all. Hubby is Mxxxx Anthony Mxxx, and don't dare call him junior! And, best of all, our son is Jackson Phillip, because hubby wanted a son to call JP. You still have time to try and figure out a compromise or some name that will work for both of you.


Bluemonster - May 10

I don't want to be mean, but I've always felt that men who INSIST (without listening to other options) on naming their sons after them are taking a little bit of an ego trip. It sounds like your husband doesn't even want to hear any other suggestions, which seems really rigid and selfish to me. If you were having a girl instead would you guys be naming it after you? It took both of you to create the baby, so it should be both of you making the major decisions for him. I can't imagine how difficult it must be for you and I hope that you find a solution that makes all three of you happy.


oz - May 12

To be totally honest i have never liked the whole Junior thing and when i asked my partner would he want a son (if we had one) to be named after him he said no way. The baby would have his surname and his genes so i dont see why it has to have the same first name and middle initial. My brother and my dad both had the same initials but different first names and it use to be a pain in the b___t when mail arrived that would have Dear Mr B J XXX as my mum etc never knew who it was for and they were forever opening each others mail.


mommy2be27 - May 12

Thanks for the replies. The other day at my step-daughters birthday party someone asked about the name... I said I didn't know yet and explained the situation. My husband said if he wasn't named after him he didn't want any part of naming him. Like Bluemonster said... it's his way or no way on this. What I didn't mention before... when I first found out I was pregnant I asked "if it's a boy do you want him named after you?" He said I don't know. Four months later when we found out it was a boy and I said I prefer NOT to have a junior he said... "well I want him named after me." No time in that four month period did he talk about wanting our son named after him. AND he shot down every girls name I came up with but would not suggest any of his own. And the kicker.... which has to be mentioned. He has been out of work off and on for 2 years. He has spent exactly $5 towards the baby... a swing at a yard sale. I have been going to school full-time, working on my BSN for nursing and working part-time. Everything we have has been bought by me, my dad, or my grandma (Although my MIL is going to take me on a shopping spree after my shower.) I can't help but to wonder how much longer I'm going to put up with this AND should a split happen down the road... how much do I want a junior then? I'd be lying if I said that this is not playing a major role in my dilemna. FYI: This pregnancy wasn't an accident, but a surprise. I didn't think I was able to get pregnant. While I would have most certainly planned this at a better time if possible, I don't resent it and am willing to put in the extra work..... but I don't think he is. Come on... 8 months pregnant and my husband is working odd jobs?


In_Denial - May 12

I have to agree with you mommy2be27 and Bluemonster, i for one also think that when a guy insists on having a boy named after him it is a ego thing. I also just cant stand it when there are so many guys called Jr. I think everybody deserves their own name...i also want to say, and i'm not trying to be rude, but you should really have a talk with your husband about the responsibility that has come to both of you and that he should be mature and hold a job for the sake of all three of you...Good Luck!


collint3 - May 17

I thikn you should give you child his fathers name but give him a middle name that begins with the letter of his fathers middle name. I love Aidan though, i convinced one of my girlfriends to name her son Aidan


kellie - May 17

I really dislike the whole "junior" thing. It is just not something that has ever been done in my family. My husband really wants to name a son after him, but the thought just makes me cringe. I think we will end up using my husbands first name as the middle name, but that make is very difficult because every name I love totally clashes with it. What goes with Dustin? I am praying for a girl!!!


mommy2be27 - May 17

Does anyone have any cute suggestions for a middle name that begins with "L" that goes with David? Also... I don't want our son to go by David, Dave, or Davy. Either I go his way and we call him "D.J" for David junior, or we go my way and call him by whatever his middle name is (whether that be Aidan, a name beginning with "L" or whatever). I'm dead set against calling him the same name that my husband has, and my husband is called by all the variations of David there are. I think that is just confusing. So this also plays a role. All the "L" names I can think of aren't any good. The closest I came, and still am not thrilled with, is Landon. Opinions...suggestions?



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