Please I Need Advice Im Scared And Confused

5 Replies
NettieMarkus - September 15

I moved up to Colorado from Texas in February to be with my boyfriend and my sister. I now live with my boyfriend at his house with his parents. Im 20 years old and I just found out on Friday that im pregnant. I dont have a job and my boyfriend is still in school, hes 19. Hes always been a well behaved kid and hes pretty much mommy's precious. Im trying to get my GED but I cant pass it. I feel like I cant have a baby. I feel like I cant physicly, mentally or financially do it. I cant even finish school for goodness sake!! I keep wanting to tell his parents but I dont know how we're going to bring it up and how they are going to handle it. I love his family to death and they are going through hard money times and Im going to HATE telling them this. My thoughts on abortion are a little shady...I hate the thought of doing it and I DONT want to but I dont think Im the kind of person that can handle being pregnant. Even if I decided to abort I CANT AFFORD IT. My family will NOT give me help they've already been helping my twin sister with her pregnancy.


Miss Nikki - September 15

wow, girl. That's tough, I'm sorry to hear that. I'm in a similar situation. My bf is the golden child to his whole family. I'm 19, he's 21. We're in college though... But my advice to you: 1) If you don't feel like you could handle an abortion, DON'T DO IT! It will mess you up emotionally and you will feel empty and regretful. I know times are rough, but you've got to pull it together! 2) Study, study, study! Don't give up! Pa__s your GED test so you can at least get a job or get into a vocational school so you can learn a work skill like physician's a__sistant or being a dental a__sistant. You can do it! Just think of your baby's life and how good you want to make it! You guys have 9-10 months to get jobs and start making money! 3) I know things seem really hard, but you really can't doubt yourself. Sure, you can be scared, but never doubt yourself! You are the 1st person you have to deal with, so prove it to yourself and everyone around you that you are able to be a good mother and you and your boyfriend can provide for your family! Good luck!


SaraLynn - September 16

Remember that there is a 3rd option: Adoption. There are people out there (myself included) who have a hard time getting pregnant or can't get pregnant. When we hear about something like your situation it's all the harder on us. Don't kill that innocent baby, give that baby a chance with loving parents that otherwise couldn't have a baby. All you have to do is make it through nine months. If you talk to your boyfriend's family and tell them that you are making a smart decision by giving the baby up, it'll be easier for them to accept what has happened rather than hearing that you've had an abortion. And like Miss Nikki said, all the abortion will do is mess you up. You'll come to regret it later. If things are tight you'll go to someone who isn't as well respected because they're cheaper and you could end up with serious complications, which I won't even get into the details about. If you go through with the pregnancy and put the baby up for adoption all you'll lose is a few weeks to recover from the labor and delivery. Some adoption agencies even arrange so that if you want to know how the baby is doing as s/he grows you can receive pictures every once and a while. Just make sure that you fully think this through before you do something that can't be reversed. Good luck whatever you do.


Grandpa Viv - September 16

If you do decide to investigate the possibility of termination, look at the links on - there is funding for women in your situation. Don't leave it too late! Good luck!


girliemex00 - September 17

Wow! This is weird, because we're in the same boat. I'm 27, married to a wonderful husband, have my Bachelor's, am currently working on a double-masters program, we both have excellent jobs, and I'm thinking the same way you are. I'm scared and confused. I just as well, found out last Friday that I was pregnant. I bawled my eyes out, and I'm contemplating the abortion pill. Only because I feel like we're not ready to be parents. I'm scarred to death, and I just keep going over and over it in my head; because having a baby is such a life changing decision. We had always decided we'd deal with it when it happened, and well it happened and don't really know how to deal with it. I keep getting "Congratulations," from everyone, but I'm not happy. It's like everyone can get excited about it, but I just don't feel this way. I'm not sure, if it's me being selfish, I just don't know how to feel about. I'm wondering if there is something wrong with me. It really only takes one time.


Tara B - September 17

I agree with SaraLynn. You can always do adoption. People will pay for all your medical bills plus pay you ( I mean thousands of dollars to have you give them your baby). Have you seen Baby Momma, Juno and there is a series on MTV "16 and pregnant". The last episode they give there baby up for adoption. You have internet access pleasee look up some resources.



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