Pregnant Again Desperate For Advice

1 Replies
fertilemurtle - September 19

Hey everyone. I'm going to go ahead and throw it out there before I share my story that I am a 24 yr. old college student with a child that will be 3 in November. I was in a relationship with the father for just under 5 years. It was incredibly dysfunctional, "stay together for the kid" kind of relationship. He was abusive and very self-centered. It was incredibly empowering to finally have the guts to kick him the curb. Though we rarely get along, we have a "shared" custody agreement, but we have never involved the courts. I basically have her 90% of the time, he takes her every other weekend (just about) and an occasional week day here and there... About 3 months ago, I met a really great guy and started dating him. He was the first person I was with since splitting from my ex. I was instantly attracted to him, he is a very honest, sincere man and felt very happy with him. Last month, we began being intimate. We were not responsible because I was not on birth control and we practiced the "pull-out" method. My last period started on 8/5/10, and after I realized it was late... I took 5 pregnancy tests and they all came back positive. The physicians around here won't see you until you are at least 8 weeks, so I have not had a sonogram, but that put me at 6 weeks this past Thursday. I have no idea what to do. Though I am in a relationship, I still consider myself a single mom, because my boyfriend does not live with my daughter and I. I am deathly afraid to get into another situation where we are basically forced together because we had a child... I cannot bare the heartbreak of another failed attempt at a family. I feel incredibly irresponsible for letting this happen, like it makes me a bad mother to my daughter. I'm currently a full time college student, seeking a degree in Secondary Education, and I serve tables at a local Pub. I by no means have the income to support 2 children and do not want to give up school again, because I do want to have a career I'm proud of and give my daughter a good life. I do not know if I should go ahead with the pregancy or terminate. My boyfriend is wonderful with my daughter and children in general, but is also a college student. He will be graduating in December, but works in the group-home setting with developmentally disabled individuals- so he is also not the most financially stable individual. His parents are also incredibly conservative and we fear that this pregnancy could cause turmoil with his family. I know if I truly wanted to keep it, he would support me. But, I think based on the financial situation, the fact that I have a rocky relationship with my daughters father, we don't live together, we aren't married, and we've only been dating 3 months- I think he'd assume termination. I really need some advice. I understand what abortion is. And, I also understand that I sound incredibly irresponsible. But, if we could keep insults to a minimum- I REALLY, DESPERATELY need advice!!!!


Grandpa Viv - September 19

Murtle, between one third and one half of all women in the USA have an abortion at some time during their reproductive years. The women frequently have one or more children already, and are not starry eyed about the wonders of becoming a mom (again). The reasons are usually economic or involve a poor relationship. Some women have long term regrets about their decision, and for others the trauma fades with time. It depends on how strong your beliefs are. This decision is yours alone to make. I wish the best for you and your little family.



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