Pregnant By Rape

94 Replies
Anon - August 24

I'm 18 and I just found out that I'm pregnant. I was raped last month and that has been horrible enough in its own, but now this. I don't know what to do...I know the baby can't be my boyfriend of two years'....because we're not s_xually active and I'm not on any form of birth control. I'm so stressed out...I don't know if I can tell him - or anyone really. I'm not sure if I could keep the baby....considering how I conceived. Abortion? I'm so lost....

 

Lisa*9 - August 24

Does your boyfriend know you got Raped last month. I think he would understand about the baby and the circ_mstance in which you were in. It is not your fault it happened or your bf's that I knew of for that matter. Sorry to hear this has happened . Hope you reported it to the police. Hope you get some better answers from other ppl on this forum. Sorry I can't offer any advice ,my heart goes out to you.

 

Evy - August 24

Oh, I am so sorry for what you are going through. I am 100% pro-choice and believe that you need to do what feels right for you. With that said, it is a horrible way to get pregnant and it is important that you feel you can differentiate this baby from the rapist. The only way to do this, I believe is to start seeing a therapist (if you are not already doing so) and try to get through some of this anger you are feeling. That should help in your decision making. If you do keep the child you don't want to spend the rest of your life looking at this child and thinking bad memories so you need to make sure that you work through the healing process. I think it is also impt that you have the support of family and friends, of your boyfriend etc, throught this. This was not your fault at all so right now it is important that you figure out what is best for you. I wish I knew what more to say other than please don't feel pressured by others- this is a very personal choice.

 

Anon - August 24

My boyfriend knows about the rape, and he's been really supportive of everything....but I just don't know if I can bring myself to tell him about this baby. I'm just so overwhelmed and I don't know if I can handle it myself...I don't know what to do anymore.

 

soleil - August 24

I agree with Evy, I think you should see a therapist, to help you sort out your thoughts and feelings about this. Im really sorry about what you went through. Did you report this to the police? Do know that this was not your fault what so ever and whatever you decide to do should be respected, it is your choice. Good luck, but really i think you need to talk to someone. Take care...

 

Anon - August 24

I haven't reported anything. I've been so ashamed of what happened, the only person I've told anything to has been my boyfriend. I feel sick to my stomach at the thought of everyone around me knowing what happened. It just seems so much easier to pretend it never did.

 

Lizzie - August 24

None of what happened is your fault. None of it. Once you realize that, you also need to realize that there is a little baby growing inside you and none of this is its fault either. Abortion isn't fair to this little life. It was wrong of whoever did this to you, but you should take responsibility for this baby and not punish it for someone else's mistakes.

 

kEEKEE - August 24

Honey, I think you should go to a rape clinic/hospital. The clinic will have therapist there to help you with your decision. Feeling a shame and alone is normal. This is not your fault. No one ask for something like this to happen to them. So please don't blame yourself. Don't continue to shut your love ones away. You need all the support you can get. Your parents will truly be a great support system for you. You have options. In this case it may be best to use your options. This is your decision. No one here can help you make a life changing decision. It would be best to have the choice communication with your family and friends. In time life will get easier. Remember god would never give us more than we can handle. You are a strong young lady just for telling your story. You will indeed get pa__s this. Take care and God bless

 

ashley - August 24

I know what you are going through...and I am so sorry. The best advice I can give you is..report what happened..don't be ashamed. You did nothing wrong. Remember that this baby is not the rapist. It is an innocent child brought to life through awful circ_mstances. But this baby could also turn out to be the best thing in your life. I know you are scared and angry..and right now...everything seems hopless. But its not. I have a beautiful child now and I am so happy to see his smiling face everyday. Youre bf may be upset at first whicjh would be very understandable, but he should not be upset at you. If he is a good man and loves you, he will stay by your side and love this child as his own. I don't know how serious this relationship is but if it is real love than that is what he would do. Once again, I know what you are feeling...and you can make it through this. I'll be praying.

 

Anon - August 25

Thank you for all your advice....I really appreciate it. I just keep thinking about the future, and worrying that I will see this man's face in my child everyday...if I'll be able to get past that and give this baby the love it deserves...I'm just so scared. I feel like I can't live with having an abortion...but I wonder if I could live any better without one.

 

kate - August 25

u can have ur baby and place it with a good family, a rape baby is hard to deal with. could u have the baby and keep it then look at it every day, with out it bring back the past... if u want to talk u can email me at [email protected] good luck it will be hard.

 

Lisa*9 - August 25

If you don't know who to tell your bf then leave this web page open for him to read himself, I'm sure after his reading this he and you will be able to talk, he can aslo help you ge the help you need. Please email the person in this posting for support. She will help you too. Good Luck and blessings to you and your bf.

 

A - August 25

I would tell your boyfriend and then explore your options for abortion. Did you know who raped you? Has he been arrested.

 

karine - August 25

If i were in your shoes i woudnt know what to do. but i know that if your bf already knows you got raped...then he will understand that you got pregnant. if it were myself i dont think i would keep the baby either...cause of the reason your saying...you would seee the rapist in his eyes everyday. Why dont you think of adoption?? the adopted parents woudnt have to know how the baby was concived and the baby woudnt have to live with it. Or abortion...wich should be the last last resort. But most importantly if you think you may not be able to love this baby ....make the right desicion for both of you...and aslo consider your BF desicions...cause he may not want this baby either...if you have been saving yourself those 2 yrs...maybe he may resent the baby. i wish you good luck.

 

Missa - August 25

My heart goes out to you. I am so sorry. There is not much any of us can say, the trauma alone of being raped is a huge ordeal. You might want to see a thearapist for a little just untill, you feel better about yourself and know that this was nevr your fault. You should't hold something like this in, it is only gonna dwell inside you. I cn't tell you what to do but it would be a really really good idea to sit down with you parents and let them know what has happened/ As ashamed as you are about this, they will be supportive. You should go to a clinick to and get tested and please please if you do not listen to any of this please believe thaat this is not your fault no matter what the circ_mstances where. Rape is never a womens fault. I will be paying for you.

 

Anon - August 26

I finally worked up the courage to tell my boyfriend about the baby. He cried! I felt so bad about everything..especially because there's nothing I can do. I asked him what I should do and he says he can't decide this for me...but that he doesn't know if he could care for the baby as his own. When is it too late to have an abortion? What is it like...is it dangerous? If anyone knows or has experienced it, please let me know.

 

Ranae - August 26

I found out that I was pregnant back in March. I was in a relationship with my bf now my fiance for only 3 months, I found out that I was 4 months pregnant. The child was conceived with me not knowing what happened. I was drugged....well this is the only way I know or can explain what happened to me. I have already had a son from a relationship gone bad. My fiance cares for him like his own and we decided to have this baby. He is a healthy boy and was born on August 9th. I really don't look into his eyes and see anything bad. I see a sweet baby that just wants to be loved. Yes my fiance didn't give me the sperm to make this baby but he was there through my whole pregnancy at least the time I knew I was pregnant. He is the one that was there when he was born and he is the one that loves him like his own.I know that is is hard but I'm telling you that you can do this. It's not that hard. Good Luck!

 

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