Pressure To Breastfeed

23 Replies
kris A. - August 29

My husband is old school and this is his first child. He strongly wants me to bfeed. I do not want to. I know it is the healthiest thing for baby, I know the statistics. I also know my older daughters (all three of them) were not bfed and are honor roll, healthy and vibrant teenagers. I also intend on returning to work at 6 weeks postpartum. So my bf came out for the weekend and when she found out I wasn't going to bfeed, holy cow, they ganged up on me and just WOULD NOT LET UP. I respect her and her decision to bfeed her baby, but she is a stay at home mom, and it just isn't as easy for moms who need to wake up and get out the door, and work in an office all day, then get the older kids from their after school activities and deal with their homework and house chores and the farm chores to fit in bfeeding too. Just not an option for me and pumping at work on my breaks and dealing with leaking br___ts is not in my future. I am seven months and the conversation normally goes - (him) when you start bfeeding... (me, cutting him off) I am NOT bfeeding... (him) We'll talk about it later... (me) when you figure out how to bfeed the baby yourself, let me know how that goes for you... We have been doing this for months! I am getting so fed up with this, I just had to vent!


Jamie - August 29

Perhaps you could pretend to compromise...bfeed while in the hospital, then say it hurts too much to continue. That'll give your baby the colostrum, which is the most important your boyfriend can't say anything if you try and can't continue, cause at least you tried...only you will know if you could have continued.


Tammy - August 29

kris A.- They are your b___bs! Neither one of my kids was b___stfed and my youngest is 4 and has never had an illness. Breastfeeding is very good for baby and for bonding with mommy but it is totally your decision. It is also very confining and sometimes frustrating. If you are returning to work after 6 weeks maybe you could try b___stfeeding for 4 week supplimenting her with formula so when you return to work it won't be too hard.


GD - August 29

I know this is a bit of a controversial subject with many husband and whole family are very old school too and want me to breasfeed.. like Jamie said.. give it a try just at the begining so your baby gets all the nutrients and then switch to bottle. After all remember if you are not comfortable with it, it will not be comfortable for the baby want to enjoy feeding time with your baby and not make it a nightmare.. Hope it all goes well with you.... good luck


your husband - August 29

it's good you're getting pressure but if you can't you can't . It's okay to vent


B - August 29

This is your decision. My mom had 5 kids and didn't b___st feed one of us, we're all fine. I didn't b___st feed my son because my milk supply started decreasing. I tried pumping in the begining since I wasn't all for b___st feeding and it just wasn't working for me. I guess I'm the type who makes excuses to get out of things so make an excuse. Like the other girls said, try it out, if you don't like it, don't do it. Good luck!


k - August 30

In my own experiences (as being a bottlefed baby), there are so many pluses to b___stfeeding (as you know). Do you have diabetes or allergies in your family? diabetes is a huge expense, life changing, life ENDING disease, that can cause amputation, blindness, numbness in limbs. Breastfeeding can prevent this. Maybe if you only b___stfed for a couple of weeks?


B - August 30

This is to "k". I know there are lots of positives about b___stfeeding but they make formula with the stuff found in b___st milk as well. Like I said in my last post, my mom had 5 kids and didn't b___st feed any of us. We're all fine, we don't have allergies or diabetes. My stepmom b___st fed her babies (she has three) and ALL three have allergies. I thought diabetes was linked to obesity but I'm not an expert on b___st feeding, I'm only posting on my life experience. Best of luck to all of ya, we are all different!! Some women can't b___st feed due to adoption or b___st problems thats why they make formula.


L - August 30

Kris, my husband wants me to bf & I'm not sure I want to either. I told him I'd try it & see how it goes. Just stick to your guns-it's your body and it's not for everyone.


Maggie - August 30

k, b___stfeeding WILL NOT prevent diabetes type 1 (childhood onset). If a child does not produce insulin, no amount of b___stmilk is going to change that. Type 2 diabetes (adult onset), has more to do with diet and way of life. Diabetes Insipidus has to do with the kidneys producing large amounts of dilute urine. No form of diabetes has any connection to a baby being formula fed. If your main goal is to come on this forum to scare women into b___stfeeding, than don't bother. There are plenty of women on this forum who are educated, please don't insult our intelligence. While b___stfeeding is the the best way to feed your baby it is not the only way. Formula is safe for babies.


Jamie - August 30

k - I was a b___stfed baby, and am diabetic. The two have nothing do with each other.


J - August 30

I feel you. I didn't b___stfeed my son and he is extremely healthy. My sister bfed and said it was nothing but a pain in the b___t! All she did was feed feed feed. What they don't tell you is how time consuming and hard it can be at times. Especially if you do not have much of a support system. I haven't had much pressure from my family but from outsiders (doctors, nurses, ads, etc.). My husband works 24/7 and this baby is pretty much my sole responsibility along with care for another child. I think formula feeding would be easier and more desirable for me in my situation. If my goal was to sit on the couch all day feeding and not getting anything else done I would consider it but that is not my lifestyle.


CEM - August 30

kris A. - do what is right for you. in the end, it will be you sitting with your baby, b___stfeeding, and not anyone else. if you don't want to b___stfeed but do it anyway just to make others happy, you will resent it, any your baby will feel that. you can have a happy, healthy, well-balanced baby without b___stfeeding, and your other daughters are the proof. people would never think to pressure someone into bottle-feeding, i really don't see why they feel it's acceptable to pressure someone into b___stfeeding. i wish you luck.


Lynne - August 30

If you don't want to, then don't. I encountered the SAME exact thing, and basically just told people to get over it. It's your nipples, your b___sts, and your body and if you don't feel comfortable with it and/or don't want to, then don't worry about it. Yes yes yes, I've heard the stats as well, but in my family - where b___stfeeding is fairly UN-common - we have many, many college grads, people in medical professions, lawyers, businessmen, teachers, and I myself boast a 141 IQ. Shock! Horror! I wasn't b___sted - how did I get smart? There are benefits to b___stfeeding, but I think it's absolutely ridiculous to try and say bf is going to make your child incredibly smarter than other kids, because in real life, stats don't tell the whole story. Formula works for my family, so it is formula I will use. If bf works for others, that's great. But it's not fair to say you're a bad person, making your child dumb, wasting money, being selfish, etc. if you don't. To each their own!


to Jamie - August 30

The two have been linked. There will always be people who think that because they are the exclusion, that the link does not exist. That could not be farther from the truth.


Jamie - August 31

Okay - show me the link. Give me a reference. Please, do.


to Jaime - August 31

"Type 1 diabetes is less common in people who were b___stfed and in those who first ate solid foods at later ages." --



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