13 Replies
candy_cree - May 1

Iam about 5 weeks pregnant.... I just found out yesterday and I havent told my boyfriend yet....Ill tell him for sure... but i really dont know what to do i would love to keep the baby but on his behalf i know for sure he doesnt want to have a baby and he will want me to get an abortion...... iam strictly against abortions and i told him that long ago.... ohh please sum helpful advice im so confused


deza1 - May 1

Firsf of all, how old are you? Asking, because it sounds like you are very young. I know you are in a tough spot right now, but I was in the same situation with my first baby. The pregnancy was not planned and he was not ready for a baby at all. I am totally against abortion but that is my opinion and when I told him, I let him know that whether he was with me or not I was still having the baby. He didn't say much at that moment but the next day he called and said he would be with me every step of the way and he respected me more for saying that to him. If you are against it, then I would say to you forget him and follow your heart but I don't know exactly what your situation is so it's kind of hard to give advice. GL


candy_cree - May 1

yeah sorry iam young im 19 turning 20


candy_cree - May 1

My situation is messed up ...... he is a muslem and iam a native were not married and he says his culture is very strick on that.


deza1 - May 1 are in a tough situation. The only thing I can tell you is, if you truly in your heart think you can not do this on your own then you have to check out your options and I am pretty sure you already know what they are. It depends on you as a person. I don't judge anyone who decides on abortion because not everyone can handle having a baby and keeping it or even having it and giving it up for adoption and everyone is ent_tled to do what they wish. GL and I hope you get rid of your BF...if he were a real man, no religion or culture would get in the way of him taking care of his responsiblity. If he knew his religion was so stick on that, then he should have taken better precaution. Sorry, guys just p__s me off sometimes...and it sounds like he is just making excuses. Again..GL in whatever you decide to do.


deza1 - May 1

Sorry, I meant strict with that not stick with that.


schar - May 1

tell him he'll have to deal and so what about his religion tell him that or u there are execeptions in life he can lay with u but not marry u that is messed up and don't get an abortion just like he has values so do u


candy_cree - May 1

Thank you very much i agree with everything you said and it is very true....... ive already talked to my grandmother and some family members and they dont want me to abort or put up for adoption.... i guess the next step would be to talk to his ignorent b___t and hopefully he respects my decision.. on keeping the baby


clindholm - May 1

So his religion does not permit him to have a child if it is not with a Muslim wife, but it does permit abortion? That is one unusual religion. I know a couple who is Muslim and I thought they were against premarital s_x and abortion. Is he just being selective with his beliefs? I'm sorry you're in such a tough situation. Remember, you are the one that has to live with your decision. I am glad you have a family that supports you. Good luck, I wish you the best.


gram2b - May 1

You have a LEGAL right to keep the baby. Even if he dosent want u to. Right or wrong, he cannot persuade u either way, LEGALLY. So, its YOUR decision. I hope he accepts the baby, but if he dosent, his loss. You will be just fine. Dont be scared...God will take care of you.!!!


Krissy68 - May 1

candy_cree - I agree with the other ladies but you should also tell him that an abortion is against your religion and it is a SIN in case he didn't know that. Is he married already? Cut him lose you now or he is going to make you very unhappy. You have your family support and that is a good thing you will be okay. Pray about it. Krissy68


Grandpa Viv - May 1

Yes, his religion is very strict about s_x outside marriage - in Saudi you would both face the death penalty. The only way he can partly redeem himself is by marrying you. In Africa his father would owe your father fifty cows! From your point of view, I do not think I would want to be messing with someone with that kind of belief set, especially if he picks and chooses which sura apply to him, and which not. Muslims also believe that wives are property, not free. Be happy with your family support. You will find a good man to love you and this baby in due course. Good luck!


candy_cree - May 2

no he is not married we have been together for two years.... and he used to say he would marry and have kids when he is ready and she doesnt have to be a muslem woman.... my only worry is his famiy and weither or not he wants the baby... but i know ill be fine and thank you for your opinions they are all very helpful


Grandpa Viv - May 2

It sounds like his religious convictions are pretty weak. He is indirectly telling you how his family is going to react. Try telling him of the love and support he will get from your family if he sticks by you and the baby. I visualize you breaking the news the next time you are about to make love, after first telling him how much he means to you, and him responding in kind. Is that corny, or does it sound like a plan?



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