Scared And Alone Anyone Relate

10 Replies
Colleen - January 30

I was two months pregnant before I found out. I had s_x the day after my period was over, and I was bleeding irregularly, but enough to fool me, so I didn't think anything of it. You can imagine my shock when my doctor told me I was pregnant. My boyfriend of four years left me when I told him I wouldn't have an abortion, I live alone in a new town with no friends or family, and I have a year left for my bachelors degree. I am not financially stable, and although I have always considered myself a strong person, all I seem to do is cry from the time I wake up, when I'm in school, to whe n I go to sleep. I know its important for the baby's health that I'm happy, but I'm so scared for the future that it seems impossible. How do you have a positive outlook on things when everything seems so wrong? Input please! I'm scared of not being a good mom!


desire - January 30

its either you can give your baby adoption within your family, until you are financially stable to get your baby back. Or you can have it and try to get your family's support. Just Keep Your Head Up Girl! Just pray about things ok! If not, goto a school's psychologist and talk your problems over with them.


colleen - January 31

Thanks desire, in the state that I live in the father has to sign over paternity for adoption, and that's not possible. I am getting counceling though, and prayers have become as second nature as breathing. Thank you for your response.


DESIRE - January 31



Mimi - January 31

Pray , pray , and pray !! God is faithful and will not let u down. I got preg. in my teens, dad left me, didn't care so much, to day i'm 26 and happily married with another child frm hubby. I am stronger than ever . There's nothing wrong for a strong person to cry all day, ur human , not super-human, that means u have emotins and feelings. And another advice live each day at a time, don't think too much of tomorrow, each day will take care of itself, make sure ur healthy..everything will follow its natural course. Be strong ,all is well ! sending u a hug ur way......


Megan - January 31

Colleen, I'm in kind of the same position you are. My mother lives in Ma__sachusetts, and my father lives in San Antonio, Texas, and I live in Houston. What's worse is that the father is black, and most of my dad's family are racists. Plus, I'm financially unstable as well; I'm looking for a second job now. I only found out I was pregnant about three weeks ago, but I'd been suspicious for about six weeks before I worked up the courage to take an E.P.T. It's a hard situation to be in, but I'm sure your family will at least stand by you, even if they don't live close by. As for the baby's dad, he sounds like a jerk anyway if he'd leave you right now when you need him more than ever. I should know; my baby's dad is contemplating the same thing, aside from being in complete denial. And you know what? As long as you're worried about being a good mom, you'll be a good mom. It's when you get complacent that you start to be a bad mother. Have hope.


tiffani - January 31

I'm so sorry to hear your situation. What kind of man leaves after 4 years and with a baby on the way? Certainly not one that deserves to be with you. It's not going to be easy, but YOU CAN DO IT. What are the chances of you moving back home? Do you think your family would help you financially & emotionally? Do you belong to a church? What about the babies father? Does his family know? Are they willing to help? Is adoption a consideration at this point? There are a lot of resources available through the government to help women in your situation. Do you have health insurance? If not, call your local health department so they can get the ball rolling on the care you need throughout this pregnancy. Also call social services and I think they are the ones who can set you up with WIC (stands for Women, Infants, Children). My best friend had it and it paid for some healthy groceries when she was pregnant, as well as formula and baby food when the baby arrived. You can do this.


EJ - February 3

Hi Collen - I am so sorry to hear things are so tough just now, but I totally agree with Megan - if you are concerned you will be a bad mother - the fact you are going ahead against the odds says a great deal about your strength and determination - you will be a great Mum. As for the crying - probably something to do with your hormones, not that you are weak. Why not take up Desire's suggestion and go to see someone at school who can a__sist you, even if only with kind words - it will make you feel better, and be sure - you will not be the only girl this has happened to in your college - and there is probably some kind of support system you wont get to hear about till you ask. As for the baby's Dad - he is probably as scared as you, but unlike you, he can just walk away - I don't know how old you both are but I am sure it came as a great shock - that is not to say it gave him the right to walk away - but as he has, maybe he wasn't the man you needed in the first place. Please try to be strong - this is just the place for advice and support, and although you may have no friends in your town, there are plenty on the other end of the computer. Good luck - be strong - keep writing. Thinkin about you......


lisa - February 4

colleen i know how you feel. i was told i could never have kids and now that i am pregnant, my b/f decided he doesn't want to be a father. he pressured me constantly to have an abortion and when i refused, he stopped calling and told me not to expect anything from him. it hurts because i feel alone, don't know what to do since i've never been pregnant. i want to feel happy but instead i am really depressed. i am 8 weeks and the thought of killing my baby is to hurtful to even consider. i cry every night and it takes everything out of me to bare a smile while at work during the day. you are not alone . . .


marsha - February 8

I can relate as i was in your shoes. I know it's tough, but hang in there, and time will lead you to the day you're a new mother, and a good one at that. Perhaps you should put your degree on hold, and see if you can go back home for emotional support (as well as financial). It's not a cop out. You NEED support. This isn't a time to test your strength. After the birth of your child you can continue your degree. Go and find some peace and happiness, and be PROUD that you chose to have this child. More importantly, be HAPPY! Life truly begins after the birth of a child. Things will fall into place. It's not a hopeless situation.


cheryl - February 9

please visit this site if you want to talk you can email [email protected]



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