Shower Yes Or No

40 Replies
Melissa - October 21

I think showers for second (and third etc.) are fine. But when they are so close in age, I'd say not to because.....well to be honest....as happy as people are for you, having a shower just forces them to buy you more gifts. Times are tough and I personally would not want to keep going to shower after shower, especially when these gifts are not cheap. Also, if you already have the major stuff that you need, then why have another one? Just ask the people very close to you that if they are going to get you a gift, chip in for the pack and play, or tell them something specific to buy for you. But having showers so close together is a burden for others. And yes, you should help plan your friend's shower.

 

Jan - October 21

I think it depends on the att_tude of your friends and family a little bit. With the people I know showers thrown for yourself seem tacky and 2nd time showers that are that close don't really happen. Most people who have tried to do that have not had many people show up since it seemed inappropriate. You may need things but its not you're friends obligation to buy them for you. If you can't afford to buy the baby the basic starters you sound like you are not in the best financial situation for a 2nd child. WIC and foodstamps are great programs that help poor moms.

 

?! - October 21

Like I said, Jan, I can afford anything my kids need, or want. And more for others too. So I'm in just as good of a financial situation to have this baby as anyone else!This is only my third. And last. If you'd read all of my posts you'd know that. I'm not some tacky, poor trash that looks for handouts that you may be used to seeing! I just thought a celebration might be nice. But it looks like others in this world don't care one way or another if babies are born or celebrated. I didn't plan on throwing a shower for myself. But someone else has. If someone feels that it's an "obligation" or burden to share joy in new life, then they don't deserve to be around me anyway. They don't deserve to be around anyone else who loves and takes care of their babies for that matter!

 

April McIntyre - October 21

i thought with my second that i would not get a shower because they are only 13months apart but due to my difficult pregnancy and my LOW income some friends surprised me with one,

 

Curious - October 21

So this is your third child? Not your second? Did you have a shower with both of your other kids already?

 

leila - October 21

What you did not make clear is if someone offered to throw you a shower or if you plan to throw one for yourself. If someone offers, then I reluctantly say to accept but never ever throw your own shower for subsequent pregnancies. That was never in style and never will be. Not that you plan to but you never made it clear, at least not that I read. Sorry if I missed it somewhere. Good luck to you!!

 

Jan - October 21

HHmm, from your orginal post all you seem to talk about is the material stuff you want. No mention of celebration of your new baby. It sounded like you were needy or not financially well off by your own post. Then when you got some comments you switched to oh, I want this to celebrate my new litttle bundle of joy.

 

?! - October 21

First of all, why would anyone throw their own shower? For a wedding, or baby? That does look like begging no matter whether the first or tenth! You don't have to throw your own shower to help. I think it's tacky to let someone throw a shower, and you not try to help organize, or pay, or do something in any way. We went to a lady's shower last year who didn't help in any way, and she just sat there acting like she didn't appreciate anything. The reason I mentioned things I need is to say that I don't need big things, or much. So small things, or nothing is needed for the shower. And to ask if I should even have one. Not to look like I'm needy. If I were to look needy I'd be mentioning everything in the world. My oldest is seven, and we had a VERY small shower for her. Didn't make a big deal at all, and I regret that for her. It's just something very personal.

 

TCB - October 21

Some of my friends and i threw a shower for a co worker and another girl i work with came and brought her son with her and she kept say oh hes stealing all the attention and hes the center of attention at the party. I really thought that was a bit screwed up. She clearly stated that her husband could have watched him. Its like She and her baby wanted all the attention. Why are people like that?

 

?! - October 21

That's what happened with me last year. I had my shower 1 1/2 months after the lady I spoke of in the paragraph above. And she brought her one month old to my shower! I knew her husband could keep the baby. It wasn't like she was b___st feeding him. I've never seen that before in my life! But hey! If someone's got to go all out for the attention like that. God bless 'em!

 

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