Shower For A Second Baby Should I

17 Replies
N - October 4

Ok, everyone in our family and some close friends have been asking us "when is the baby shower" but part of me feels really bad having one. We just found out we are having another boy, so it's not like we need anything. My mom was talking about having one two weeks before my due date (around the first of november) for me. I had mentioned to her that I didn't really need anything and that maybe asking the guests to bring frozen meals for our first week home from the hospital would be much more helpful.. she thought that it was kind of rude to ask for food... now I'm not sure what to do. Should I even have a baby shower? Is it really rude of me to ask the guests to bring meals instead of gifts?? I just thought it would be really nice since we will still be settling into the new place.


Amanda - October 4

I wouldn't take it as being rude. You should have one and then just register at the local supermarket. ;)


jb - October 4

I dont see why you cant. I know lots of people that have one for their second. But dont do it if you feel funny about it. You could always have a co-ed "baby barbeque" or something. That why it would be more relaxed and less formal. Just another way for everyone to celebrate your new edition. They could bring gifts if they feel like it. I dont think its rude to ask people to bring food either.


Steph - October 4

I think that would depend on who the actual guests are going to be if you are going to ask for meals as opposed to gifts. I can see if it is just very close friends and family members, but if it's co-workers and aquaintences, then I would say no way.


N - October 4

hehe.. thanks ladies. Something for me to think about I guess. We had a co-ed shower last time too.. it was supposed to be close friends and family, but alot of family friends and extended family came too, and it was huge. I think that's why I am kind of iffy on having one this time. I don't want to leave anyone out (again) and have them be mad, but I don't want a huge deal of a shower either.


Leigh - October 4

The idea that you can only have a shower for your first child is HIGHLY outdated. Showers are thrown for the TENTH child these days, so I wouldn't worry about that aspect at all. Besides, as my mother so pointedly brought out to me, it would be very sad for only one child to have a baby book filled with squares from the gifts and good wishes from the guests. As for what to bring, I actually think the food idea is nifty. Perhaps, if you're worried about "manners", be discreet in asking. In the invitations have the hostess include a note saying you don't need big ticket items, so think along the lines of new onesies, receiving blankets or "any way you can help the family in their first week at home with the baby"; I am in an upper middle cla__s/lower upper cla__s family and find this to be perfectly acceptable. Lastly, if you are wanting to be more MODEST for this shower, just invite fewer people; cap it off at say 15-20 people instead of the more typically 25+. Remember that word spreads quickly, so even if you don't include a note specifically asking for meals, let it slip out and perhaps it will get around!


Tammy - October 4

N- I was in the same position. I have a son and this baby is due the same time of year. I thought that I needed nothing. Wait until you get out the old stuff. Lots of things needed replacing. You need some new blankets, receiving blankets, onsies, tee shirts, sleepers, etc. let alone all of the new stuff that come onto the market since. I insisted on no shower but my mil gave me one anyway. I got some great gifts. I had a good sturdy stroller from my son, but I got the new Eddie Bauer one and I decided to keep it. I got the Papasan swing and bouncer, which were not out when my son was born and I am keeping them too. Have the shower, it's fun!


Lisa - October 4

I don't think it's rude at all... it's a great idea! Women are far to busy these days and any help is greatly appreciated.. if you want ask them to come over with the meal idea planned ahead of time and you can get together and have some food out for them and may be some champagne! What a great afternoon!


klm - October 4

My opinion is that some people will be unhappy no matter what you do. So do what you think is right. If someone wants to throw you another shower, great, it's not like you went around asking for it. I don't see any problem with asking for frozen meals instead of gifts, most people will be happy to help you out.


Jess - October 5

I think it's being greedy.


Jamie - October 5

I like the food idea! A lot of people consider second showers to be rude. I would include a note on the invitation that says something like "baby items are not needed; if you wish to bring a gift, please bring frozen meals for the first week home." And I think someone needs to kick Jess in the tookus. :-)


Lisa - October 5

It's not being greedy...I'm going to take all the help I can get for every child I have. If it's friends and family what's the problem? That's what they are there for and I'm sure we would do the same for them if it was reversed.


nhb - October 5

I too think the food idea is great--and registering at the supermarket, that's awesome!! And it's not like you're asking for one, it seems like you don't even want one--I however, think it should be that all babies have a gathering, and especially since people see it as bad manners to have a second shower b/c of the idea of bringing another gift, just bring food instead! That is a fabulous idea, and since my MIL is also throwing me a second shower, I may just add some food onto my "wish list" :D Thanks for the idea!


ksl - October 5

i agree with jess...its being greedy to register for more baby things...the food idea is unique...hopefully people won't think you are desperate and need food


Amaya's mommy aka Stephanie - October 5

I am a stay at home mom so me and my baby watch TLC all day. They actually had a baby food shower not too long ago. It was for a second or third baby. You have people bring it in dishes that they dont want back (plastic bowls, aluminum pans etc) and they still wrap it up and everything. They can still bring a pack of onesies or blankets or bibs or whatever but food is the #1 item. It is kind of like a diaper shower (which you could also do!) You still get to unwrap gifts and then as party favors you have everyone bring their recipes on index cards and make them a mini cookbook from your shower! It was a really neat idea.


J - October 5

I am not having one. I am also having another boy. My mother in law talked about having one for me but several of my friends are also pregnant and they already have children and are not having second showers. I really don't need anything anyway but it does kind of stink the 2nd time around it seems like you don't get pampered at all!


Dustie - October 5

First of all, YOU shouldn't plan a shower for yourself. IF someone wants to host one for you, ask them to make it a pampers shower, I know you will need diapers & wipes. IF someone asks what you need besides diapers & wipes, you can suggest food or gift certificates to the grocery store or Wal-Mart.



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